Contrary to the title, the movie has nothing to do with the novel by the same name by Alexandre Dumas, except for the number of musketeers (four), only they're not musketeers, they're ninjas, except for the one that's Batman. And Batman is a ninja. No, seriously, in case the giant friggin' airship from the trailer didn't tip you off, this isn't the Three Musketeers. It's a different movie. It's a story of a girl who dresses up as a boy* in order to become a member of the king's elite guard, a boy who dresses up as a man in order to become a warlord**, a man who dresses up as a ponce in order to become Severus Snape***, and Milla Jovovich who dresses up (and down) into various outfits in order to show she's still a total babe. And I loved it The movie is pretty, the backgrounds are very well done, the transitions into stylized maps with models houses and toy soldiers look really good, the airships are completely impossible but so is everything else in the film and also shut up, airships are cool. The entire cast is having so much fun hamming it up and chewing the scenery magnificently, and that fits so well with the over the top baroque scenography, over the top baroque clothing, and over the top baroque friggin' airships. The only jarring thing is that the film was made in 3D, for 3D, so there are scenes intentionally contrived to have things poking out of the screen. I can't wait for directors to stop doing that. But I really enjoyed the movie. *Okay, I'm just being mean here **Orlando Bloom is great as a smug bastard, and the "boy dressed as a man" comment would be totally unwarranted if Aramis didn't look exactly like him, only manlier. ***Athos. Totally.