[GAME] Break above user's awesomeness

Noctosphere

Nova's Guardian
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In this game, you will share something to impress us (not necesseraly true) and the user under you will have to break it, to turn it into something ridiculous.
For example, if I say, I'm in the guiness record book
the user under me could say : For the smallest penis in the world.
Do it in this order, first break above user'S awesomeness, next, share your (fake) awesomeness

So I begin

"Nothing to break"

My girlfriend is a sex machine
 

VinsCool

Persona Secretiva Felineus
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The other two that aren't English are made up.

I can manually pull feces out of myself and not make a mess.
But you always use too much paper, and block the toilet for the next user.

I can cook, and I do that very well.
 

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