My life on the interwebz


Celebrating a decade of shitposting
Jul 6, 2007
Michigan, USA
United States
Here I am, 2:05 in the morning, not tired and incredibly bored. Searching for something to do, I browse DX, put up an avatar, and notice my blog button. My blog... so cold... so empty. I know I must fill it with something immature and vaguely humorous... but what? Frantically, I start to search my hard drive for old files. I come across old essays, written by members of another, now-defunct board. I remember backing them up in November, before the forum was taken down. But there's one missing, my personal favorite. I check Google, trying my hardest to find it, but every site it was ever posted on either evades Google's listing or has deleted it. However, I remember one place it might still be. After an additional 20 minutes of searching, I finally find it, the one wall of text I had tried so hard to hunt down. So without further ado, an end to this overly long intro(and almost to this blog post itself), The FEG Essay:

Originally posted on GameFAQs by Spiral_Fishcake, June 2006
This is an essay about a user. Not just any user, however. This essay is about a user by the name of Fireemblemguy. Oops, I'm sorry. It should be FireEmblemGuy. My apologies. It is in the general opinion that this user, by the name of FireEmblemGuy, or FEG, is an idiot. Not just any idiot. And idiot with a capital i. Oops, I should have capitalized. She would be an Idiot. He does many unspeakable thinks to warrant this opinion. Many things. For one he exited. I mean existed. He came about when his mother and his father engaged in sexual intercourse and he was concieved. However, something went wrong during conception and he came out horribly wrong. But I digress. FEG pretends to be people. This most likely stems from his dissatisfaction with himself. In short, he can't get no satifaction. See, it's funny, because is a lyric from a song. I don't know the artist, however. Or I just can't remember. But I digress again. FEG claimed that he was Plastic_People. Not that he was a person of plastic, however. He claimed to be a troll. A former troll on the FE8 boards. This troll had an astounding abilty to crush people in debates. He was hated by many until a user name Squid_Vicious, a.k.a Enraged_Squid, Bishop_Renault, and Squid_Vicous admitted he was Plastic_People. But I digress. However, FEG was late for the party. I'm sorry, that was bad. He was the last one on the train. Much better. He put text in his signature on GFAQs that stated he was Plastic_People. This was a lie. Squid was Plastic. And Plastic was Squid. He was told to remove the sig. He chose not to, and became hostile. This resulted in Squid returning to GFAQs to get him to remove it. He chose not to, and he was marked and Warned for impersonation. This meant he could noly make 10 psots a day. A day is 24 hours. He became angry and flamed users. Flaming is a clear insult of other users. He was marked again. After this, he jonied Squid's board, Land of the Squid. It is not a land of Squid, however. It jsut that the main administator was Squid. However, his name is now Ace Face, so the board should become Land of the Ace. Or Land of the Face. Or land of the Ace Face. But I digress. He was mocked constantly there, with users in power editting his profile. He responded by psoting a cheap version of the Garm essay that sucked badly. This si why I am making this essay. Because everyone hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hates him

Having finished my meaningless memoir post, it is now 2:47 in the morning. I may rest.

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