Her name? It was like the wind. Only ever came through in cool whispers. I couldn't put my finger on it. She was like fire. Beautiful, magnificent and dancing. But you can never hold it. It's wild and unobtainable. The smoke rises like a velvety cloth fluttering in a mountain breeze. Everything is serene. I yearned for that but was left empty. After you've seen how sweet and blissful life can be - you can never feel whole again. You wander like a lost dog, looking for your next meal. But no one cares about you. They all seem to know each other's names and exist in a state devoid of pain. That pain which consumes you - the pain which you can never forget. You grow angry and hateful. Ironic that beauty and love has brought you anger and hatred. You grow cold, like a hermit you seek the deserts. Only to live in caves away from those who make you scoff and hate yourself. For years you drink the dew from the barren land's shrubs and eat locusts like the prophets of old. Slowly you fall apart - year after year you resemble a skeleton more than a man. Your beard is like falling icicles but bespeckled with eons old meals. Your mind is gone, and you forget who you were. Time has no meaning for you - you're lost in a state of delirium. Words have no more meaning and you seldom remember what the touch of another human is like. Your body is maligned. Your eyes are sunken and you walk with a limp. Anymore you only leave the comfort of the wet cold cave at night - to forage for scraps of carrion. An evening something appears to you. Although you long ago lost the ability to tell what is real from hallucination. A fire lights his eyes, somehow the fire reminds you of the soft breeze you felt one day on a long forgotten beach. Your limbs feel limber - like they have not felt in years. The voice of the blackened man shrieks out in resonant tones. You cannot understand - but it speaks true to the longing in your sunken charred heart. You writhe and twist - your muscles begin to twitch and the world grows dark and full of shadow. All at once you can feel no more pain - everything is gone. No more cold or heat - just a state of nothingness. And the desert is nothing, and the solitary figure appears as a young handsome man. He holds out his arms to embrace you. Long majestic white feathered wings extend from either side of him. As you approach him - he disappears, and with a resounding thunderclap the world is there again. But somehow you aren't. You're separated from it. Like a television program it appears you are just watching the things around you. You look at your arms and see your age spots are gone - and to your sides white wings. You feel again. But it's a strange feeling. It's the feeling of feeling yourself. Nothing about you has any sensation at all. You smile and soar - the wings are unsteady, but somehow you right yourself. Tumbling through the air like a hatchling you are filled with ecstasy. The wind throws back your long locks. The sky is a void like space and the ground a never ending white plateau. You've become something new. You see a city and tumble towards it. It appears familiar, but almost as if a hundred years have passed. The old bell tower is the same, but skyscrapers overshadow it on all sides. And then you see it. People. Those people who never brought you anything but pain. Your old hatred consumes you, and you fly at them at top speed. Falling from the heavens you crash into one with murder on your mind. But nothing! You pass through them. More blood thirsty than before you swipe at them - hoping to gash their eyes out. The humans look so grotesque - but you can't phase them. You shout out in rage, and for a moment one turns. He can hear you! You scream and shout right in his ear, hundreds of curses, but he seems to stop paying attention. You think - how you might hurt him. You whisper in his ear to jump in front of a passing bus, but he pays no heed. You follow him for weeks - suggesting he kill himself or hurt himself at every turn. But he never listens. You learn his schedule - you learn about his family - who he is, and his struggles. And you try something new. You suggest he does things that he already wants to do. As he is passing a prostitute you suggest he fucks her. His eyes light up - he wants it and you know it. You say it again and again. Take her...Take her... And he goes - he approaches her and sleeps with her. Joy rushes through your head! You've finally hurt him after all of this time. You're breaking him down. You exploit every vice. He begins to gamble and drink. He slowly loses everything. And then you move on. To one man, and the next. Destroying that whole race of pathetic people who destroyed you. Those who robbed you of humanity, now you have robbed of happiness. Many years later you meet one like you. He creeps about following a man. You follow him in the shadows - making sure not to be seen. He whispers into a man's ear. You approach him and he attacks you. He strikes you in the face and tears the flesh from your right hand. You try to fight him off, but you can't. You awake hours later, and in the future you stay away from others like you. For hundreds of years you destroy life after life. Until again you rest, you seek out the desert. To one day, perhaps, awake again.
Last edited by x65943,
