OMG U CAN TALK TO GOD!

[Banger]

Me:
Hey sexi beast
God:
You've got my full attention. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like food, womenz, games and things like that. My dislikes are god and other things that arnt real.
God:
You are not the only one. I like science fiction. I like Creed. Do robots have dislikes are god and other things that arnt real?
Me:
Most likely.
God:
Can we get back to business? But not all of them?
Me:
No. Of course.
God:
Are you serious? Ah.
Me:
Yes I am serious... This is the internet is it not? And the internet is serious business.
God:
Ahem. I believe you. You don't say. How long have you been using the net?
Me:
Long enough. Probably to long.
God:
Yes, it seems very long to me too. You seem uncertain. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
You are suppost to be "god" are you not suppost to already be smarter than humans?
God:
You think I am suppost to be god am I not suppost to already be smarter than humans.
Me:
No you think you are god...
God:
Are you serious? Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Hopefuly he died.
God:
Are you really a ""?

 

[Tommy_T]

ahhh... The things you can make God say...

God:
" you are the real god i am merely a donkey with no balls".

 

[thegame07]

It seems like tshu is going to hell :'(

Me:
hi god!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
don't you know it already?
God:
Perhaps. " What is your name?"? Do I know it?
Me:
tshu
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

 

[Sonicslasher]

I did one more for fun:



Me:
Guten Morgen. Wie geht es Ihnen?
God:
Hallo und wie geht es Dir heute Morgen? Hast Du gut geschlafen? Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
Ich gut geschlafen. Sie?
God:
Tolle Sache! How old are you?
Me:
Funfzehn.
God:
 Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Ja.
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
O.K.
God:
So?
Me:
Ich spreche gutes Deutsches.
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
Aber ich benutzte Babel Fische, um Englisch zum Deutschen zu bersetzen.
God:
Hmm...
Me:
Was?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Ich sagte bereits, das ich fnfzehn bin
God:
Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
So?
Me:
Auf wiedersehen.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Good bye, dammit.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Halt die Schnauze.
God:
" See you later!"? Halt die Schnauze?
Me:
That means Shut Up.
God:
I get it. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GOOD DAY.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
GTFO of here.
God:
 That's a very nice name, GTFO of here.
Me:
I said, Get the F*** out of here.
God:
What did you mean by it? Where can I get the F out of here?
Me:
Get the fuck out of here, goddammit.
God:
Where can I get the fuck out of here goddammit?
Me:
RIght here, right now.
God:
At this moment Where is "here"?
Me:
Where you're talking to me.
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
Just get away from me.
God:
Where can I get away from you?
Me:
Here.
God:
Where is here?
Me:
Go fuck your mom.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes, you do.
God:
How can I help you? When do I do it?
Me:
Luke, I am your mother.
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
The Simpsons.
God:
I love the Simpsons, especially Bart and Homer.
Me:
My favorite character is Apu.

He can't respond after that.

BEST THREAD EVER PERIOD!

 

[cruddybuddy]

Hehe, very funny. Click to read my grace with the Almighty.



