Lightbulb jokes.

[Wolvenreign]

I'll start.

How many Russkies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, LIGHTBULB SCREWS YOU!

(At least it's a twisty one...)

 

[cwstjdenobs]

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler

None, I'll just sit here in the dark. No one ever visits me.

 

[FAST6191]

Bit of a field specific one but-

How many street skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler: Answer

One but it will take him 20 tries

 

[Forstride]

How many Apple Employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- Seven. one to change the bulb, and six to design the T-shirt.

 

[cwstjdenobs]

off topic on topic, I haven't seen a screw fit light fitting outside of museums, do other countries still use them?

How many therapists does it take to screw in a light bulb

Spoiler

Only one, but the light bulb hass got to really want to change.

 

[ShadowSoldier]

How many settlers from the year 1700 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

none, they use candles

Alright, I'll go hang myself for that terrible joke.

 

[Rydian]

off topic on topic, I haven't seen a screw fit light fitting outside of museums, do other countries still use them?

I wasn't aware there even WAS anything else.

 

[cwstjdenobs]

Bayonet fitting, but never read up on it before. You know I'm actually quite well travelled but have never had the need to change a light bulb when abroad.

EDIT:

How many English men does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler

None, they are illegal, but compact fluorescent lamp doesn't scan.

 

[mameks]

There's a seriously tasteless one about Ukrainians...

 

[cwstjdenobs]

We glow in the dark?

 

[mameks]

We glow in the dark?

I got told it by a Russian :3

 

[Frog]

off topic on topic, I haven't seen a screw fit light fitting outside of museums, do other countries still use them?

I wasn't aware there even WAS anything else.

Neither...

Edit: Scratch that, I've seen bayonet fitting tons of times.

 

[Westside]

Military joke:
How many officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler: Answer

None, they'll get an NCO (non-commissioned officer) to do it.

 

[ProtoKun7]

Bayonet fittings are the most common here, though we have screw-ins too.

 

[MelodieOctavia]

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler

Five. One to hold the light bulb and four to spin the room.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler

Only two, but the question is how the hell did they get in there in the first place?

 

[Warrior522]

Soo... How many Tempers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

[Veho]

One (of the mods). The rest of us would just mill around and click "refresh" every now and then and blame the noobs.

 

[CannonFoddr]

(on similar theme)

Q: How many Newbies does it take to screw in a Lightbulb
A: None, they post a question in a forum to ask how to do it

 

[gameboy13]

How many fox boys?

 

[Sausage Head]

three? 2 to cuddle and one that actually does it