This thread reminds me of the conversation with my pregnant girlfriend: she wasn't so much interested in my response, as she was interested in verbal ammunition to be used against me later on. I get the same thing here: all these "SPANKING IS ABUSE!!!!" messages are pretty intimidating. Thanks a lot, gbatemp. Since there are four pages already, I guess I can now safely chose whether I want to be lumped up in the category of "human" or "despicable scum that should stay 1000 miles away from the nearest child". Hmm...which side to chose?
Anyhow...fun rhetoric aside: "spanking" is an act that doesn't say much of the context. And that is really what makes all the difference (kind of how - between adults, obviously - BDSM differs from physical abuse). Lemme give two examples of a same situation:
WRONG: goddammit, I told ya kids to TURN DOWN THAT DARN RUCKUS!!!
*immediately hits without warning*
GOOD: Tommy...what did I told you about that noise? No, don't look away. You know what I told you. You were warned. You knew the consequences. I don't like to do it either, but it seems you can't get around it. Come here. Let's get this over with.
In the ideal world, the second option wouldn't be needed either. But I think it's a bit naive to think that each and every child can be talked to that way and have them filled with regret so they won't repeat the behavior (heck...I think that if you've got a rascal on your hands, they'll probably flee before you even finished your first sentence).
The difference between the two is mainly the emotion. The first example would be from someone with little to no self control. That's the sort of behavior that can traumatize kids, as children learn to pick up these moodswing situations pretty fast.
The latter is calculated. You're supposed to be the adult in the situation. As an adult, you need the mental advantage over your child (and that's a horrible way to say it, but I don't know how to properly translate it). You need to be in control, sincere and forthcoming. And most of all: consistent(1).
I don't really follow the trends in child raising (women have that field cornered no matter how terrible they might be at it), but I'm fairly sure this all plays into their idea of 'how it should be done'. Again: if you can manage it without ever having to spank: all the merrier. And it should obviously never become a default 'go to' option. But downright banning it "because it is abuse" ? No. I don't go that way. More so: socially outlawing those that do it will cause more harm than good, if you ask me. I remember being spanked a few times as a kid. Yet I grew up fine, and have a great relation with my parents. Whenever I see these sorts of posts, I get the feeling they want me to turn against my parents for what amounts at best a handful of occasions in a furthermore flawless trajectory of parenting for them.
(1): important: if I make it sound easy, then my apologies. Keeping your cool at all times, no matter how tired, pained or emotionally shocked you are ("that was my PERSONAL COMPUTER you broke!") can be a challenge. Nonetheless: IT.MUST.BE.DONE.