Nostalgia Portal: Wii Sports


Well-Known Member
Nov 25, 2022
After I got a red Wii (it's a Wii, but red with GCN ports) and Balance Board, I decided to start a series called Nostalgia Portal, where I remind y'all of an old game and ruin your childhoods with a random fictional story (once every Wednesday).

Anyway, let us begin...

Who else besides me remembers Wii Sports, the game where you accidentally concuss your kids when playing Wii Bowling only to get a child abuse charge and a DMCA Takedown Notice (I don't have kids and never got DMCA'd, so this is a rhetorical thing.}
Well, here's a story about a negative last experience with the game.

Now, I'm a 2007 kid, so it's kinda obvious that I grew up with the Wii and Nintendo 3DS and Plug n Plays (and the SNES.), but this was an event that happened mid-2019. The Wii was terminated, so I had decided to play the game one last time, but this time with my family. I booted up my Wii and inserted Wii Sports. But there was something kinda off, but I couldn't bring myself to figure out what. I just felt something off after all these years.

When I booted up Tennis, it was glitching out. I OBVIOUSLY cleaned the disk and reinserted it. Tennis soon played like normal.
When I booted up baseball, the game would freeze and kick me back into the menu. THREE. DIFFERENT. TIMES. When I passed the Wiimote to my little sister after the third time, I heard the Wii Baseball theme begin. Now, my little sister is inexperienced with Wii Sports, but I just let her play it anyway. My mistake. The game crashed and I had to restart the Wii.

After restarting, the dashboard was spazzing out. Restarting it again, and it was back to normal. I rebooted Wii Sports and put on Wii Bowling (No I did not give my little sister a concussion with the Wiimote.) It played like normal up until one of us got a Double Strike. After that, everything was out of place, and the game somehow ended.

I soon booted up Boxing and gave the Wiimote and Nunchuk to my mom. She was soon enough playing the game, and nothing actually happened. I was starting to get suspicious about the copy we had purchased, but I shrugged it off, up until the fight against Matt. His face didn't distort (This isn't a fucking Creepypasta.), he just glitched out of the game.

We soon got a notice that read "barricade all entrances to your house." in the Notifications.

We all laughed it off. The text was glitched out, so I decided that this was probably a pirated copy, and properly disposed of it.

This is just some idiot who reviews games and makes shitty stories, signing off.
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