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Lucky you! Makes sense if they told you it was old stock.
1. No, that's not normal. I've had mine for almost a year now and the Game Pad is silent while being carried or waved around.
2. Set up TubeHax DNS on your Wii U for Primary DNS. I can't stress this enough. Guide near the top of the OP. I highly so not recommend OpenDNS, but if you want to take that gamble, at least do it on the Secondary DNS slot.
1. Yeah, that's not normal. I got my Wii U from my wife's best friend, and although it was 2 years old, it hasn't made any noise at all. If you don't care about your warranty, you could open it up and remove whatever is moving around in there. I don't know if it uses standard screws or not; I'd have to look when I get home.
2. Diddo. ONLY if you MUST have YouTube access, then TubeHAX is THE way to go. It works for me, as I still don't have my URL blocking up for a secondary buffer.