DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY DISGUSTED
We had builders in today putting in some sort of bathroom fan (which is now permanently off as its TOO FUCKING COLD WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING LANDLORD?). I couldn't go before they came and they said they would only take a few hours...they took longer. I needed to take a nice refreshing shit but the toilet was covered in crap. I was touching clothe so I couldn't walking 10 minutes into time to take a shit there in one of the lovely chlamydia ridden seats so I took drastic measures...
I shat in a bag.
The first part was solid but the second was runny and it seeped out of the paper bag. Luckily I managed to quickly place tissue under the dripping turd. I then managed to clench enough to get a plastic bag underneath and then I continued. The smell was immense, so I got another plastic bag and wrapped the steaming turds up.
The builders then left only 10 minutes later, if only I "held" on then I would have saved the embarrassment of my Mrs walking in on me in the bedroom.
The moral of the story is to not use paper bags and to make sure that a bag is doubled before pooping.
We had builders in today putting in some sort of bathroom fan (which is now permanently off as its TOO FUCKING COLD WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING LANDLORD?). I couldn't go before they came and they said they would only take a few hours...they took longer. I needed to take a nice refreshing shit but the toilet was covered in crap. I was touching clothe so I couldn't walking 10 minutes into time to take a shit there in one of the lovely chlamydia ridden seats so I took drastic measures...
I shat in a bag.
The first part was solid but the second was runny and it seeped out of the paper bag. Luckily I managed to quickly place tissue under the dripping turd. I then managed to clench enough to get a plastic bag underneath and then I continued. The smell was immense, so I got another plastic bag and wrapped the steaming turds up.
The builders then left only 10 minutes later, if only I "held" on then I would have saved the embarrassment of my Mrs walking in on me in the bedroom.
The moral of the story is to not use paper bags and to make sure that a bag is doubled before pooping.