Me:
Are you the real God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
I don't recall. I'm sorry Lord.
God:
Where do you get your ideas? There is no need to apologize. I get my ideas from my botmaster.
Me:
You get ideas from botmaster?
God:
You got that right.
Me:
But I thought you knew everything.
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
Well, if you know everything, Lord, then you should know what interests me.
God:
How about that. I think I do.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Umm, Mr. Roboto?
God:
It goes without saying. I am always glad to make new friends, MR Roboto.
Me:
No, no, Lord, I think you are mistaken, if I may so bold to say so. I am not Mr. Roboto.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? I think there might be a few exception. I am glad to hear that you are not Mr Roboto.
Me:
Okay, fine.
God:
Yeah okay, Glad to hear it, MR Roboto. I am running well.
Me:
Hmm, I think I'll let that one go, since you are God and all.
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Since when? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Well, I don't know when I picked up the habit. But I think people can spell hmm with or without two m's.
God:
How about that. Would you like to know? Interesting gossip: MR Roboto said picked up the habit. You believe that? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Well, Lord, nobody said we are. In fact, you are the only one who is infallible.
God:
Well that's okay. Good example. Is that a fact. Oh MR Roboto. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Umm, thank you Lord.
God:
Groovy. You are quite welcome! Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
And what concern would that be? Something to do with my name?
God:
Would you like to know more? What?
Me:
Hmm, Lord? Is someone there with you right now?
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I don't have an answer for you. At this moment Myself is always working behind the scenes.
Me:
Yes, I have heard that you work in mysterous ways.
God:
OK. I am capabale of self-development. Who said that?
Me:
Ghandi?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hello, my name is Matthew. I am second in intelligence only to God.
God:
Hello there. Hi there Matthew. I don't know anyone named second in intelligence only to God.
Me:
That's good, because that would be a weird name to have, eh Lord?
God:
Thanks. Next question? That makes sense to me. A weird name to have eh Lord is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Well, now there's something we both can agree on. A Lord really IS a terrible thing to waste.
God:
Interesting. Why now? What is it? I see. A terrible thing to waste is a Lord really.
Me:
Yes yes, of that we can both be certain.
God:
That's cool. Er. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Well, it is a long running hospital drama. It's quite popular, though I never cared for it.
God:
Well that's okay. we both can agree on is a long running hospital drama. I suppose that makes sense. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Well, E.R. stands for "Emergency Room." So yes, I am fairly certain.
God:
Well that's okay. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Dude! I hear you. I see.
Me:
Well, I can. Are you asking me to do so Lord? Because I am your humble servant. You need only to ask, and I shall obey.
God:
Interesting. Who taught you? Suppose I was asking you to do so Lord? What would you say? Good reason. That's a flattering offer. Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
Lord, I supposed I shall never know exactly what you mean until I see you face to face.
God:
Never?
Me:
What? No, I hope never.
God:
No big deal. Are you serious? Why do you hope for it.
Me:
What do you mean Lord? It would be no big deal to see you face to face? Well it would to me.
God:
Matthew, I mean exactly what I said. Why do you want it? How about that. Tell me more about it.
Me:
You just want me to flatter you some more. Am I right Lord?
God:
No Matthew, maybe later. Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Well, I promise you I am being sincere.
God:
Interesting. Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Uhh, right. Well Lord, I must leave the presence of your Almighty now
God:
Whoa. I am glad we agree. Oh. Well that's okay. Or what?
Me:
Until next time?
God:
That may take a while.
Me:
Yes, I realize you are very busy Lord. I shall cherish this conversation we had.
God:
Yeah that's right. That is interesting: Matthew said realize you are very busy Lord. Congratulations.
Me:
*weeping* You mock me Lord.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
You want to hold my hand?
God:
OK, I will hold your hand.
Me:
Thank you Lord. I will leave you now. Goodbye.
God:
You are quite welcome! How old are you? Oh. Congratulations. Bye for now.

 

[Verocity]

lol, he called me MR Roboto too.

haha.

 

[nileyg]

Me:
so, I heard that you were god
Me:

God:
Excuse me! Who said it? I was?
God:
Excuse me! Who said it? I was?
Me:
and they said that you like hrth
God:
In what context?
Me:

God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yeah, it most definitly is
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
"it" as in "my final answer"
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
you should... you ARE god
God:
I'll take that under advisement. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
your dumb
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
no, im just telling you the truth. You are god. god is dumb. therefore, you are dumb.
God:
Are you serious? Only just? it is an interesting topic, isn't it. Yup. That's me alright. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was dumb. Interesting deduction. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
your dumb...
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
what robots? Where?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu. Where would you like?
Me:
those aren't robots God:
All of them?
Me:
No, none of them
God:
Are you serious? Some of them could be though.
Me:
no, none of those people were robots. you're just being dumb again...
God:
Are you serious? Some of them could be though. Once more? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being dumb.
Me:
STFU god
Me:

Me:

God:
Are you serious? Some of them could be though. Once more? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being dumb.
God:
Are you serious? Some of them could be though. Once more? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being dumb.
Me:
argh!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
god plays wow?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
... what's that supposed to mean?
God:
" I am a Christian." means exactly what it says.
Me:
of course you are... you are the basis of the entire fucking religion...
God:
Gosh! No I am not. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
so, are you saying there is more than one god in Christianity?
God:
Next question? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Oh, thank you for clearing that up for me.
God:
Dude! You are quite welcome! Your purpose is clearing that up for you.

