Welcome to thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition, where you, the GBATemp users, vote on what you think the worst console ever made is. Each week I will pit the individual generation's consoles against their contemporaries. We'll whittle down the generations after which we finally pit the 'winners' against each other to determine GBATemps least preferred console!
Recap:
What a wonderful first round!
The winner of Round 1 with 6 votes is The Nintendo Color TV Game! Congratulations Nintendo. I suspect your victory arises from general ire for not having released these Japan-only systems State/Europe-side. And who could blame them? That was a dick move Nintendo.
For more information, check the thread out here.
Intro:
So now we move into the Second Generation of Consoles. This generation was so bad the video game market had to implode to save us consumers from the badness. Thanks, video game industry. We owe you one.
So, before we go to the next round, why not recap the rules no one ever reads?
Rules:
Enough of that crap, time to get started!
This Week's Challengers:
The Atari 2600
Sound was apparently an afterthought for this console as it would make horrible farting noises seemingly at random. And the games! My god, the games! If it wasn't sub-par arcade ports it was meaningless abstract games that were nigh impossible to play. And don't get me started on shameless movie-tie ins that are tangentially related to the movie's plot/setting/etc..
Luckily for us Atari's lack of standards in games led to the crash of '83 that highlighted that very issue.
The Fairchild Channel F
The Fairchild Channel F is a dumb name. Just gonna put that out there.
This wonderful machine could display up to 8 amazing colours. The games... were exactly what you'd expect. And it's clear that people were still trying to figure out just how to make controllers as the Fairchild's controller was often described as a joystick without a base.
Around the time of the crash they released a second model, but it failed to capture the hearts and minds of the public for some reason...
The Magnavox Odyssey^2
Above is the European model, I believe.
This thing struggled against the popularity of the 2600. That led to the system having very little third party support. Despite its predecessors success, Magnavox was unable to support themselves primarily with first party software like a certain modern company does.
Magnavox tried to market it as a personal computer-like device, but that was a hard sell from something who's primary function was a toy.
The Intellivision
This was one of those consoles that highlighted just how behind in the times the 2600 was. The only problem was that it was too little too late.
The 'Intelligent Television' flourished for a little while, but it was clear that the market was saturated a few years in. It had a number of games that probably would have sold well if it weren't for that pesky crash I keep talking about...
And that number pad controller - god those were ugly! I think that's the reason for the crash right there.
The Colecovision
Two consoles with 'vision' in their name? I guess it could have been worse... like The Fairchild Channel F.
The Colecovision was a step up from its Telstar series in the looks department (not that that is saying much) and it had superior arcade ports over the 2600 (something that was a big deal back then), but after a failed personal computer-like adapter this would be Coleco's last contribution to the console wars. The crash of '83 was pretty tough on all of us.
While the games may have seemed better than the 2600 a lot of them were no better gameplay-wise. And that controller... I'll never understand why number pads on the controllers were desirable.
The Atari 5200
Larger than an original Xbox, that thing is.
If you know anything about the 5200, released in 1982, it's that it was a rapid successor to the 2600, released in 1977. This was a market that wasn't used to replacing technology so rapidly. And to make matters worse it was, initially anyway, NOT backwards compatible - confusing consumers to no end.
Its bastard of a controller wasn't much help either. This wouldn't be the last time Atari put a number pad on their console... You'd think they would have learned?
Outro:
"Video game crash of '83 video game crash of '83 video game crash of '83. You sound like a broken record thaddius!" But it was important, guys. I don't envy you voters. If there was a poll for worst console generation I'd be surprised if the second didn't win. Sadly there's no Nintendo consoles to kick around this time, but at least you'll be able to share AVGN vids and discuss the finer points of number pad based controllers.
This poll will close next Thursday. Please remember to vote by then!
Current Standings:
Recap:
What a wonderful first round!
The winner of Round 1 with 6 votes is The Nintendo Color TV Game! Congratulations Nintendo. I suspect your victory arises from general ire for not having released these Japan-only systems State/Europe-side. And who could blame them? That was a dick move Nintendo.
For more information, check the thread out here.
Intro:
So now we move into the Second Generation of Consoles. This generation was so bad the video game market had to implode to save us consumers from the badness. Thanks, video game industry. We owe you one.
So, before we go to the next round, why not recap the rules no one ever reads?
Rules:
There can only be one!
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Thursday from now till the end.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Miss GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Thursday from now till the end.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Miss GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
This Week's Challengers:
The Atari 2600
Sound was apparently an afterthought for this console as it would make horrible farting noises seemingly at random. And the games! My god, the games! If it wasn't sub-par arcade ports it was meaningless abstract games that were nigh impossible to play. And don't get me started on shameless movie-tie ins that are tangentially related to the movie's plot/setting/etc..
Luckily for us Atari's lack of standards in games led to the crash of '83 that highlighted that very issue.
The Fairchild Channel F
The Fairchild Channel F is a dumb name. Just gonna put that out there.
This wonderful machine could display up to 8 amazing colours. The games... were exactly what you'd expect. And it's clear that people were still trying to figure out just how to make controllers as the Fairchild's controller was often described as a joystick without a base.
Around the time of the crash they released a second model, but it failed to capture the hearts and minds of the public for some reason...
The Magnavox Odyssey^2
Above is the European model, I believe.
This thing struggled against the popularity of the 2600. That led to the system having very little third party support. Despite its predecessors success, Magnavox was unable to support themselves primarily with first party software like a certain modern company does.
Magnavox tried to market it as a personal computer-like device, but that was a hard sell from something who's primary function was a toy.
The Intellivision
This was one of those consoles that highlighted just how behind in the times the 2600 was. The only problem was that it was too little too late.
The 'Intelligent Television' flourished for a little while, but it was clear that the market was saturated a few years in. It had a number of games that probably would have sold well if it weren't for that pesky crash I keep talking about...
And that number pad controller - god those were ugly! I think that's the reason for the crash right there.
The Colecovision
Two consoles with 'vision' in their name? I guess it could have been worse... like The Fairchild Channel F.
The Colecovision was a step up from its Telstar series in the looks department (not that that is saying much) and it had superior arcade ports over the 2600 (something that was a big deal back then), but after a failed personal computer-like adapter this would be Coleco's last contribution to the console wars. The crash of '83 was pretty tough on all of us.
While the games may have seemed better than the 2600 a lot of them were no better gameplay-wise. And that controller... I'll never understand why number pads on the controllers were desirable.
The Atari 5200
Larger than an original Xbox, that thing is.
If you know anything about the 5200, released in 1982, it's that it was a rapid successor to the 2600, released in 1977. This was a market that wasn't used to replacing technology so rapidly. And to make matters worse it was, initially anyway, NOT backwards compatible - confusing consumers to no end.
Its bastard of a controller wasn't much help either. This wouldn't be the last time Atari put a number pad on their console... You'd think they would have learned?
Outro:
"Video game crash of '83 video game crash of '83 video game crash of '83. You sound like a broken record thaddius!" But it was important, guys. I don't envy you voters. If there was a poll for worst console generation I'd be surprised if the second didn't win. Sadly there's no Nintendo consoles to kick around this time, but at least you'll be able to share AVGN vids and discuss the finer points of number pad based controllers.
This poll will close next Thursday. Please remember to vote by then!
Current Standings:
Round 1 'winner': The Nintendo Color TV Game
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