Lali ho...
Things were starting to look up for me. I had a conditional offer of employment, a girlfriend, the possibility of moving out into my own place, life was looking pretty fuckin' sweet. Well, it never quite pans out like that, does it? All at once all the good things I had going for me seem to have mysteriously fucked off. Here's the scoop.
- As most of you know, my offer of employment was based around acquiring various bits of paperwork for the HR department, proof that I'm not a terrorist since of course we all are until proven otherwise these days. I got all the paperwork they asked for, only for my bank to royally fuck me over by closing my account, meaning they have no way of paying me as the account has to be in my name, I can't pay it into another person's account due to some legal drivel. Of course I don't have a passport nor the finances to acquire one, so I can't set up a new bank account. Heaven forefend that a terrorist like me should be able to get a job, right? So it's looking pretty grim. My boss' patience is wearing understandably thin and if I don't sort something out pretty swiftly my offer of employment will be withdrawn, leaving me right back where I started, fucked over by paperwork yet again.
- I was sent a cheque for 100 pounds from Train2Game as compensation for the massive cockup they caused leaving my bank account overdrawn and causing the problems above. But as the account is locked, I can't pay the cheque in. Meaning I have to rely on cashing it in Cash Generators or somewhere, costing me a fair percentage in the process, to pay off this overdraft and leave me debt free. All this bloody red tape and regulations....RAAAAAGE!!
- Me and Jess appear to have broken up. She went up to Scotland to visit her uncle, he's sick in hospital, really not looking good. So she's decided that as she has no job and she's badly needed up there, she's staying until further notice. Which of course puts maintaining our relationship pretty much out of reach. It's not been spoken but I think the general understanding is that she's got too much to deal with right now to have a long distance relationship draining more of her energy. I guess I can respect that, she's leaving for something important instead of some other guy. We must of course all pursue what we think is right, and selfish though it may be we can't allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of those goals. So...I guess I'll just have to respect her decision and let her go. Doesn't stop it sucking, but at leats it's understandable.
- I was on the verge of moving in with a friend of mine, but he seems to have fallen in with a bad crowd. He's gone from being a decent guy to being a total douchebag pole smoker in the space of a week. Same old story, met some guys at college, starting using various chemicals of a dubious nature, turned into a smeg head. Evidently the fact that we've been best friends for nearly a decade doesn't mean jack when there are things to smoke. What a waste.
- My internet connection is shot to shit. I used to leech my next door neighbour's broadband. She was aware of the situation and never seemed to mind. But now she's upgraded to a faster connection with Sky, and as such there's various encryptions stopping me from connecting. The only other unsecured network in the area is of questionable stability and so weak my PSP won't acknowledge it at all, nor will my PS3, 360 or Wii. Only my laptop can access it, and even then it's slower than Paris Hilton's thought process. This sucks a lot of balls as it means not only are my visits to the 'temp rather limited, but I'm struggling to download anything larger than about 2MB so my PSP and DS are essentially stuck with whatever is on them now. Right before the new Harvest Moon game comes out too. For fuck sake...
- All this stress all at once has taken a rather hefty toll on me, leaving me pretty badly ill. I'll not give details, suffice to say I am rather unwell. Striking at the worst possible time, my 23rd birthday (yesterday) so I spent said birthday sick and miserable. Joy. My thanks go out to those of you who wished me a happy birthday though. Gave me a little boost that just barely kept me above the 'fuck it, commit suicide' mark.
So...yeah, life really blows chunks right now. I thought I was getting somewhere with work but no, bloody red tape has to interfere again. Accusing me of terrorism 'just in case' with this 'guilty until proven innocent' attitude the world seems to have developed since 9/11. Don't you stupid governmental fucks get it? That rampant paranoia is exactly what they want. We turn on ourselves to the point where eventually someone like me is gonna snap and start a revolt. Probably not me personally since I am above all else a lazy bastard, but you get the idea. No reason for more terrorist attacks when we're perfectly content to tear ourselves apart in idiotic fear. What a sorry time to be a human being.
However in the style of Russel Howard's Good News, I feel it necessary to end on an 'It's not all doom and gloom' story. So here's what precious little good news I could scrape together.
- I finally gave in to my childish desires and bought a cuddly chocobo off eBay. Call me whatever you want. I don't have to justify myself. I want a cuddly chocobo. That's all there is to it. Won't arrive for more than two weeks though 'cause it's coming from Tokyo. Shame. But to be fair it was a bargain. 20 quid including delivery for a rare black chocobo, official Banpresto one, as new. Added bonus my dad gave me 20 quid for my birthday so I didn't even need to cut into my savings to buy it. Even though the wait is killing me (hence why I detest eBay) it's nice to know I have it on the way.
