In honor of this tremendous event, I have written this short narrative. Please enjoy!
A Lonely Book
Greetings m’lord! It is with the greatest devotion to thy general amusement both now and in future time that I present to thee this most unusual and epic book! If an unworthy bard may have the blessings of thy most highly praised attention for a mere moment, I shall surely tickle thy fancy with the oratory of this heralded item.
If thy gaze be true m’lord, I shall suffer you not a moment to peer upon any imperfection of this purest of literature. Indeed, the material contents composing of both spotless parchment and the darkest ink show nary a blemish. A truer wonder you shall never find, yet its presence graces your own by my very hand.
Now, with my name being of sound repute, I swear by my father’s linage that the knowledge I am about to bestow is wholly rooted in fact. May the Master of Creation Himself smite me and my progeny if even a mere word I speak is proven a falsehood. For I have plucked this ethereal treasure from the very abstract of time, though some devils would most heinously besmirch my honor upon hearing this full account.
There exists a place somewhere out of time and space where no entity, neither beast of the earth nor foul of the sky, neither mortal man nor immortal creature of heaven, neither rays of celestial bodies nor elements of darkened depths have ever pierced. By craft of hands and mind, I have wounded the bubble of concealment surrounding this place and cast mine own very stare upon its wonderment. If by my bold exploration into this other realm I have blasphemed God or my lord, may a thousand arrows of man and a hundred thousand arrows of God tear my body asunder. However, if it is pleases my lord, allow me to give full account of this experience.
In the center of the room t’was a finely crafted table of solid mahogany. I beseech thy pardon m’lord, but even the works of thine greatest artisans are like filthy dross by compare. Now, as awe inspiring and brilliant as that table might have been, it could not even compare to the supreme beauty of the book that slumbered in goddess-like perfection in the median. At that very instant I knew this untouched treasure must be pilfered from its heavenly realm to be caressed only by thy majesty’s hands. No chalice, nor gem, nor sword could ever match the quality of this marvel, its outer bindings virgin to only mine own eyes. So with delicate grace I bundled the book in my cloak and made haste to thy throne, where I now present this selfless gift to thee. Thou shalt be the first, and mayhaps the only human- long live your graciousness- to ever drink of the knowledge held therein.
The king waited for a moment and then spoke. “Burn the book. And three weeks in detention for the fool.”