Jealousy problems with young friends

[Chris_Skylock]

Ok. So last June 2009, it was Yshi's 7th bday. I gave her a laptop for a 3-7 years old, a Genuine Barbie and a coloring set 3 months later as I cant possibly make that much money. I asked her what bday gift to give and she asked for a Barbie.

Then we have Esperanza's 7th bday on September. I asked her what gift I should give and she replied Barbie but then changed her mind as her dad will give her a Barbie. She asked my for a DS. I lent her my DS Lite and finally gave her my Pink Nintendo DSi last December 2009. It took me almost 3 months to save up some money to give away expensive gifts.

I got my DS Lite back and I dont have my Nintendo DSi as I gave it away. I only have 2 currently - one for my sis and one for Esperanza

Then we have Gwen's 8th bday last November and I havent thought of a gift but I gave her my RAGNAROK ONLINE Poring doll.

Then we have Nadine's 7th bday last December and I asked her what her bday gift will be and she replied in a text message that she wants a cellphone. Im now currently saving up for a phone.

The problem is now that they're jealous of Esperanza because I give important to her. It's just her bday present. I did asked them what they want and now they hate me.

I told them to wait for me to leave the country and be in Canada as I can easily save money in Canada and support and give them what they like. But they didnt listen and demanded to give them useless expensive stuffs RIGHT NOW to match Esperanza's (ie. The 2-wheel skateboard, scooter, and other stuffs).

What am I supposed to do now?

PS: My family applied as immigration for Canada and we are 2 steps away in going to Canada - To pass the medical exam and to wait for the visa. With some luck, We'll be in Canada this coming May, June or July 2010. I pray to God.

 

[CasperH]

Jezus, you sure spend a lot on gifts

Seriously, they have no right to complain

 

[Guild McCommunist]

Teach them the gift of good will. If they're going to complain over their gifts, they don't deserve any. Gifts aren't about things, it's about meaning. I didn't get a lot for Christmas this year, but I didn't care. It was having the family that mattered.

Still, you're really a good person for saving up all this cash to buy them such nice gifts. You shouldn't worry about this. Just tell them that money is tight and that they'll have to wait for a super-cool gifts. Or explain to them the meaning of point over price.

 

[Danny600kill]

First i have to say your a really generous person, those presents are really expensive and you had to save a lot for them. Id love to have a friend like you

Now no matter what you say or do theres alway going to be people who are jealous you just have to help them understand how money isn't easy to get anymore and everything costs more these days. If they still don't listen then they can't be much of a friend and may just use you for money, gifts ect. Sounds horrible but i can happen

Hope everything turns out ok, and hope you have a good move to Canada

Edit: Hay, seeing as were friends now, I'd just like to tell you my birthdays next month hint hint

 

[Chris_Skylock]

If we're friends, I can give you a NIntendo DSi. lol. Im not joking

Anyway, I dont know what to do. Yshi is not talking to me despite im always there when she needs something and this is what she will pay me back?

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1561...100000158377696
The Pink DSi I gave to esperanza. the blue one is for my sis that I gave

 

[The Catboy]

I wish I got a laptop when I was 7, hell I wish I got a laptop now.
Still I agree with CasperH and Guild McCommunist on this one.

 

[Chris_Skylock]

That's the problem, they dont listen. they said "how long will we wait"

our application in Canada is not yet finalized and the medical exam is a hell here in the Philippines.

I gave them ETA of May-July 2010 IF we go to Canada


I asked them what they want and now the other one has something more, they demanded an even more equal present.

I told them I will buy them all a Nintendo DSi XL EACH with M3i Zero but who knows how to touch their hearts.

 

[Densetsu]

Those kids really should learn how to be thankful for what they have.

Sorry this is off-topic, but I clicked on the facebook link--is your last name really Claveria, or is that the name of the town you're in? Because my parents are from Ilocos Norte and their hometown is Claveria.

 

[Danny600kill]

That's the problem, they dont listen. they said "how long will we wait"

our application in Canada is not yet finalized and the medical exam is a hell here in the Philippines.

I gave them ETA of May-July 2010 IF we go to Canada


I asked them what they want and now the other one has something more, they demanded an even more equal present.

I told them I will buy them all a Nintendo DSi XL EACH with M3i Zero but who knows how to touch their hearts.

Wow now thats going to cost you a pretty penny

I would give in, I would just wait it out and keep explaining that they can't have everything they ask for, when they grow up they need to know these simples thing to get on in this world, like the old saying goes, nothing is free in this world.

Maybe get them something smaller that has more use. if you just agree to what they want then they will keep doing the same thing until they have taken all the money you have. i understand that you want them to be happy and make it fair but life isn't fair. Just say that you will try your hardest when it's there birthday and it the thought that count's.