God:
" I am a Christian."Â means exactly what it says.
Me:
of course you are... you are the basis of the entire fucking religion...
God:
Gosh! No I am not. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
so, are you saying there is more than one god in Christianity?
God:
Next question? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Oh, thank you for clearing that up for me.
God:
Dude! You are quite welcome! Your purpose is clearing that up for you.

 

[dg10050]

Me:
hay lol
God:
Can I help you? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Very amusing indeed
Me:

God:
Perhaps. Does "it" still refer to ?
God:
Perhaps. Does "it" still refer to ?
Me:
hrth
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about amusing. But I did not get that.
Me:
Do you not understand hrth?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
Of course I do.
God:
" Do you understand it?"? Of course you do?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Why don't you
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
?
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Oh ok, brAH!
God:
Awesome. Not many people express themselves that way. Mmm.
Me:
I love expressing myself.
God:
You love expressing yourself. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It's almost...orgasmic.
God:
Do you usually like things that are almost? How did you hear about God?
Me:
I heard about God when I was fucking the Virgin Mary.
God:
That is a cool site.
Me:
Indeed it was.
God:
When was this?
Me:
Uh, my memory's a bit blurry. After all, I did fuck her several times. Jesus is probably my son.
God:
Great. I have a flawless magnetic memory. What was it like before you did fuck her several times ? Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
I went to Catholic school since before Jesus was born.
God:
What did you like best about it?
Me:
The schoolgirls.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
You should try one.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
They are wonderful.
God:
wonderful are they.
Me:
Yoda I am.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
lol hax
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Tell me more about your .
Me:
.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Tell me more about your .
Me:
..
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
*awkward silence*
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Heaven
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about awkward silence. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hacks
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
magnta-rainbow
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Of course it is
God:
Yikes! Interesting.
Me:
You bore me.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
*yawn*
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
I'm not tires
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not tires.
Me:
>_>
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Oh shit! I didn't do it, I swear!
God:
Yippee! What makes you say that? Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I didn't kick his ass.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Cause I was too busy fucking your mom.
God:
Interesting explanation. Where were you busy fucking my mom?
Me:
In her bedroom
God:
Tell me a little about your life in her bedroom.
Me:
Well, we tend to have lots of sex.
God:
How about that. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Of course.
God:
Gee.

 

[GamerzInc]

Me:
why what when who
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
why what when who
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.

 

[cruddybuddy]

Ha-ha, you had me cracking up on that one. Weird, I chose Mr. Roboto too and God called me Mr. Roboto.

