Anybody mind explaining to me why we need to "nourish" hair?

[Sketchy1]

Seriousley why do shampoo bottles always say something like
"Revitalizes hair" " keeps hair nourished"

From what school has taught me, hair is made up of dead cells that grow out of the folicle. So your telling me i must restore "bounce and shine" to something thats dead??

This is like me digging up my great grandma like "bitch sit up u need your vitamin c"

Why the heck do they say nourish rather than cleans/brightens or something?

 

[Noctosphere]

dkdc

 

[Seriel]

google it

 

[drenal]

Now I'm getting these ads

 

[H1B1Esquire]

Shampoo doesn't really clean or brighten your hair, so they can't say anything besides buzz words. Rinsing and repeating is the real winner.

 

[Sketchy1]

View attachment 104148
Now I'm getting these ads

you get the least of it

 

[drenal]

View attachment 104158


you get the least of it

i think they're trying to tell you something

 

[Sketchy1]

i think they're trying to tell you something

NO

 

[drenal]

NO

yes

 

[Sketchy1]

yes

NO IM A GOOD BOY

 

[drenal]

NO IM A GOOD BOY

No you're not

 

[Mr_Reaper]

Yes, that's right, your hair is dead.
And if you don't provide nourishment to it, it will start hungering brains, like many dead things do, especially at this time of year.
If you don't provide enough nourishment for your hair from the shampoo, then, while you are sleeping, your malnourished hair will slowly creep into your ears, nose, and mouth, and seek out your juicy brain.... Or maybe it will seek out the brain of the person you are sleeping next to....

So if you wake up and your hair looks all messed up, it's not bedhead -- it's because your hair has been wiggling around all night, crawling into your face holes, slurping down brain juice. That's why you feel so foggy-headed when you first wake up too. And if you ever wake up with hair in your mouth, that's a sure sign your hair has been entering your mouth while you sleep to try and get to your brain....

The only sure prevention is to cut your hair very short so it can't reach any orifices.
Or, for heaven's sake, don't skimp out on the nourishing shampoo!! Do you really want to take that chance??

Well, one other solution it to plug your ears, nose, and mouth while you sleep, so that hair can't get in, and be sure you don't sleep with your head next to anyone else. Well, at least not within hair-range of their head orifices. I mean, you can reverse your sleeping position and sleep with your head near their butt instead of their head, but then your hair might still attempt to seek brains, and go in the wrong orifice, and then you'll wake up with smelly hair.... So really, the best solution is to use the damn shampoo to nourish your hair!

True fact: the so-called "propylene glycol" ingredient you find in shampoo is actually brain cells.

You don't believe me? Consider this!

propylene glycol is an anagram for "lop pony grey cell" because they produce it by harvesting the brains (grey cells) of ponies after lopping off their heads!

They do this and put it into shampoo to make sure your hair stays nourished with brain juice so it doesn't go full-on undead brain-eater on you while you sleep. Go ahead and look at your bottle of shampoo, and you will see it has this ingredient! The government started doing this after the terrible unwashed hippie hair attack back in the 60s.... Before that, they used to try and combat the problem with the short "pixie" haircuts and separate beds in the 50s, but once the hippies came along with their long hair and communal sleeping, that was no longer an option, so the CIA came up with the pony brain additive for all shampoo....


YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Wash your hair or face the consequences!!!!

 

[ThoD]

Yes, that's right, your hair is dead.
And if you don't provide nourishment to it, it will start hungering brains, like many dead things do, especially at this time of year.
If you don't provide enough nourishment for your hair from the shampoo, then, while you are sleeping, your malnourished hair will slowly creep into your ears, nose, and mouth, and seek out your juicy brain.... Or maybe it will seek out the brain of the person you are sleeping next to....

So if you wake up and your hair looks all messed up, it's not bedhead -- it's because your hair has been wiggling around all night, crawling into your face holes, slurping down brain juice. That's why you feel so foggy-headed when you first wake up too. And if you ever wake up with hair in your mouth, that's a sure sign your hair has been entering your mouth while you sleep to try and get to your brain....

The only sure prevention is to cut your hair very short so it can't reach any orifices.
Or, for heaven's sake, don't skimp out on the nourishing shampoo!! Do you really want to take that chance??

Well, one other solution it to plug your ears, nose, and mouth while you sleep, so that hair can't get in, and be sure you don't sleep with your head next to anyone else. Well, at least not within hair-range of their head orifices. I mean, you can reverse your sleeping position and sleep with your head near their butt instead of their head, but then your hair might still attempt to seek brains, and go in the wrong orifice, and then you'll wake up with smelly hair.... So really, the best solution is to use the damn shampoo to nourish your hair!

True fact: the so-called "propylene glycol" ingredient you find in shampoo is actually brain cells.

You don't believe me? Consider this!

propylene glycol is an anagram for "lop pony grey cell" because they produce it by harvesting the brains (grey cells) of ponies after lopping off their heads!