You may of missed my last edit but it was just saying my birthday is next month

Again I hope everything goes well, I'm sure it will

 

[Guild McCommunist]

That's the problem, they dont listen. they said "how long will we wait"

Answer: "Forever, if you bunch don't shut yer yappers!"

Maybe just once give them nothing to show the importance of embracing what they have.

 

[Psyfira]

I told them I will buy them all a Nintendo DSi XL EACH with M3i Zero but who knows how to touch their hearts.

Don't. They're taking advantage of you, and you're letting them. You can't please everyone all the time and there's some people in this world who will just keep asking for more no matter how much you give them. It's a gift, you give what you want to and shouldn't feel an obligation to meet demands.

My advice would be to stop asking what they want for their birthdays and just pick something out yourself to give them. If you don't start the conversation about gifts it might stop them talking about the value, and if they start a conversation about it themselves then they might realise how unreasonable they're being.

 

[astrangeone]

See, I have a problem with giving kids now anything expensive. It just leads to the "gimmies", a condition that I admit I may suffer even now. The problem is that you gave one of your friends a very expensive gift(s) (the DSi, DSL, and the laptop), and the rest are just clamoring for more stuff. If I got a laptop when I was 7, I'd be crazy good - and not ask you for more stuff.

Basically, you are feeding the buying frenzy. I personally would have been happy with the barbie and the coloring books at that age, and you are just being taken advantage of. Start the conversation about value and thoughtfulness and how money is earned (use examples like how much their daily allowance needs to be saved before it equals a DSi).

Make something for them, give them an experience - like maybe tickets to the zoo or something like that. That will be more fulfilling than games and a DSi. Basically, spend time with them.

 

[macgeek417]

Just tell em if someone is too spoiled this happens:

 

[astrangeone]

Just tell em if someone is too spoiled this happens:

Now, there's gaming addiction gone really bad. Sheesh.

 

[david432111]

That's the problem, they dont listen. they said "how long will we wait"

our application in Canada is not yet finalized and the medical exam is a hell here in the Philippines.

I gave them ETA of May-July 2010 IF we go to Canada


I asked them what they want and now the other one has something more, they demanded an even more equal present.

I told them I will buy them all a Nintendo DSi XL EACH with M3i Zero but who knows how to touch their hearts.

As everyone else has said, tell them that you're done with that and that they have no right to demand things from you. Three DSi's would cost A LOT of money and make them keep demanding expensive gifts, tell them that they're not getting those dsi's and let that be the end of it. Give them something cheaper and tell them that they should be thankful.

 

[Densetsu]

Just tell em if someone is too spoiled this happens:

At the 1:10 mark did he just try to shove that remote control up his ass!?

 

[MelodieOctavia]

Just tell em if someone is too spoiled this happens:

At the 1:10 mark did he just try to shove that remote control up his ass!?

Yes, yes he did.

On topic, Get them nothing. its what they deserve.

 

[Aeladya]

Just tell em if someone is too spoiled this happens:

At the 1:10 mark did he just try to shove that remote control up his ass!?

The videos are all fake, but you don't have to tell them that

.


Anyway you spend WAAAY more than I do on presents. When I had a job I spent maybe $40 on each person, it really depended on what they wanted. Now everyone gets the gift of my awesome baking, which they appreciate more than gifts, and if they don't they can kiss my ass. Everyone loves my baking, it's the only thing they don't complain about (which is why I'm going to try to go to a baking school, I'm good at it...god I'm gonna be really fat...). So if they complain, tell them that they don't deserve gifts. My cousin complained about the gift I got him one year so he doesn't get jack shit from me anymore.

 

[Chris_Skylock]

Oooops...I gave away my last name...hahaha...Stupid Facebook

Thanks for all your help and I will try to resolve this by following your advices.

Before I gave them presents,I was planning to reduce it when Im going over board - making them spoiled. But now the worst case scenario happened and I cant control it.

Anyway, I will try to compile everything you all said and will plan my moves. I will tell them that it will take some time to buy things and not everyone deserves everything.

This reminds me of a Pokemon Episode called "Rough Tough Jiglypuff" where Liza's dad is trying to catch a Jigglypuff. Mitch failed and told her daughter that she cant have everything. I'll re-watch that episode again and I'll try to understand every single reply here and finally I got some answers

PS: The Jigglypuff came to Liza and she had both. lol.

 

[zeromac]

Wait how exactly are you related to the little kids your giving gifts to?
And why are you giving such gifts like a DSI or anything above 20$, from what you wrote, the kids are >10, the most they would want would be barbie dolls and playhouses and if they were boys, hotwheels and little racecars...
Seriously, this is just my opinion, but you shouldn't be buying such lavish gifts for little kids, your over spoiling them for the future.