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ShinyJellicent12

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Okay
The dark clouds drifted through the sky, obscuring the white sliver of moon perched in the air. A soft, radiant glow emerged from a green flower. The light emanated, gently pulsing. Soon, a dozen flowers began mimicking the green flower. Gradually, the whole field lit up the night. A precious emerald descended from the midnight sky. The flowers subsided their ceremonious harmony. Beams of azure light shot from the night, circling around the jewel. All of a sudden, the representative of willpower disappeared, leaving no remnants of the ceremony. The choosing ceremony.
I watched the Green Lantern yesterday, so yeah.
 

Sterling

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@helloworld12321: It's certainly descriptive, but not a definitive example of your ability. I'm going to need a longer short, whether you choose to be descriptive of a scene, or define clear characters to tell a story. I'll need at least 250, to 300 words. I would appreciate it if you took your time on it and spell and grammar check it as well.
 

ShinyJellicent12

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Ok. This time, I guess I'll just write a poem (hopefully, it'll be good enough)
It's based on Wrecking Crew
---
It’s (a) me, Mario!
I’m going abroad,
To break down the construction site in Donut Land
I don’t want Spike Foreman to be there,
He is very baleful and uses his mallet to smash the breakable ladders I’m on!
I was trying to get the head of our team to chasten the man,
But I am told, “You shouldn’t punish someone if they aren’t corrected! Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill!”
Someone should put a bit of knowledge into our chairman’s mind,
To edify him and teach him the ways of the world
I want to be fervent while working,
But my enemies won’t let me
My premise is, “Why do they let Gotcha Wrenches/Eggplant Wizards in the site?”
But no one seems to listen!
Eggplant Wizards are OK,
Only that they are annoying when they stun me and I lose a life
Gotcha Wrenches are the most inept of all
They are unsuitable in a construction site since they just walk like springs,
I think the Purple breed is a little dumb,
But those Red ones are lofty, and they are cunning when lofty
This matter should be taken to our local government
Most people call it, “The Municipal”
But I always get the same response, even from my pedigree
My loving family says, “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill!”
So alas, I go abroad
To continue my work, which I’m paid about $100,000,000,000,000!
 

Sterling

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@helloworld12321: Is that lyrics, or a poem? I'm also not understanding what the subject is about. It seems like you just tacked Mario into a work that wasn't meant for him. Your previous attempt a couple posts above was great, I just think it's too short for me to gauge your potential. I wanted you to write a short narrative, whether or not you choose to create characters and tell a story, or describe a scene is up to you. 250 - 300 words minimum.
 

ShinyJellicent12

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This is my new story, which is about 390 words. It's my version of how Reptile came into UMK3
Jay walked casually through the woods. He’d escape his dismal home and relax in the forest. He always assured himself that there will be no danger. Not until now, though. As he listened to the soothing melody of the forest, an eerie atmosphere swept the clean air with a power-packed punch of dullness. Jay flinched at the sudden change. All of a sudden, a radiant glow emerged from a nearby flower. One by one, the flowers emanated a green wave. The trees started to deteriorate, and a grotesque face appeared on each one. Jay didn’t notice he was sinking into a neon green pool. “Help!” Jay exclaimed. His words sank down with him. After being sucked in by the pool, Jay found himself lying in a hospital bed in a place he’d never seen. An anesthetic plunged deep into Jay’s neck, and fell into a deep slumber. “Ugh, where am I?” Jay moans. His head was pounding, and his heart was beating as if he had completed a thousand push-ups and crunches individually. He slowly rose, and looked in a mirror. He had a black and green suit that covered his whole body. A mask was pulled over his head, only leaving slits for his eyes and nose. Something felt different about his face, though. “Maybe if I take this mask off?” Jay asks himself. This was not a good idea. “AAH!” Jay exclaims as he looks at his deformed head in the mirror. He had the face of an alligator. “Ah, I see you’ve already awoken, Reptile.” A man who had the same suit as Jay, only yellow, appeared. “You must have many questions, but this will answer it.” The man held up a letter. The letter stated that he had been chosen to replace the old Reptile because he was killed in Mortal Kombat 2, and didn’t return in Mortal Kombat 3. He had three look-alikes, which are returning in Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. His look-alikes included Scorpion (yellow) , Sub-Zero (blue), and Human Smoke (gray). “So that means you are Scorpion?” Reptile inquires. “Yes. Sub-Zero and Human Smoke will be here momentarily, and then we shall start training for the UMK3. Got it?” Scorpion replies. “Yes.” Reptiles states. And it was only moments before they started preparing to defeat their competitors in the thrilling redo of Mortal Kombat 3.
 

Sterling

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@helloworld12321: You are creative, I'll give you that, but I have sent you a pm detailing my concerns.