- Even though this job has gone pear shaped, there's more work out there. So if it all goes completely tits up and the boss loses patience with all this paperwork (and who can blame him, really?) then I'll just go for something else. One of the game stores in town showed great interest in me. Called me to ask if I was still looking for work a few days ago. Said they'd call me in for an interview once they'd nailed down the final few they would consider employing, got a lot of others to consider so it might take a while but at least I'm in the running.
- Since Jess and I are in all probability not going to be able to work this out, I guess I should keep in mind that I know quite a few pretty ladies. In fact of all the non-relatives to say happy birthday to me yesterday, only two were guys. Everyone else was a girl between 19-23. I can live with being that popular
- I'm still me. Much as my low social status and financial predicaments totally suck balls, I as a person still kick an extraordinary ammount of ass. That's about all I need. I'm still devilishly handsome if my growing collection of gorgeous lady friends is any way to judge, I'm still intelligent enough to realise that though this particular job seems to be going sour, I was offered work so I can't be the unemployable wretch my family seems to see me as, I'm still dedicated to pursuing my dream of joining the gaming industry, either as a games designer or a journalist, either suits me. Basically I still rule no matter what wank the world seems to get. I still stand tall. Sure, I piss and moan like I'm PMSing, but this is just me venting a little rage before it bottles up and causes serious mental health issues. I still know that I'm capable of performing a Blaze brand trick shot and reversing my fortunes. I do it all the time.
So there you have it, the latest news from casa Blaze. Life sucks, but I'm still able to turn things around. By virtue of being me. It's what I do. I'm the guy who finds out two hours before a critical exam that 55% of the marks are on a subject I never studied and yet still somehow pass with a decent grade. The person who was left to die on a doorstep and somehow found a way to turn it into an opportunity to spend two years surrounded by cute girls. Hell, even death couldn't keep me down. Stabbed in the chest and actually died in hospital, had to be revived. My party trick is coming back from the dead. I somehow doubt the increasing irritations of the red tape brigade are much of a problem compared to that.
And if nothing else the new Harvest Moon game is out in a few days for me to steal, that should drown out the stress for a day or two.
Things were starting to look up for me. I had a conditional offer of employment, a girlfriend, the possibility of moving out into my own place, life was looking pretty fuckin' sweet. Well, it never quite pans out like that, does it? All at once all the good things I had going for me seem to have mysteriously fucked off. Here's the scoop.
- As most of you know, my offer of employment was based around acquiring various bits of paperwork for the HR department, proof that I'm not a terrorist since of course we all are until proven otherwise these days. I got all the paperwork they asked for, only for my bank to royally fuck me over by closing my account, meaning they have no way of paying me as the account has to be in my name, I can't pay it into another person's account due to some legal drivel. Of course I don't have a passport nor the finances to acquire one, so I can't set up a new bank account. Heaven forefend that a terrorist like me should be able to get a job, right? So it's looking pretty grim. My boss' patience is wearing understandably thin and if I don't sort something out pretty swiftly my offer of employment will be withdrawn, leaving me right back where I started, fucked over by paperwork yet again.
- I was sent a cheque for 100 pounds from Train2Game as compensation for the massive cockup they caused leaving my bank account overdrawn and causing the problems above. But as the account is locked, I can't pay the cheque in. Meaning I have to rely on cashing it in Cash Generators or somewhere, costing me a fair percentage in the process, to pay off this overdraft and leave me debt free. All this bloody red tape and regulations....RAAAAAGE!!
- Me and Jess appear to have broken up. She went up to Scotland to visit her uncle, he's sick in hospital, really not looking good. So she's decided that as she has no job and she's badly needed up there, she's staying until further notice. Which of course puts maintaining our relationship pretty much out of reach. It's not been spoken but I think the general understanding is that she's got too much to deal with right now to have a long distance relationship draining more of her energy. I guess I can respect that, she's leaving for something important instead of some other guy. We must of course all pursue what we think is right, and selfish though it may be we can't allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of those goals. So...I guess I'll just have to respect her decision and let her go. Doesn't stop it sucking, but at leats it's understandable.
- I was on the verge of moving in with a friend of mine, but he seems to have fallen in with a bad crowd. He's gone from being a decent guy to being a total douchebag pole smoker in the space of a week. Same old story, met some guys at college, starting using various chemicals of a dubious nature, turned into a smeg head. Evidently the fact that we've been best friends for nearly a decade doesn't mean jack when there are things to smoke. What a waste.