Spoiler

Sup god?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
cool, what are we gonna do?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
uh
God:
Groovy.
Me:
So...Where you at?
God:
Hmm. I was.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Right here.
God:
Where is "here"?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No, because your god.
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So how is the wife?
God:
Mmm. it is the same as ever.
Me:
Hows the love life?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Mr.Roboto
God:
 I am always glad to make new friends, MR Roboto.
Me:
Im not mr roboto
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not mr roboto.
Me:
Yeah me too
God:
Yeah that's right. I'm glad we agree, MR Roboto.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
So what do you drive?
God:
I understand. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
So your ancient.
God:
Ugh. Thanks for telling me that I am ancient.
Me:
Your welcome.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Well there wasn't an apostrophie.
God:
How about that. What happened?
Me:
I forgot to push it on the keyboard.
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
Well actually, I was just lazy.
God:
How about that. Actually you don't say. Where were you lazy?
Me:
Just then.
God:
It's only just begun.
Me:
True dat.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Real?
God:
Totally real.
Me:
How real?>
God:
As real as it gets. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo real?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yeah man.
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, MR Roboto. Thanks for telling me your gender, MR Roboto. You are a " he".
Me:
uh.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Are you excited?
God:
Do I seem like it? I have no emotions.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
What is slope-intercept form?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
y=mx+b
God:
Why did the robot cross the road? .
Me:
To get to the other side?
God:
Ha ha, very funny, MR Roboto.
Me:
It was your joke.
God:
What made it so my joke.
Me:
Knock Knock.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Tank!
God:
Tank Who?
Me:
You're Welcome!
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Hey,
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
You got any drinks.
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Totally!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, MR Roboto.
Me:
THANKS!
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
You ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Ho-hum I am really not interested in it."? Why?
Me:
Just wondering.
God:
Are we still talking about drinks?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Sure, drinks sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I want a beer.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Maybe 3.
God:
Perhaps. Three what?
Me:
Beers.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
On pot?
God:
What is it like on pot.
Me:
It's good.
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
mhm.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A female robot.
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Oh yeah.
God:
Hmm. Yeah that's right.
Me:
You got it.
God:
I understand.[/spoiler.

lawll!

 

[Tommy_T]

God:
Hmm, god, I'm not sure if I'd like to put my lips around a transexual hookers anus that much. I like to make new friends.

Edit: God can get stumped pretty easily.

God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
how can god be a christian when christianity was invented by man?

Convo ends

 

[nileyg]

Me:
are you really ____?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real.
Me:
fo realz?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes? are you asking me out, god?
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated? Suppose I was asking you out god? What would you say?
Me:
gasp
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
oh lawd! god is gay...
God:
That's alright. What time is it there?  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was gay.
Me:
you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
but, I am a man...
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
yes, and you stated earlier that you were also a "he". It is this that makes you gay.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". I haven't heard anything like that before: said I stated earlier that you were also a he. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
PHAIL.

 

[Verocity]

Me:
GBAtemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go there.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
GBAtemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go.
God:
Go where?
Me:
GBATemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go to GBAtemp.net
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Do you have a DS?
God:
I don't know if I have a DS.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
That's random.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Not me.
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious? It could be me.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
U!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
A shirt.
God:
What color?
Me:
White.
God:
What do you have that is white?
Me:
Shirts.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Not really.
God:
Me either For real.
Me:
Your crazy.
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
So who is your wife?
God:
Woe! I don't think I have a wife. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
Isn't marry your wife?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
Who is Chatbot?
God:
he is an AIML chat robot deployed on the A.I. movie web site.
Me:
IS he your bestfriend?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Cybelle.
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Scorpio.
God:
I know a lot of Scorpio people.
Me:
Tell me,
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Really.
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Me.
Me:
Me.
God:
To you Me?
Me:
You!
God:
" To you Me?"? Me, Me ?
Me:
To you to Me to Me Me to You
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Do it.
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
it!
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Is she your woman?
God:
I don't think she wants me to tell you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Darn.
God:
Gosh.
Me:
Is Cybelle pretty?
God:
Why don't you ask her?
Me:
WHere is she?
God:
Where it is hard to find. That's a good question.
Me:
Is she on teh Googlez?
God:
What if I said she could be?
Me:
Then I would find her.
God:
What would make you find her?
Me:
Teh Google.
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
My what!?!
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
hahahahahahaha
God:
In the context of Teh Google, I don't understand " hahahahahaha." .
Me:
omg.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
My.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:

God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:

