Still can't tell if obtuse or stupid.
Having an image no more means you own a game than having downloaded a ROM of it if we are going to go for an example more familiar to around here.
For you the best part might be a hyperlink, entirely your prerogative there. I would take the concept of ownership of an instance of a work instead. That applies regardless of the perils of URL shortening and reuse of letter combos. If your particular example is only the ownership of the URL then that speaks to an implementation issue.
Proof of ownership could get tricky if various courts get involved (a judge would struggle to break crypto the same as the ancient king failed to turn back the tide) but it is compelling the same way as a notarised series of documents conferring a change in ownership would be compelling*, to the point you would have to challenge the transaction as inauthentic. How this gets resolved in band, out of band and where the two shall meet (never mind if your network has provisions for this -- there was that network where the stakeholders revolted and could do something about it, and several bitcoin exchanges at least won't recognise certain known to be stolen addresses).
*or to take it to a closer equivalent to this a series of emails signed with my RSA key, however in this case rather than having to send a subpoena/anton piller order/whatever to AOL to get their logs it is all there for the perusal of parties involved and anybody else that is bored enough to look.
I don't think centralised means what you think it means. Everything stays decentralised and ongoing in whatever transaction chain forms the blockchain of choice. If we need to then we grab the data, or subsection thereof, and verify accordingly.
There is plenty specific owned with a NFT. Make a contract with something of the effect of
The owner of this token is the sole owner of the file with the hash blah, at time of creation could be viewed on url (an entirely optional aspect of this by the way), item can be sold, given away or disposed of as the owner sees fit. Maybe a colloquial description if the hash is not enough/it benefits the particular instance. Probably get some other legal crap if you wanted but frankly a file hash is probably enough for the basic implementation, a pokemon one to take it back to the thread originator might well include the option for it to grow and gain experience as it is easy enough to add data to things/change additional data/make it part of a chain.
If your examples or history with them fails to include something to that effect then that is an implementation issue with a specific take or takes, not a failure of the concept at large. Such a thing goes well beyond a simple link and its abilities as well.
On the charge of inefficient. Indeed you probably could do a broad equivalence as some dude with a mysql server, albeit with the same lack of robustness problems and others that have been detailed, and have it run on far less. Fortunately we live in a world with enough resources for a bit of decadence, and the perks the distributed method might afford could well be what someone is inclined to go in for (probably not you given your protests, for what it is worth I similarly see minimal value for myself but I can at least look to examples in the world and see people enjoying such things a lot, very much to the point of them parting with not inconsiderable funds).
On porn avoiding blockchain... they embraced payments with it quite well when visa, mastercard, paypel et al without a sense of irony got on the moral high horse and made it an arseache to do anything with them. Similarly if they have not embraced such things for custom videos then super massive missed trick there. Equally just because it has historically been a driving force for adoption in certain things (though I might question blu ray in your little list) does not mean it will be as time goes on, saturation maybe having already been achieved.
I think that was everything in your rant covered, and if nothing else a potential use case and value established that is going to be hard to dismiss. Time to go watching something interesting as I await what the day brings.