Here is my short story today:


Trees stand lifeless and intimidating. Cracks and bellows personify their suffering in the cold. It is not forever though. Flowers growing, blooming in the spring. Trees full of life again, their scars heal and thicken. Animals dart here and there, small, large and wild. Through the drought and heat things die and water dries. Before the cool begins anew, and the living shed their life in preparation for the renewal that will come. These are the untouched lands of the northern forests. Savage and unforgiving in the Winter. Calm and sightly in the Spring. Harsh, wild, and tough in the Summer. Cool, fresh and ever changing in the Fall. The cycle of independence, chaos and peace all in one. Ever changing regardless of intervention. These are the untamed wilds, and they will hopefully always be this way. Beautiful, Bountiful and deadly. Nature weaves a tapestry of creation, destruction, and harmony. All is well, and in perfect order. We as a race squander the beauty of nature, when we should conserve and protect our surroundings. We bend nature to our will only through destruction and creation, but we cannot bring harmony to our tracts of land.
 

Shinigami357

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Yea, so since my short story doesn't look like it's gonna be ready any time soon, I'll just post a poem I made back when I was still a sophomore [ahh, the good days].


Amidst all the noise, haste and confusions
Along the days, work and conversations
Distinguishing truth from mere illusions
In a world of many misdirections

People not trusting and unbelieving
Some unfeeling, uncaring, unloving
What can it be that they are all fearing
Something that they are afraid of being

Concerns, woes, fears and secrets unspoken
Lies, insults, death and sins unforgiven
All result in sorrow, fear and loathing
Negates all good in a human being

Wars, drudgery and terror everywhere
People unconcerned, lenient, unaware
Can we stop this before it is too late
Or surrender to this horrible fate

Not really my best poem, so far as I know...

PS
I wrote this with -sions, -tions and -nient counted as one syllable, so as to get a uniform 10 syllables per line... Not qute sure if those are the proper syllabication...
unsure.gif
 

shyam513

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Seeing as Shinigami357 was doing some of his old stuff, I decided to upload a poem I wrote at 14 - not my best, but it's okay.

Ice is just one’s distant memory,
Fire yet an eon away,
But there rests a time between them,
Just as one between night and day.
The morning wind hums its gentle melody,
A quiet song of life it plays,
It carries the eternal power of life anew,
As the dawn approaches these spring days.
Two bluebirds look from an elder tree,
They keep their own songs soft,
They join the gently singing wind,
And their song is borne aloft.
The song of life is sung once more,
To greet the twilight’s stare,
By birds and beasts and plants and trees,
With all the worlds love and care.
Warmth lives in every note,
As the sun’s light does stun,
The birds and beasts now quiet their song,
The day has now begun.
The birds begin their menial tasks,
Their outlook now is bright,
The spring has touched both their hearts,
As they once more wait for twilight.
 

Sterling

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OP has been updated. New challenge and recognized member.

@Shyam: I love your poem. I'll put it in the OP.
 

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Hi guys. I have been totally busy for the last week or so and have not been able to participate in the guild. That said, I will try to remain a little more active now and to show that, I finally have a new piece of work to show you all. Its based upon the task Sterling set this week. Enjoy.

Its my hill.
A dark green bench stands stoically at the top of my hill. Despite the beams being different lengths, causing a slope to one side, it retains its dignity, not caring for what others think of it. It may be weathered and worn by the elements but its vibrancy remains.
Over my bench, on my hill, a large tree looms, old and gnarled by age. It has weathered the same as the bench and remains standing, tall and proud. The cold wind whips through its branches, setting of a keening noise that exists right on the edge of hearing, obscure yet ever-present. You would not notice unless you were already told about it.
All this is situated upon my hill. A single dirt path, worn down by countless feet, permeates the knee high grass that sweeps and bends in the breeze. The slope is gentle on all sides, allowing relative access for all of those who wish to visit. But be weary if you ascend, as my tree has cast its roots far and wide, ripping the earth up at whim.
My hill extends ever down wards, its dry yellow grass, carpeting the surface with a warm, vibrant glow. Small trees appear in patches, dotting the yellow backdrop with bursts of dull green. Animals roam the hillside, kangaroos peppering the vista with heads cocked curiously to a side as they hear a noise.
My hill is actually not a single peak, but a duo. Its sister lies 200m to the west with a path winding downwards and then up again, joining them. This is what I see from my window, framed against the translucent window frame in my room.
In the mornings my hills are the cradle for the rising sun, as it hits the sky and bursts to flames, raining warmth and light upon me.
This is the hill I love. And its all mine.
 

shyam513

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Okay, this little bit's in response to Sterling's new challenge, but first,

@Edgedancer I think your piece is excellent, and uses language well - I can almost see the place in my mind, with the tree and path.

