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So I downloaded an old SNES ROM set that I'd say is pretty good, and I discovered something.
Something interesting, that I thought I'd never discover.
A pre-1997 hacking scene for console games...in the US.
Now, I always knew that there was a hacking scene before then. It was called Chiwan Kong bootlegging, and it revolved around slapping Mario's face on anything they could.
And I always knew that there were console pirates here in the US before then, too, but they always used some sort of code language that resembled phone numbers with missing digits and it was all probably really confusing.
But my discovery was nothing short of astounding.
SNES Trainer Charts...?
Dated June 1994, this seems to be like a magazine that's shown on an SNES (a "console mag", as the creator put it) that, as far as I know, never got past the first issue.
It has good music and a nice menu. Let's see about the contents.
The Charts
Okay, first off, I don't even know what a "trainer" means in this context. Pokémon? Neural networks? Wii Fit?
And how could a "trainer" get released within three hours of another one? Imagine if Mupen64 and Project64 were released within one minute of each other.
Also, Sega doesn't suck. #DreamcastMasterRace
How did Anthrox get five ****ing points?! The maximum amount of points I could see is two (first working trainer of the month, released less than three hours before one with less options).
Now I'm even more confused. We're talking about groups? What does that code language mean? Why isn't there any info about the trainers? Was making an SPC file really that big of a deal? What is a trainer?!
Also, I can't help but notice that this guy misspelled "existence".
What's wrong with the Sega Genesis?
Was it Miyamoto or Iwata that said "a delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad"? It takes time to make a good menu on a system with a niche programming language.
"05-29-940"
Okay, I think I'm starting to understand what a trainer is.
So...what, a trainer isn't a ROM dump?
A menu is a menu, even if the only option is "press start to play".
ARE THEY ROM DUMPS OR ARE THEY TASBOTS?!
Interview with -PAN-/ATX
Wait, the scene's existed since '86?
Also, who what?
Okay, so you joined the scene in '89, but you chose that name in '86...my brain hurts.
???
Can't please everyone. I remember watching this hilarious "politically correct Thanksgiving pageant" and there was this Tofurkey gag with the moral of the story being if you try to please everyone you get a mouthful of crap.
And while I don't instantly dislike gays simply because they're gay, I believe that people shouldn't marry those of the same gender. But I'm still a homophobe, and you're still a racist. You got yourself nowhere.
oof
Three hours?! I've never been more happy about the fact that all non-subscription-based US games on every system before 2001 has been dumped.
Suddenly the extension ".smc" makes a whole lot more sense.
I like the joke.
Interview with SIGMA SEVEN
This is gonna be interesting.
Didn't STC guy get pissed about the racial slurs with the first guy?
It just keeps getting stranger...
...and sillier, too...
Toilet humor. I like it.
Why does STC get three separate lines in a row?
Spares count?
And we go from being pissed at racism to making racist jokes and full circle back to being pissed at racism.
Also, I desperately hope that "fone" means like an archaic Discord, like Tyson calls boneless wings "wyngz".
Interview with JSI of FFE
Part of the Chiwan Kong bootlegging scene, I see.
People actually owned the Atari Jaguar other than my family?!
That don't sound like Nintendo. Stopping at the name?
Hey, the Genesis had the better MK1 and EWJ.
Anthrox Christmas demo? Where can I find a video of it?
People actually know about the 3DO? We don't even own one!
Has someone put Guile's theme on the opening cutscene for Final Fantasy X yet?
I have nothing to say for this page.
Interview with H. SCHMIDT
Contra was on the GameBoy?!
Everybody used an Amiga, huh?
And a Commodore.
I thought the GBC was released in 1998 in Japan.
Wow, an emulator from the '90s is better than a computer from the '80s!
Yuzo Kushiro? Why have I never heard of him if he worked on SoR?!
The only one? What about AvP? Rayman? Bubsy F3?
I'm confused.
Wild Card Plus Specs
Graphics, languages, and time-wasters were considered hardware pushers?
Is this a copier or a flashcart?
CDs were cutting-edge? Savestates existed? The thing could be used on the SNES and the Genesis at the same time? Where can I buy one?!
Editorial
There were console mags before this?
On time? Yeah, sure, it's been twenty-five years on the month and this is the only issue.
A second second page. Woo.
Wonky Charts? Huh?
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
So this was the scene before GBAtemp, and hell, even before PSX modchips (or the console itself). What else have you guys been keeping from me?
