Math Jokes

[webyugioh]

Here is some funny math stuff I love looking at.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The biologists: "They have reproduced".
The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."

Q: What caused the big bang?
A: God divided by zero. Oops!

QUOTE

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:
"Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says:
"No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

And finally,

I hope you find these as funny as I do.

 

[xcalibur]

Lol.
I didn't get the one about the mathematician but they're all funny.

 

[Hyperlisk_]

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:
"Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says:
"No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

You only get that one if you've taken calculus

But they were funny nonetheless(sp?)

 

[notnarb]

Lol.
I didn't get the one about the mathematician but they're all funny.

First, they see two people going into the house
+2 = 2 people
After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house
2 - 3 people = -1
If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again
-1 + 1 = 0 aka empty

 

[webyugioh]

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:
"Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says:
"No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

You only get that one if you've taken calculus

But they were funny nonetheless(sp?)

Yep, its a great joke to use to pick out the math geeks in a crowd.
It's a personal favorite.

 

[xcalibur]

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:
"Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says:
"No, I am not scared, I am e^x."
You only get that one if you've taken calculus

But they were funny nonetheless(sp?)

Yep, its a great joke to use to pick out the math geeks in a crowd.
It's a personal favorite.

God I hate Calculus. And trigonometry. And Algebra. And complex numbers.

I hate maths.

WHY the hell am I doing A level maths?

 

[CockroachMan]

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says:
"Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says:
"No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

And the guy answers: "And I'm dy."

 

[Anakir]

LOL. Nice, I don't usually look at math jokes.. so some of these were new to me.

 

[martin88]

Heh. Funny stuff.

 

[Tommy Gunn]

I hate math but i thought those were funny