Okay, now for my description:
The sun was setting, sending a deep pink and yellow glow across the cloudless sky. A cool breeze, softly rustling the leaves in the trees and the grass under my feet wound its way through the air. I looked at the deserted meadow, and all one could see was grass, trees and the setting sun. I lay on the soft grass, feeling the wind flow through the air, and the warmth of the dusk in front of me, with no sound but the gentle rustle of falling leaves, like paper softly strewn from a child's hand. The soft scent of the wildflowers, mixed with the more stately musk of pine cones, just fallen under the autumn breeze flowed through the meadow, and thus, the meadow remained, perhaps for all eternity
 

Sterling

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Very good both of you. I feel like I'm in those places. Wind, and breeze in my face. The warmth of the sun heating, and fading. Exactly what I wanted from the challenge.

@Edgedancer: No worries mate. I know you have been busy.
 

ShinyJellicent12

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If it's ok with you, can I try a poem instead?
If not, I'll stick with the prompts. I have the prompt one pretty much ready, but if I could do a poem it would be great.
biggrin.gif

--
Also, I've been really busy with graduation etc., so my Temp activity will be a little down until next Wednesday.
I graduate on Monday, but school ends on Tuesday.
 

KingdomBlade

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My, uh, story for the challenge.

This was an empty place. No windows, no doors, no light or darkness. It was as if the place was separated from the world. One could move, but where? There were no walls, no ceilings and no floors, one could move forward, backward, and could even move upward. One did not have a shadow. When a sound was made, no one, not even the maker of the sound could hear it. It just went farther and farther, like it had nothing to bounce around from.

When a hand pushed against the emptiness, it would feel nothing. No air, no gas, and no feeling. One doesn't need to breathe or blink, like living and existence was some sort of a blurred concept. Nothing and anything was possible. Existing in the place wasn't even a certainty. One was simply there because that was what he knew. Matter and physics did not exist, this was where nothing and everything met.

There were no distractions, no birthday parties, no annoying neighbors, no reports due on Monday, no sexual struggles, no global warming, no blind love, no 6'o'Clock news, no presidential elections, no religious wars, no cancer, no exploding cars, no huge traffic, no hurricanes, no watermelons, no babies and no people. Nothing mattered. Emotion, aspirations, morals, values and laws were non-existent.

There was nowhere to head to. The room does not exist anywhere, it is in the middle of nowhere but everywhere. Nothing was in front or behind.

Where do we go when we die?
 

Shinigami357

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Yay, we're allowed to make a scene!!! Owait...
unsure.gif


Anyway, without further ado...

The night sky was a showcase of the universe's treasures. Unlike the city, where smog, skyscrapers and bright lights interfered, here there were only clouds, and tonight there were none of them. The moon, tonight in its crescent form, shone with its distinct, otherworldly light. Beside it, Venus twinkled, as beautiful as any of the multitudes of stars on display. And speaking of stars, it seemed that all of them were rejoicing at this rare opportunity to present themselves to mortal eyes. Here and there, constellations could be spotted, chief among them Ursa Major. Near it, Ursa Minor can be found, Polaris shining proudly as it points north. The beautiful dark canvas was undisturbed save for some birds and a plane high up, making its way west.

The wind started to pick up, and the grass swayed. The branches of the surrounding trees shook, and some leaves drifted off into the breeze. A faint but sweet smell of newly-bloomed flowers filled the clearing. The wind died down, and for a moment, it was peaceful again. And then they appeared.

Drifting across the horizon, spots of light danced around, as though vying for attention. They flew around, spreading their light across the clearing in indistinguishable patterns. Between the moon, stars and the fireflies was created a show of light unmatched by any artificial neon, strobe or laser lights elsewhere. Birds perched on nearby trees added their vocalizations, as if to add to the beautiful atmosphere.

The near-magical serenity was broken as a thin, concentrated beam of light descended from the dark night's sky. It lingered only for a second, as if trying to make one doubt it ever existed, but such doubts were soon erased, as another beam of light, this one nearer, follows. The succession of these beams of light is temporarily driven out of the mind as the plane falls down toward the earth, a blazing ball of fire.

The nearby birds fly off in every direction imaginable, the hurried flapping of their wings soon masked as the remains of the plane crashes and explodes, mere miles away. Meanwhile, the beams of light continue to rain down, each one getting nearer. One lands yards away, and a dark figure steps out of it as soon as it vanishes. The last thing one sees is a descending flash of light, as the figure unleashes some sort of weapon.

Darkness.


Yes, I set up that scene only to destroy it... Ah...
evil.gif



EDIT: Too many damn commas.
hate2.gif
 

shyam513

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@Shinigami That bit at the end made me laugh - nice job!

