I Shat In a Bag Today

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Hadrian

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DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY DISGUSTED

We had builders in today putting in some sort of bathroom fan (which is now permanently off as its TOO FUCKING COLD WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING LANDLORD?). I couldn't go before they came and they said they would only take a few hours...they took longer. I needed to take a nice refreshing shit but the toilet was covered in crap. I was touching clothe so I couldn't walking 10 minutes into time to take a shit there in one of the lovely chlamydia ridden seats so I took drastic measures...

I shat in a bag.

The first part was solid but the second was runny and it seeped out of the paper bag. Luckily I managed to quickly place tissue under the dripping turd. I then managed to clench enough to get a plastic bag underneath and then I continued. The smell was immense, so I got another plastic bag and wrapped the steaming turds up.

The builders then left only 10 minutes later, if only I "held" on then I would have saved the embarrassment of my Mrs walking in on me in the bedroom.

The moral of the story is to not use paper bags and to make sure that a bag is doubled before pooping.
 

p1ngpong

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Jesus Christ Hadrian!
mad.gif





A paper bag? What were you thinking man?
 

helpme

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i got pulled over by the police back in the early 90s & i had to swollow a quarter of nepalese temple ball (which is a strong hash) when i got home i tryed making myself sich to bring up the pot but it never worked
so i took a load of laxatives then two hours later i had a huge shite in a bucket then sived threw the shite with some marigolds on to see if i could find it
i never found the pot but i did get the wrap that it was covered with
wacko.gif
 

thegame07

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helpme said:
i got pulled over by the police back in the early 90s & i had to swollow a quarter of nepalese temple ball (which is a strong hash) when i got home i tryed making myself sich to bring up the pot but it never worked
so i took a load of laxatives then two hours later i had a huge shite in a bucket then sived threw the shite with some marigolds on to see if i could find it
i never found the pot but i did get the wrap that it was covered with
wacko.gif

The police wouldn't have done much if they caught you with it lol
 

kobykaan

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Makes a change someone ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT SHIT on here instead of just TALKING it!!!
nyanya.gif



Was probably more of an issue of the Missus walking in and catching you doing the deed and trying to explain that one away than the actual act!

for the ....record remember the motto .... PAPER BAGS ARE FOR PUKE .... BIN LINERS FOR POOP! (bigger more resilient to toxic waste er kinda)

or next time use a BUCKET! ....... or the missus handbag! much more convenient and may also have a handy packet of tissues for afterwards and some perfume to hide the odour!
nyanya.gif
 

Hadrian

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raulpica said:
Now someone can create a poll like: "Do you poop in bags?"

Sofas are so 2008 nowadays
smileipb2.png
Ah the "would you piss in the bath?" fad I created and then regretted when people started doing "would you shit on the sofa?".
 

jacklaidlaw

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Hadrian Uranium said:
DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY DISGUSTED

We had builders in today putting in some sort of bathroom fan (which is now permanently off as its TOO FUCKING COLD WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU THINK LANDLORD?). I couldn't go before they came and they said they would only take a few hours...they took longer. I needed to take a nice refreshing shit but the toilet was covered in crap. I was touching clothe so I couldn't walking 10 minutes into time to take a shit there in one of the lovely chlamydia ridden seats so I took drastic measures...

I shat in a bag.

The first part was solid but the second was runny and it seeped out of the paper bag. Luckily I managed to quickly place tissue under the dripping turd. I then managed to clench enough to get a plastic bag underneath and then I continued. The smell was immense, so I got another plastic bag and wrapped the steaming turds up.

The builders then left only 10 minutes later, if only I "held" on then I would have saved the embarrasment of my Mrs walking in on me in the bedroom.

The moral of the story is to not use paper bags and to make sure that a bag is doubled before pooping.

its really weird you saying that i had builders installing a fan in my bathroom today althou i did not shit in a bag
 
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