So I downloaded an old SNES ROM set that I'd say is pretty good, and I discovered something.
Something interesting, that I thought I'd never discover.
A pre-1997 hacking scene for console games...in the US.
Now, I always knew that there was a hacking scene before then. It was called Chiwan Kong bootlegging, and it revolved around slapping Mario's face on anything they could.
And I always knew that there were console pirates here in the US before then, too, but they always used some sort of code language that resembled phone numbers with missing digits and it was all probably really confusing.
But my discovery was nothing short of astounding.
SNES Trainer Charts...?
Dated June 1994, this seems to be like a magazine that's shown on an SNES (a "console mag", as the creator put it) that, as far as I know, never got past the first issue.
It has good music and a nice menu. Let's see about the contents.
The Charts
Okay, first off, I don't even know what a "trainer" means in this context. Pokémon? Neural networks? Wii Fit?
And how could a "trainer" get released within three hours of another one? Imagine if Mupen64 and Project64 were released within one minute of each other.
Also, Sega doesn't suck. #DreamcastMasterRace
How did Anthrox get five ****ing points?! The maximum amount of points I could see is two (first working trainer of the month, released less than three hours before one with less options).
Now I'm even more confused. We're talking about groups? What does that code language mean? Why isn't there any info about the trainers? Was making an SPC file really that big of a deal? What is a trainer?!
Also, I can't help but notice that this guy misspelled "existence".
What's wrong with the Sega Genesis?
Was it Miyamoto or Iwata that said "a delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad"? It takes time to make a good menu on a system with a niche programming language.
"05-29-940"
Okay, I think I'm starting to understand what a trainer is.
So...what, a trainer isn't a ROM dump?
A menu is a menu, even if the only option is "press start to play".
ARE THEY ROM DUMPS OR ARE THEY TASBOTS?!
Interview with -PAN-/ATX
Wait, the scene's existed since '86?
Also, who what?
Okay, so you joined the scene in '89, but you chose that name in '86...my brain hurts.
???
Can't please everyone. I remember watching this hilarious "politically correct Thanksgiving pageant" and there was this Tofurkey gag with the moral of the story being if you try to please everyone you get a mouthful of crap.
And while I don't instantly dislike gays simply because they're gay, I believe that people shouldn't marry those of the same gender. But I'm still a homophobe, and you're still a racist. You got yourself nowhere.
oof
Three hours?! I've never been more happy about the fact that all non-subscription-based US games on every system before 2001 has been dumped.
Suddenly the extension ".smc" makes a whole lot more sense.
I like the joke.
Interview with SIGMA SEVEN
This is gonna be interesting.
Didn't STC guy get pissed about the racial slurs with the first guy?
It just keeps getting stranger...
...and sillier, too...
Toilet humor. I like it.
Why does STC get three separate lines in a row?
Spares count?
And we go from being pissed at racism to making racist jokes and full circle back to being pissed at racism.
Also, I desperately hope that "fone" means like an archaic Discord, like Tyson calls boneless wings "wyngz".
Interview with JSI of FFE
Part of the Chiwan Kong bootlegging scene, I see.
People actually owned the Atari Jaguar other than my family?!
That don't sound like Nintendo. Stopping at the name?
Hey, the Genesis had the better MK1 and EWJ.
Anthrox Christmas demo? Where can I find a video of it?
People actually know about the 3DO? We don't even own one!
Has someone put Guile's theme on the opening cutscene for Final Fantasy X yet?
I have nothing to say for this page.
Interview with H. SCHMIDT
Contra was on the GameBoy?!
Everybody used an Amiga, huh?
And a Commodore.
I thought the GBC was released in 1998 in Japan.
Wow, an emulator from the '90s is better than a computer from the '80s!
Yuzo Kushiro? Why have I never heard of him if he worked on SoR?!
The only one? What about AvP? Rayman? Bubsy F3?
I'm confused.
Wild Card Plus Specs
Graphics, languages, and time-wasters were considered hardware pushers?
Is this a copier or a flashcart?
CDs were cutting-edge? Savestates existed? The thing could be used on the SNES and the Genesis at the same time? Where can I buy one?!
Editorial
There were console mags before this?
On time? Yeah, sure, it's been twenty-five years on the month and this is the only issue.
A second second page. Woo.
Wonky Charts? Huh?
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
So this was the scene before GBAtemp, and hell, even before PSX modchips (or the console itself). What else have you guys been keeping from me?