@Kingdomblade Dark, but powerful - I really liked the use of the questions, they really seemed to emphasize the aura of "not knowing" - an excellent piece.

Also, I figured I may as well apply for a reviewer position, so;

Username: Shyam513 - always has been
Languages: English is third, but been speaking it snce 6
Fairly Active, I look in daily
I try and write a little everyday
If we're talking all my reviews, it's probably around 6 or 7
I'm more into book reviews, so I'm gonna stick one I did recently here:

Northern Lights Book Review

Northern lights, despite being a book written a decade and a half ago, still holds every reader who stumbles across it firmly glued to it pages. With the addition of two sequels, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass a few years later, more and more readers have ventured into the mystical world of Dust and Angels, to see what secrets lay in the Northern Lights.

Storyline:
The storyline is an epic twisting journey, beginning in the Oxford of ages past, with an attempted poisoning unfolding in the first few pages, moving to the ice-covered fields of the north, where battle and adventure await Lyra in countless other worlds. The storyline has not lost its gripping power over time, and readers of all ages will remain entranced over the pages of Northern Lights
Storyline: 10/10

Characters:
Northern Lights features several well raised characters, with the main protagonist, Lyra Belacqua, being portrayed as a young girl with a penchant for trouble, whilst the main antagonist, Mrs Coulter, is shown to be a cold-hearted, ruthless woman, who delights in the process of severing children from their Dæmons, small friendly companions of everyone who lives in Lyra’s world. With Lyra’s dæmon Pantalaimon always ready to throw in his opinion on the situation, the characters are never silent in this book. Aside from a few “wooden”, cliché moments that the characters have, the characters are excellently made.
Characters: 8.5/10

Setting:
The settings in this book are lavishly described, with the austerity of the Jordan College retiring room smoothly flowing into the more easy-going, simple life upon a Gyptian barge, which in turn flows into a luxuriant palace of gold and marble, inhabited only by bears – no matter which way you turn, the setting is laid out before your eyes so well, you can almost imagine you are there.
Setting: 9.5/10

Overall:
This book has been lauded as one of the best works of English literature, and I have to say, from reading it myself, it’s not hard to see how it gets that title. With settings so vibrant that visualising them is easy, to characters so realistic that they almost seem alive, the book portrays everything that English Literature holds to be excellent.
Overall Rating: 9.5/10
 

Sterling

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@Shinigami357: Nice, I love your scene. Just goes to show you that Chaos is only fleeting while serenity is forever.

@Shyam: I'd welcome you to the ranks of the Guild, but you are welcome already. When we get a few more reviewers, we'll start doing to writer courtesy service. Critics are very much welcome.

Here is my description for the weekly challenge.
Rain clouds gather. A flash! Thunder shatters the calm. The storm has arrived. Foot falls, fall faster. Running as if at their very heels were the Devil himself. They're not scared, but no one likes to have to dry off. The drizzle starts, and slowly the drops gather momentum, forcing larger drops to pelt the pavement until there was no place for dry to hide. Foot falls gather, faster and faster. A door slams, and another and another. Announcing the safety achieved. Only one pair of feet remained. The small forehead looking to the sky. Staring. Unblinking. As if daring the heavens to rend and unleash the torrent. He soon got his wish. He stayed for but a moment before the torrent drenched his little body. Shivering and shaking, he beat a hasty retreat to the nearby forest.

As he crosses the threshold the rain and fury quiets. Settling to a dull roar. Muffled with ease by the strong trees. The child moved deeper into the wood. Staring and listening in wonder at the sounds of the forest that mixed and mingled with the rain. A drip here, and a grunt there. A veritable waterfall fell into the once dry stream bed. Rekindled, it slithered along as if it always had. Croaking ensues as small frogs emerge from the soaked land. Their will tempered again by the falling forgiveness. Even as the boy grew father from the entrance, his doubt did not mount. The sight that greeted him incited awe and wonder at the beauty and splendor. A clearing behold, flooded with light, beauty so bright. A rainbow leaped from edge to edge, and a second one chased merrily. A sight to remember.
 

Nujui

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I'm gonna write some more of that story involving this weeks challenge, here's what I have so far.

"Dad, where have you been?"
As the light dimmed, I found myself standing on warm, smooth grass instead of cold hard cement and refreshing brezze filled the air as the trees rustle and leaves moved about. My memory of what just transpired only moments ago was suddenly washed away from my memory...and suddenly new ones come rushing in...

"Dad? Are you alright?"

I shake my head and look at my "son", my mouth and mind are telling me "Yes, I'm fine son, just thinking about...things." But my heart is telling me a different story

I'll put more in tomorrow, feel free to review what I have.
 
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