The Tell-A-Joke Thread

[Alexander1970]

Aids in the butt is no joke.

Another great one.

 

[AmandaRose]

A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any pineapples? " The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of pineapples, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the pineapples are. The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of pineapples, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the pineapples, I need some pineapples right now!" The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your pineapples from the back." The lady agrees and the man starts the questions. "Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. " The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in pineapples. " She replies "There is no Fuck in pineapples?" To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"

 

[JuanMena]

I grew up with personalities such as PoloPolo, Memo Rios, Teo Gonzales, Gus Rodrigues... almost forgot about Chaf&Quely and their jokes are COMPLETELY NON-POLITICALLY CORRECT
So if I post a joke, I'd probably get another warning for either beeeeeeing:

• 
  
  
  • Racist
  • Sexist
  • Offensive

So I'll leave this just here...

 

[AmandaRose]

I grew up with personalities such as PoloPolo, Memo Rios, Teo Gonzales, Gus Rodrigues... and their jokes are COMPLETELY NON-POLITICALLY CORRECT
So if I post a joke, I'd probably get another warning for either beeeeeeing:

• 
  
  
  • Racist
  • Sexist
  • Offensive

So I'll leave this just here...

You have to physically type out a joke in this thread not post random videos. We already have a thread for that type of thing.

 

[JuanMena]

You have to physically type out a joke in this thread not post random videos. We already have a thread for that type of thing.

Did you read? All my jokes are aimed at people that can't stand anything nowadays.

 

[AmandaRose]

Did you read? All my jokes are aimed at people that can't stand anything nowadays.

Did you read? This thread is for jokes not for videos as i said we have a thread for that. Feel free to post jokes in text form if you want to just dont be racist or homophobic or transphobic with the jokes and people won't complain and by people I mean me

 

[IncredulousP]

Did you read? This thread is for jokes not for videos as i said we have a thread for that. Feel free to post jokes in text form if you want to just dont be racist or homophobic or transphobic with the jokes and people won't complain and by people I mean me

I met an ethnic, gay, trans person the other day and they suuuucked.

 

[AkiraKurusu]

One Christmas, my brother put a bell around my dog's neck.

I took it off and told everyone that my dog had won the "Nobel Prize".

 

[AmandaRose]

I met an ethnic, gay, trans person the other day and they suuuucked.

That joke sucked

 

[Castiel]

How do you catch a bear?

Spoiler: Answer

Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and surround it in peas
When the bear goes to take a pea, kick it in the ash-hole

 

[AmandaRose]

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean with her first husband, or with her second husband?" The priest replied, "No I mean her legs."

 

[Veho]

I can't find my "Gone in 60 seconds" DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

 

[Alexander1970]

"Boah, the Boy over there is really ugly."

"This is my Son."

"Oh sorry, I didn't know you were the Father."

"I am his Mother."

 

[AmandaRose]

What’s the difference between a catfish and a boyfriend?

One is a filthy scum-sucking, crap-eating, bottom feeder and the other one is a fish

 

[Alexander1970]

"My wife is a real Scottish," brags the newly married man.
"Yesterday she changed the water in the aquarium and today we had fish soup."

 

[AmandaRose]

What do you call a racist Austrian girl with big boobs?

Titler

 

[Alexander1970]

What is the difference between an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman?
If you ask for more sugar when you are invited to tea

In England, the hostess gives you a piece of sugar from the can.
In Ireland you get the whole sugar bowl and are asked to help yourself.
In Scotland, the hostess says: "You certainly haven't stirred yet!"

 

[Alexander1970]

A Camel meets an Elephant.

The Elephant asks: "Why do you actually have your Breasts on your Back?"
The Camel replies: "Why do you actually have your Penis on your Face."

 

[AmandaRose]

Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your pussy!"

 

[Alexander1970]

Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your pussy!"

Amanda.....you naughty Girl....