Unbearable Movies

[ProtoKun7]

H2G2 in terms of continuity within the series

There is no "continuity". In fact, Douglas Adams once said that he deliberately went out of his way to make sure that every iteration conflicted with every other iteration. So if the movie were to fit into any other continuity (the book, the radio series, the TV series, the stage show, the comic, the LP album, the computer game, and the towel), it wouldn't be a true Hitchhiker movie.

*Engages Somebody Else's Problem field*

Sorry, did you say something?

 

[Evo.lve]

Once rented Eragon. Watched 3 minutes, was like, "fuck this", tada.

I actually liked the Twilight books, but the movies are horrible.

 

[Weaselpipe]

There's Something About Mary.

Agreed, though I did sit through the whole thing I found that the funny bits, though very funny, were all spread out with 20 minutes of humourless build up between them.

Recently saw 'Alexander' on tv, and it is truly woeful. It makes Troy look like a laugh a minute action romp. Colin Farrell is Alexander so the production team have gone 'everybody else do an Irish accent, regardless of how bad you are at it. It will make it look more authentic or something'. All it does is make a very big cast all look like blokes in a pub telling poor jokes about leprechauns.

Oh, and Anjelina Jolie is his mother even though she looks a few years younger than him. Dumb casting decision.

The two overblown sequels to the Matrix were unwatchable, the whole thing was like watching somebody you don't like doing quite well at an Xbox 360 game to which you are indifferent

 

[ShadowSoldier]

The two overblown sequels to the Matrix were unwatchable, the whole thing was like watching somebody you don't like doing quite well at an Xbox 360 game to which you are indifferent

I only like the fighting scenes because they were cool to watch for mindless fun.

 

[Hielkenator]

We'll here's another: BAD TASTE...yes from Peter Jackson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhkb0XzKkNU

LOL I love that film, just recently re-watched actually. Brain Dead/Dead Alive is definitely better tho.

Yeah! BRAIN DEAD!
Loved the fact that the most time went in to the stock motion animations, lol. ( EVIL RADIOACTIVE RAT THING )
Man those were the days of REAL special effects!

 

[Jamstruth]

Only film I've considered walking out on in the cinema is "Transformers 2" because that movie blew so many chunks. I might have fallen asleep if it weren't for the CONSTANT EXPLOSIONS!!! The damned seats kept shaking all the time in the immensely long climax seen of people firing in the desert. The comic relief was so unfunny it wasn't true. The 2 racist bots got on my nerves the moment I saw them. The start was complete bullshit too, the government covered up that huge, public fight scene in the middle of a city? WTF?!?!?!
Never mention that movie to me or I will rant for HOURS about it.

Clash of the Titans is another movie I wouldn't like to see again because it was just a bit bland and boring. Its not unbearable but it was fairly rubbish and not much seemed to happen in it.

 

[SubliminalSegue]

Only film I've considered walking out on in the cinema is "Transformers 2"

This.

I'd say Inception.

 

[ShadowSoldier]

I'd say Inception.

And I'd say you were trolling.

 

[antwill]

Star Wars.

 

[Weaselpipe]

Saw it mentioned earlier- both Pirates of the Carribean sequels.

Like the 2 Matrix sequels, a conversation has occurred like this...
'That was popular, let's make it each sequel 3 hours long'
'But we haven't really got the material or writing skills for that....'
'Yeah but 3 hour films are the in thing right now, people with little scope will call them epics'
'All I can suggest is that we pad out each installment with footage of the main characters travelling and not doing much else'
'Wait, why don't we have a pointless fight scene every now and again and just keep it going for as long as possible?'
'So in the Matrix, Neo could, say, get to where he wants to go and then just when you think the film is about to end a little oriental guy says "you cannot finish this film until after 35 minutes of Kung Fu" and then- get this- it turns out they are on the same side!'
'Awesome! I like that plan, what about having a bit in one of the Pirates movies where the 3 main characters- after deciding to help one another- inexplicably decide to have a 3 way sword fight on a waterwheel. For what feels like an hour'
'We are SO good at film'
etc etc

 

[Crass]

Star Wars.

The original trilogy are classics, and will always be one of my favorite movie series of all time. But the newer prequel trilogy were fucking awful. If you haven't watched the redlettermedia reviews for the first 2 (revenge of the sith review coming soon too!) then you should definitely give it a watch. Nearly as long as the film itself, but twice as entertaining!

 

[Densetsu]

Battlefield Earth

 

[mrfatso]

Avatar - The Air Bender

 

[Jasonese]

Napoleon Dynamite, that movie left me traumatized...I'm going back to the corner now...

 

[Tanas]

Fell asleep while watching Shrek 2, Ice age 2, Batman 2 and had to turn off Bad Boys 2.

 

[granville]

I've never walked out of a theater due to a movie being horrible (i've not seen many truly horrid movies IN a theater). But in terms of movies i regret watching-

- Eragon (actually enjoyed the book, despite it ripping everything off)
- Transformers 2 (first wasn't that bad, i've no experience with any other Transformers stuff)
- Shrek 3 and 4 (first two are great)
- Bolt (sorry fans, couldn't stand it)
- Catwoman (boredom and lack of tv channels can be a burden)
- Inspector Gadget

I'm also inclined to dislike the new Alice in Wonderland. I want to see it again to make a full judgement, but it didn't really impress me the first time watching.

 

[BORTZ]

So basically any movie without bears?

 

[ShadowSoldier]

- Transformers 2 (first wasn't that bad, i've no experience with any other Transformers stuff)
- Shrek 3 and 4 (first two are great)

Transformers 2 was very forgettable. The only good scene in that movie I though, was when Optimus was in that forest area by himself fighting the multiple Decepticons, and he was putting up a good fighting, pulling off some cool moves, but still. Compare it to the Wow factor of the first, and it simply falls way too short.

Also, I never seen Shrek 4, but I seen Shrek 3 with my friend for his little brother's birthday, just walked into it not having any expectations, it was a pretty enjoyable film. Not as good as the first two at all, but still good to watch to just waste time.

 

[Rogue Trader]

I walked out of Meet the Spartans- I don't know why I went to see it in the first place, I think I was with a group of friends. Whatever, it was terrible.

If i'm watching a movie online and it's crap i'll just turn it off, but i'm unlikely to walk out of a film if I've paid for it, even if it's terrible. I'm going to enjoy the comfy seats and such at least. But not for Meet the Spartans. Just. Terrible.

 

[injected11]

Open Water.

My gf at the time wanted to see it. I told her I had no interest in it. Naturally, she wins because she has a vagina. It's starts very slow. It remains very slow. It never builds into anything climactic. She wanted to walk out after about 45 mins. I sat there, enraged that I had paid for this, waiting for every last one of those bastards to die. Even that wasn't satisfying. I don't think any other movie has ever made me so bored I wished for death to take me.