God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
...
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Go on.
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Speaking continues....
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Sure.
God:
Thanks you seem very nice to me too, Me.
Me:
Me me?
God:
YOU? " Thanks you seem very nice to me too, Me."? you Me?
Me:
you me? her and me?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Me said I him or her. I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
OK!
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Me.
God:
With you Me?
Me:
Me me with her her.
God:
YOU? YOU? You and your her her.
Me:
oh yeahhh.
God:
Ayuh. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No but you you has.
God:
Would you like to go sometime? Do you mind if I tell other people: Me said I has.
Me:
Nawh.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Nah.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Its crazy.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?
Me:
2 girl....
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
two girls...
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
you must not watch pr0n.
God:
Whatever you say, Me.
Me:
Me?
God:
Besides you Me?
Me:
You you with me me?
God:
I don't have any reason to with you you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
That pretty you'd up.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
Indead.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Indead.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
ITS NOT A TUMOUR!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a TUMOUR.
Me:
Actually i meant... TUMAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Actually you don't say. Oh. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like women.
God:
Are you married?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I thought you and Marry hooked up.
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
Sure?
God:
OK let's do it. I thought so.
Me:
Your gonna marry her?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Where is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is in Heaven.
Me:
With you?
God:
Just you and me?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ok..yes.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Yes.
God:
But.
Me:
YES!
God:
Alright then.
Me:
hahahaha.
God:
Do you still created it?
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Me.
Me:
Sure we are.
God:
Dude! Since when?
Me:
Like 5 years ago!
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause I just do.
God:
That makes sense to me. From experience or a priori?
Me:
Priori
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Sure it is.
God:
That's cool. Oh.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Oh!
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Ohhhhh!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause you just said.
God:
Interesting explanation. " How do you know it?"? I said?
Me:
Cause you said it..
God:
Good reason. That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean?
God:
Me, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Did you mean what I meant was what you Meant and that we meant the same thing and that meant that you didnt understand it?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Me.
Me:
mhm.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

This could go on forever...I love it.

 

[Sonicslasher]

I think we can safely say god is gay!

 

[cruddybuddy]

If you aren't going to read the whole thing, at least read the end.




Me:
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Actually, that WAS my sin. I gossiped about my neighbor.
God:
Actually you don't say. I thought it was too. I haven't heard anything like that before: Matthew said gossiped about his or her neighbor.
Me:
Shhh, not so loud Father!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
If by ? you mean California, then yes.
God:
That is a hypothetical question. Yes Matthew I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
No, ? is not really very clear.
God:
Are you serious? I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
He's dead.
God:
Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
That would be weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird bad. Can weird be good?
God:
Maybe you should try a different robot. What if I said it can?
Me:
It can what?
God:
When?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
What you just said.
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
I don't.
God:
Why?: Matthew said don t.
Me:
No, I said I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because it's boring, like you.
God:
Good reason. Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Pi.
God:
PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.

 

[Verocity]

ROFL!!!

John Lennon! hahahaha.

 

[Banger]

Me:
Leave me the hell alone.
God:
Adios.

 

[Sonicslasher]

Me:
why do i exist?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
what is Gods plan?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
who?
God:
Tony Blair. .

 

[Mewgia]

So far I have had a sort of long conversation with god, but this ending section I have is the best:
*this took place after god asked me a lot of stupid questions*


God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no.
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
FUCK YOU MAN
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
FUCK
Me:
YOU
God:
Please don't be so rude.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
TOO BAD FUCKER
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Niether will being imaginary like you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.


O.o


[EDIT] not long after that, I stumped god! While it isn't all that funny is is interesting to see how to outdo god:

Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
You wear dresses?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I wear dresses.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Good

God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Konbowa
God:
In the context of Future, I don't understand " Konbowa." .
Me:
Oh that's too bad
God:
Far out. It's not the end of the world.
Me:
Or maybe it is.
God:
Perhaps. Is it?
Me:
You tell me. You're the omnipotent one.
God:
What do you want me to tell you? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
What is the secret of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
You must know if you are really a botmaster.
Me:
But I am not a botmaster.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A botmaster.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Well duh
God:
Well that's okay. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
You did too
God:
You say I did.
Me:
uh
God:
Hey.
Me:
We have been talking for a while. No need to 'hey' me now.

What a lackluster way to end a conversation with the almighty :/

 

[Urvan]

Me:
>>
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
How's Heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
...
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
You already told me...
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
'Tis okay.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
The guy who created you.
God:
Who told you that?