- My internet connection is shot to shit. I used to leech my next door neighbour's broadband. She was aware of the situation and never seemed to mind. But now she's upgraded to a faster connection with Sky, and as such there's various encryptions stopping me from connecting. The only other unsecured network in the area is of questionable stability and so weak my PSP won't acknowledge it at all, nor will my PS3, 360 or Wii. Only my laptop can access it, and even then it's slower than Paris Hilton's thought process. This sucks a lot of balls as it means not only are my visits to the 'temp rather limited, but I'm struggling to download anything larger than about 2MB so my PSP and DS are essentially stuck with whatever is on them now. Right before the new Harvest Moon game comes out too. For fuck sake...
- All this stress all at once has taken a rather hefty toll on me, leaving me pretty badly ill. I'll not give details, suffice to say I am rather unwell. Striking at the worst possible time, my 23rd birthday (yesterday) so I spent said birthday sick and miserable. Joy. My thanks go out to those of you who wished me a happy birthday though. Gave me a little boost that just barely kept me above the 'fuck it, commit suicide' mark.
So...yeah, life really blows chunks right now. I thought I was getting somewhere with work but no, bloody red tape has to interfere again. Accusing me of terrorism 'just in case' with this 'guilty until proven innocent' attitude the world seems to have developed since 9/11. Don't you stupid governmental fucks get it? That rampant paranoia is exactly what they want. We turn on ourselves to the point where eventually someone like me is gonna snap and start a revolt. Probably not me personally since I am above all else a lazy bastard, but you get the idea. No reason for more terrorist attacks when we're perfectly content to tear ourselves apart in idiotic fear. What a sorry time to be a human being.
However in the style of Russel Howard's Good News, I feel it necessary to end on an 'It's not all doom and gloom' story. So here's what precious little good news I could scrape together.
- I finally gave in to my childish desires and bought a cuddly chocobo off eBay. Call me whatever you want. I don't have to justify myself. I want a cuddly chocobo. That's all there is to it. Won't arrive for more than two weeks though 'cause it's coming from Tokyo. Shame. But to be fair it was a bargain. 20 quid including delivery for a rare black chocobo, official Banpresto one, as new. Added bonus my dad gave me 20 quid for my birthday so I didn't even need to cut into my savings to buy it. Even though the wait is killing me (hence why I detest eBay) it's nice to know I have it on the way.
- Even though this job has gone pear shaped, there's more work out there. So if it all goes completely tits up and the boss loses patience with all this paperwork (and who can blame him, really?) then I'll just go for something else. One of the game stores in town showed great interest in me. Called me to ask if I was still looking for work a few days ago. Said they'd call me in for an interview once they'd nailed down the final few they would consider employing, got a lot of others to consider so it might take a while but at least I'm in the running.
- Since Jess and I are in all probability not going to be able to work this out, I guess I should keep in mind that I know quite a few pretty ladies. In fact of all the non-relatives to say happy birthday to me yesterday, only two were guys. Everyone else was a girl between 19-23. I can live with being that popular
- I'm still me. Much as my low social status and financial predicaments totally suck balls, I as a person still kick an extraordinary ammount of ass. That's about all I need. I'm still devilishly handsome if my growing collection of gorgeous lady friends is any way to judge, I'm still intelligent enough to realise that though this particular job seems to be going sour, I was offered work so I can't be the unemployable wretch my family seems to see me as, I'm still dedicated to pursuing my dream of joining the gaming industry, either as a games designer or a journalist, either suits me. Basically I still rule no matter what wank the world seems to get. I still stand tall. Sure, I piss and moan like I'm PMSing, but this is just me venting a little rage before it bottles up and causes serious mental health issues. I still know that I'm capable of performing a Blaze brand trick shot and reversing my fortunes. I do it all the time.
So there you have it, the latest news from casa Blaze. Life sucks, but I'm still able to turn things around. By virtue of being me. It's what I do. I'm the guy who finds out two hours before a critical exam that 55% of the marks are on a subject I never studied and yet still somehow pass with a decent grade. The person who was left to die on a doorstep and somehow found a way to turn it into an opportunity to spend two years surrounded by cute girls. Hell, even death couldn't keep me down. Stabbed in the chest and actually died in hospital, had to be revived. My party trick is coming back from the dead. I somehow doubt the increasing irritations of the red tape brigade are much of a problem compared to that.
And if nothing else the new Harvest Moon game is out in a few days for me to steal, that should drown out the stress for a day or two.
