Order in the Court!

[Veho]

The following are actual conversations, from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, a collection of bizarre and funny courtroom exchanges drawn from sketches in San Diego lawyer Sevilla's Forum and Champion magazine column. Although these would feel right at home in any Phoenix Wright game, these are all real.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid



ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.



ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.



ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

More here.


I can't wait for the international compilation.

 

[Raika]

Those are awesome.

 

[Theraima]

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

Lol, kinda fail

 

[prowler]

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

i lol'd

 

[Raika]

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

i lol'd

Pretty stupid question, actually.

 

[zuron7]

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

This one's nice.

 

[Hop2089]

I'll also wait for the international compiliation. These are gold and would be great in an abridged Phoenix Wright video.