They do this and put it into shampoo to make sure your hair stays nourished with brain juice so it doesn't go full-on undead brain-eater on you while you sleep. Go ahead and look at your bottle of shampoo, and you will see it has this ingredient! The government started doing this after the terrible unwashed hippie hair attack back in the 60s.... Before that, they used to try and combat the problem with the short "pixie" haircuts and separate beds in the 50s, but once the hippies came along with their long hair and communal sleeping, that was no longer an option, so the CIA came up with the pony brain additive for all shampoo....


YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Wash your hair or face the consequences!!!!

I couldn't decide if you were joking, trolling or being honestly idiotic

Anyway, here's the real reason shampoo bottles/ads have such words on them:
The hair dies and dries up, that also means it doesn't produce the oils it needs to until the dead cells are cleaned off. When you use a normal shampoo, the dead cells go away and the hair is cleaned, then it repairs itself and produces new oil (which is a good thing despite what people think). When you use one of those fancy shampoos that do all that revitalizing or whatever, it's the same thing, but rather than letting the hair repair itself and produce natural good oils, part of the shampoo stays on the hair in the sockets where the dead cells were, as if it's patching up the holes, and comes with artificial oils. That means that the hair won't repair itself, it won't produce natural oil (which makes the hair soft) and basically acts like a sort of cell glue keeping the hair together. Sure, after a long time, the hair will still repairing itself to some degree, but if you stop using those shampoos, you will see how your hair will get really brittle, perhaps you may even lose some hairs (which unsurprisingly is a common thing for many women) and so on until the natural repairing of the hair kicks back in. Because the artificial oils harden the hair, they also force you to pay for stuff like conditioners and that crap. Just get a cheap shampoo or even plain old soap and you won't have any problems with hair for your entire life, unless you have genetic baldness or something like that!

 

[The Real Jdbye]

I couldn't decide if you were joking, trolling or being honestly idiotic

Anyway, here's the real reason shampoo bottles/ads have such words on them:
The hair dies and dries up, that also means it doesn't produce the oils it needs to until the dead cells are cleaned off. When you use a normal shampoo, the dead cells go away and the hair is cleaned, then it repairs itself and produces new oil (which is a good thing despite what people think). When you use one of those fancy shampoos that do all that revitalizing or whatever, it's the same thing, but rather than letting the hair repair itself and produce natural good oils, part of the shampoo stays on the hair in the sockets where the dead cells were, as if it's patching up the holes, and comes with artificial oils. That means that the hair won't repair itself, it won't produce natural oil (which makes the hair soft) and basically acts like a sort of cell glue keeping the hair together. Sure, after a long time, the hair will still repairing itself to some degree, but if you stop using those shampoos, you will see how your hair will get really brittle, perhaps you may even lose some hairs (which unsurprisingly is a common thing for many women) and so on until the natural repairing of the hair kicks back in. Because the artificial oils harden the hair, they also force you to pay for stuff like conditioners and that crap. Just get a cheap shampoo or even plain old soap and you won't have any problems with hair for your entire life, unless you have genetic baldness or something like that!

What about people like me who have issues with dandruff/dry scalp? We can't really use cheap shampoo unless we want it to snow from our heads.

 

[EthanAddict]

Yes, that's right, your hair is dead.
And if you don't provide nourishment to it, it will start hungering brains, like many dead things do, especially at this time of year.
If you don't provide enough nourishment for your hair from the shampoo, then, while you are sleeping, your malnourished hair will slowly creep into your ears, nose, and mouth, and seek out your juicy brain.... Or maybe it will seek out the brain of the person you are sleeping next to....

So if you wake up and your hair looks all messed up, it's not bedhead -- it's because your hair has been wiggling around all night, crawling into your face holes, slurping down brain juice. That's why you feel so foggy-headed when you first wake up too. And if you ever wake up with hair in your mouth, that's a sure sign your hair has been entering your mouth while you sleep to try and get to your brain....

The only sure prevention is to cut your hair very short so it can't reach any orifices.
Or, for heaven's sake, don't skimp out on the nourishing shampoo!! Do you really want to take that chance??

Well, one other solution it to plug your ears, nose, and mouth while you sleep, so that hair can't get in, and be sure you don't sleep with your head next to anyone else. Well, at least not within hair-range of their head orifices. I mean, you can reverse your sleeping position and sleep with your head near their butt instead of their head, but then your hair might still attempt to seek brains, and go in the wrong orifice, and then you'll wake up with smelly hair.... So really, the best solution is to use the damn shampoo to nourish your hair!

True fact: the so-called "propylene glycol" ingredient you find in shampoo is actually brain cells.

You don't believe me? Consider this!

propylene glycol is an anagram for "lop pony grey cell" because they produce it by harvesting the brains (grey cells) of ponies after lopping off their heads!

They do this and put it into shampoo to make sure your hair stays nourished with brain juice so it doesn't go full-on undead brain-eater on you while you sleep. Go ahead and look at your bottle of shampoo, and you will see it has this ingredient! The government started doing this after the terrible unwashed hippie hair attack back in the 60s.... Before that, they used to try and combat the problem with the short "pixie" haircuts and separate beds in the 50s, but once the hippies came along with their long hair and communal sleeping, that was no longer an option, so the CIA came up with the pony brain additive for all shampoo....


YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Wash your hair or face the consequences!!!!

Zombie hair, they are coming for you

 

[ThoD]

What about people like me who have issues with dandruff/dry scalp? We can't really use cheap shampoo unless we want it to snow from our heads.

Anti-dandruff shampoo is different, I was talking about the fancy shampoos women use. I got dry scalp too btw... Anyway, anti-dandruff one has a moisturizer inside that sits on the scalp rather than hair when showering, greatly lowering the amount of VISIBLE dandruff (the flakes) since less is produced as the skin is less dry and less craggy, however, it doesn't stop it completely.

 

[migles]

Yes, that's right, your hair is dead.
And if you don't provide nourishment to it, it will start hungering brains, like many dead things do, especially at this time of year.
If you don't provide enough nourishment for your hair from the shampoo, then, while you are sleeping, your malnourished hair will slowly creep into your ears, nose, and mouth, and seek out your juicy brain.... Or maybe it will seek out the brain of the person you are sleeping next to....

So if you wake up and your hair looks all messed up, it's not bedhead -- it's because your hair has been wiggling around all night, crawling into your face holes, slurping down brain juice. That's why you feel so foggy-headed when you first wake up too. And if you ever wake up with hair in your mouth, that's a sure sign your hair has been entering your mouth while you sleep to try and get to your brain....

The only sure prevention is to cut your hair very short so it can't reach any orifices.
Or, for heaven's sake, don't skimp out on the nourishing shampoo!! Do you really want to take that chance??

Well, one other solution it to plug your ears, nose, and mouth while you sleep, so that hair can't get in, and be sure you don't sleep with your head next to anyone else. Well, at least not within hair-range of their head orifices. I mean, you can reverse your sleeping position and sleep with your head near their butt instead of their head, but then your hair might still attempt to seek brains, and go in the wrong orifice, and then you'll wake up with smelly hair.... So really, the best solution is to use the damn shampoo to nourish your hair!

True fact: the so-called "propylene glycol" ingredient you find in shampoo is actually brain cells.

You don't believe me? Consider this!

propylene glycol is an anagram for "lop pony grey cell" because they produce it by harvesting the brains (grey cells) of ponies after lopping off their heads!

They do this and put it into shampoo to make sure your hair stays nourished with brain juice so it doesn't go full-on undead brain-eater on you while you sleep. Go ahead and look at your bottle of shampoo, and you will see it has this ingredient! The government started doing this after the terrible unwashed hippie hair attack back in the 60s.... Before that, they used to try and combat the problem with the short "pixie" haircuts and separate beds in the 50s, but once the hippies came along with their long hair and communal sleeping, that was no longer an option, so the CIA came up with the pony brain additive for all shampoo....


YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Wash your hair or face the consequences!!!!

gbatemp gold
by a member that joined a month ago
i like you.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

What about people like me who have issues with dandruff/dry scalp? We can't really use cheap shampoo unless we want it to snow from our heads.

ok seriously, when i wash my hair with dandruff remover shampoo it's when the dandruff starts to really appear i am pulling some conspiracy theory here about dandruff being dry shampoo leftovers and it's all a scam

True fact: the so-called "propylene glycol" ingredient you find in shampoo is actually brain cells.

You don't believe me? Consider this!

propylene glycol is an anagram for "lop pony grey cell" because they produce it by harvesting the brains (grey cells) of ponies after lopping off their heads!

so dandruff is the white cells leftovers of the ponie's brain trying to get free and reproduce to evolve into an angry pony again and get their revenge on human race?

 

[Mr_Reaper]

Anyway, here's the real reason shampoo bottles/ads have such words on them:

Oh, you poor, naive soul.... *pats your head*
As long as you keep using the shampoo, for whatever reason you were taught to believe, then you'll be fine, even if you don't know the truth about zombie hair.

gbatemp gold
by a member that joined a month ago
i like you.

*adjusts monocle and looks closely*

Now, you say you like me...
And yet I am not seeing a "like" coming from your account. Hmmmmmm.

so dandruff is the white cells leftovers of the ponie's brain trying to get free and reproduce to evolve into an angry pony again and get their revenge on human race?

Hey now, don't confuse the issue with your crazy conspiracy theories!
Zombie hair is a serious issue....

 

[drenal]

Oh, you poor, naive soul.... *pats your head*
As long as you keep using the shampoo, for whatever reason you were taught to believe, then you'll be fine, even if you don't know the truth about zombie hair.



*adjusts monocle and looks closely*

Now, you say you like me...
And yet I am not seeing a "like" coming from your account. Hmmmmmm.




Hey now, don't confuse the issue with your crazy conspiracy theories!
Zombie hair is a serious issue....

I don't have zombie hair tho

 

[EthanAddict]

even if you don't know the truth about zombie hair

I knew it