How do you respond to telemarketers?

[Kalisiin]

My wife used to be a telemarketer. The things some people would do or say were awful, and the job was so stressful she had health problems from it. She quit and never regretted it. So I am polite, tell them no thank you and hang up.

THAT is why I do it the way I do. I used to be a telemarketer, too. It's the absolute bottom of the job heap - I'd rather die than do that job ever again. MY way...gives the person on the other end of the phone a much-deserved, and probably much-needed break - I'm surprised my record isn't higher than just 8 minutes 23 seconds.

By the way, I also did market-research surveys...you know, opinion polling on the phone. THAT isn't quite nearly as bad as telemarketing...in fact, I even sometimes will take the survey from someone calling. If I happen to be interested enough in the subject matter, I'll take it. Provided they then do not keep me for more than, say, ten minutes. After that, you're playing with fire, because I'll hang up if your poll is too damned long.

 

[Banger]

just tell them the person they are calling for is dead, they say sorry and don't call back

 

[BORTZ]

just tell them the person they are calling for is dead, they say sorry and don't call back

ive heard of people getting in serious trouble for that. I used to have a book with a whole slew of responses. they were awesome.

 

[Issac]

My dad fucks with them a lot.

Them: "Hi we're calling from xyz inc. and want to know if..."
Dad, interupting: "I'm sorry, I don't have time for this call since I'm fucking with your mother right now"

EPIC

Epic indeed! He always does something like that. I wish I had the balls to do the same, but I'm always polite.

I can't stand it though, since they never take no for an answer.

-ring-
me: "tim?"
them: "Hi timmy"
me: "..hi"
them: "what's up? are you having a nice evening? something good to eat, drink? some company?"
me: ".. yeah, sure"
them: "I'm calling from xyz inc. and want to know if you want to get this xzx stuff"
me: "uh, no I'm sorry, i'm not interested"
them: ".. Why not?!"
me: "cause I don't need the xzx stuff"
them: "have you thought about the benefits of it + adding reason 1 2 and 3"
me: "yes, and i'm perfectly happy without it"
them: "may I ask why you don't want it?" (This in a very rude tone, like "Why the fuck? are you a moron or what?")
me: "because i'm not interested in that"
them: "who isn't interested in this?!?! It will save you money!"
me: "no it won't since I dont use that enough" (for example some cell phone subscription)
them: "eh, why not?"
me: "Please, I'm not interested okay?"
them: "why aren't you intersted?"
me: "I've had enough"
them: "ok -click-"

that's what usually happens here when they call.... therefore deserve to be treated rude!

 

[Man18]

I say hell yea call again, whats your information so I can give you credit if I buy and say whoops Im on the no call list im going to call in your name so you will get your fine HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

most of the time I dont pick it up.

 

[Banger]

just tell them the person they are calling for is dead, they say sorry and don't call back

ive heard of people getting in serious trouble for that. I used to have a book with a whole slew of responses. they were awesome.

I never have and I dont see how

 

[Guild McCommunist]

The 1980's called, they want their problems back.

Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.

But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.

 

[iFish]

The 1980's called, they want their problems back.

Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.

But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.

i dont have caller id! Dont assum everybody has caller id guild...

 

[ProtoKun7]

I once got followed by a Christian because I told them I didn't believe in God. He followed me until I got home and then had the cheek to knock on my door until I answered... which was followed by a half an hour lecture.
Also got followed by a salesman too.

EDIT: I'm just going to delete this stuff. I feel as though it might start a flame war.

Spoiler

So not going to use the "it must've been a Mormon" crack then?

 

[Jakob95]

I press the number 2 on my phone.

 

[Issac]

The 1980's called, they want their problems back.

Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.

But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.

So if your friend run out of money on his cellphone, and ask one of his friends to borrow theirs, you won't answer? If the hospital calls (with hidden caller ID) to re book your time to an earlier date because of double booking, you won't pick up? If someone new in your life calls you (and you don't know their number) you won't answer? If the police finds your kid dead in a bush somewhere with your telephone number on a tag on their clothes, you won't pick up?

 

[Danny Tanner]

I used to work as a telemarketer for about two years. The best part was that lots of people thought they had some witty retort, but they said the SAME JOKES as everyone else. Seriously, none of them were original or funny.

I used to be a dick to them though. Sometimes we'd have to call a timezone between 8-10 pm (which is legally when you are allowed to in the US) and I'd be pretty giddy when I woke someone up. We used to see who could wake the most people up during these late ones. One time a lady was really really rude, so I wrote down her number and called her on my own time on my phone like 3-4 times just to bug her LOL.

So yeah, you probably have good reason to hate telemarketers.

 

[bazamuffin]

I just start pressing random numbers (holding each digit for a second or two) in between their pitch

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

Lots of my friends have worked for call-centers and telemarketing companies.
I get to hear about all the shit they've been put through, so most times I'll interrupt their schpiel just as kindly as possible, tell them I'm not interested in whatever they're selling, and wish them a pleasant day.

The cool ones will leave it at that, and go on to the next number on their list.
The assholes will keep pitching their product.

If they begin hard-selling me, then I start fucking with them.

My favorite game is "You sound cute. What are you wearing?"
followed closely by "I no can be speak of very good the English. (with a perfect American accent)"
If you can tell that they're being forced to be assholish by their company (as many of them are) then you can use "My Hovercraft is full of Eels"

If they get rude, give them an earful of language that could make a sailor blush.

 

[Gore]

I bet half of the people are lying here

For fucking real.

First post is from George Carlin I think.
Then tons of posts from 13 and 14-year-olds with lies about things they think would be funny to say to them.

If I ever got a telemarketer I'd just hang up most likely.

 

[Guild McCommunist]

The 1980's called, they want their problems back.

Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.

But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.

So if your friend run out of money on his cellphone, and ask one of his friends to borrow theirs, you won't answer? If the hospital calls (with hidden caller ID) to re book your time to an earlier date because of double booking, you won't pick up? If someone new in your life calls you (and you don't know their number) you won't answer? If the police finds your kid dead in a bush somewhere with your telephone number on a tag on their clothes, you won't pick up?

Christ, I'm 16, do you think ANYONE calls me? I don't schedule doctor's appointments and my friends don't have any money to run out of, nor would they borrow a friends cell phone to call me. You're taking this way too seriously, Christ be damned.

Also, when the police call, I'm pretty sure I'd know if it's the fucking police. I'm sure my call ID would say "THE POLICE" or something along those lines. And all the other issues are irrelevant or not important to me.

TBH, I don't even know if I get telemarketer calls. We're on the Do Not Call list in the US so a lot of junk doesn't go through.

 

[soulfire]

i worked at that kinda stuff cslling people

and i am glad that i haven't got what you guys do to them

mostly where nice people but the job still sucks

 

[iFish]

TBH, I don't even know if I get telemarketer calls. We're on the Do Not Call list in the US so a lot of junk doesn't go through.

we are on that list aswell here here in canada.. well my house is

 

[Uncle FEFL]

"No, I'm not 18. No, my mom's not home. OK, bye."

That's before I had caller ID, anyway. Or BEFORE I looked at who's calling. Now I do what Guild does; I ignore.

 

[PettingZoo]

I usually just the the phone idle or say no thank you and hang up