GBAtemp Writers' Guild

[Sterling]

So, um... Seeing as it's been nearly a week since my last post, hopefully the mods will excuse me for double-posting, seeing as nobody's posted in between, hehehe.

So, uh, finished chapter 1 of B,G,C. It's still divided into 5 parts, but two of those are further divided into three parts [where the second is a flashback, featuring Allius' gramps and a spot of magical trapping]. Also, more action in this chapter, featuring a shadow binder against gold chain-level fire, water and blood mages, a freaking wide river, a long wooden bridge and sunlight that doesn't seem to want to cooperate [with Allius, anyway, in case you were cheering for the 'bad' guys]. I'll unfocus, refocus, edit, then prob post it here later on, hehehehe.

Anyway... how is everyone else? Been reading a lot of stuff mostly [a lot of fanfic, yes; it's fascinating how people can relate comic book characters using just words]. Happy 2013, to everyone, btw...

We're stickied, so double posts don't matter as much. I remember one time I posted like 5 times in a row and nobody said anything. I'm okay. Though I haven't written much more. I made my first literotica in the past month. It was pretty good I think lol. I'm still running through stuff in my head on how I should structure my books. It's going to be a trilogy with fourth and final book detailing the end of the human race.

 

[Shinigami357]

We're stickied, so double posts don't matter as much. I remember one time I posted like 5 times in a row and nobody said anything. I'm okay. Though I haven't written much more. I made my first literotica in the past month. It was pretty good I think lol. I'm still running through stuff in my head on how I should structure my books. It's going to be a trilogy with fourth and final book detailing the end of the human race.

I'm sure you mean 'erotica'... Literotica is a site, IIRC.

Also, I think you should just write it as it goes. The thing about a series is that you're usually having to go and change what happens next when another idea falls out of idea-land. This is apparently why The Dark Tower and ASOIAF took so long [or in the case of GRRM's magnum opus, is taking so long].

 

[Sterling]

I'm sure you mean 'erotica'... Literotica is a site, IIRC.

Also, I think you should just write it as it goes. The thing about a series is that you're usually having to go and change what happens next when another idea falls out of idea-land. This is apparently why The Dark Tower and ASOIAF took so long [or in the case of GRRM's magnum opus, is taking so long].

I do, but I feel literotica is the better word (being literature and erotica combined). Probably isn't correct but it's okay.

 

[Shinigami357]

So... As promised, Chapter 1 of B,G,C. Notes afterward, and also, since the chapter's broke up into more than a couple of parts, a short bullet list [table of contents], too, so as not to make it too confusing, lol.

Spoiler: 1.1 [Heat]

Getting away was the easy part; even gold chain-level fire mages were unable to look everywhere, especially at night. Nights, especially when the sky was clear and the moonlight strong, was when Allius made the most progress. He hunted - it’s what he did before he was found to be practicing shadow magic - what he could, and never had a problem finding food. His strength - his power - was coming back.
Meanwhile, what little talk he heard indicated that Sirvu’s plan had, for the most part, succeeded. He - and anyone else who was still practicing shadow magic - was to be apprehended ‘by any means necessary’, whereas a recently appointed gold chain was said to be a blood mage, much like Sirvu. Keisen’s death had left Sirvu as the only magiciar, though some wild rumors were still flying about a possibility of another magiciar being named soon.
Practically the only thing that went awry in Sirvu’s plan was his oversight of not being prepared to defend himself. He had to still be hurt somewhat, Allius reasoned, if he wasn’t personally leading the hunt. Then again, Sirvu’s influence was growing by the day, and perhaps the man had learned to be more cautious.
With that said, however, Allius didn’t have the time to worry about anything other than those pesky fire mages hot on his trail. ‘Hot’ on his trail, literally - he could feel them all too easily. It was as if they were trying to psych him out, knowing that their magic had an ‘advantage’ over his. Allius had to admit they did, at the moment.
So Allius snuck around and bided his time.

Spoiler: 1.2 [It's a trap]

Allius munched on a piece of deer meat as he walked. Every once in a while, he would stop, look around, then change direction slightly before moving on. He had taken down the deer the other day and preserved some of the meat, leaving the carcass to curious predators, scavengers… and fire mages who were out hunting. It was a risk he had no choice but take, or risk starvation.
Allius popped the last morsel into his mouth, his jaws working. He had - unsurprisingly - not eaten well while in captivity. Keisen had appeared not just wary and apprehensive about his existence, Allius thought; Keisen seemed scared. The ex-grand sage had been scared enough that he never thought to watch his back. It didn’t really make sense to Allius, who knew that Keisen had little trouble stopping him, and did so twice.
His musings were interrupted by perhaps half a dozen birds taking flight in a loose group, less than a hundred meters from the south. Allius spun toward that direction, watching. The birds scattered in three different directions, but none of them circled back. Allius faced to the north, then to the west, where he was heading, and decided to go north-west.
As he ran, the shadows formed over his clothes - he’d stolen some before escaping - until he was again robed in black. Ahead of him, the trees were thinning, and he could hear a steady gurgling. He burst out into the riverbank, and stopped. Before him, the river gurgled along happily, too wide, too deep, the current too fast for him to risk trying to cross it. There was a small wooden bridge, further down along the riverbank - to the south. Allius shook his head; he’d been herded there.
They were coming, he knew that much. He didn’t know who, how many, from which direction, or what kind of magic they knew… but he knew they were coming. A smile alighted on his lips; two can play that game. With unnatural calm, Allius scooted down and started to tap small rocks and pebbles, walking backward in a zigzag as he went.

Spoiler: 1.2.1 (flashback)

“See these tracks, Allius?”
The young boy squatted down to the ground, the better to inspect the spot. “Yes, grandpa,” he said.
“Everyone needs water. Animals need them too. Now, even an inexperienced trapper can catch an animal without having to find where the animals live.”
“Because animals will always go near water?” the young boy asked.
“Yes. Predators do it, too. This place is a prime ambush location. Now, watch. This is simple flora magic, see?”
The young boy watched his grandfather manipulate a wide leaf that was lying down on the ground. “What does it do?”
“Well, the technique differs. Others use thorny vines or very sticky leaves. It is my preference to use wood. Now, let’s leave it here, shall we?”
The young boy looked up to his grandfather, smiling, and nodded. The two of them walked away, leaving an otherwise innocent leaf on the ground.
“So are you going to teach me how to do that, grandpa?” the young boy was saying as he held on to the old man’s hand.
The old man laughs, and soon they are too far away, their voices washed away by the rush of the river current.

Spoiler: 1.2.2

Allius sensed them before he heard them approach. Four at least, he gauged; four fire mages, and who knows who else went along for the hunt. He looked down at the small rocks and pebbles along the riverbank and smiled.
“Well, look who it is!”
Allius looked up. There were three of them, all with gold chains taut around their necks. One was in a bright orange robe, a fire mage; the other was in turquoise, a water mage. The other, who stood well behind, was in robes of scarlet, similar to Sirvu’s. Allius scoffed at the sight; the rumors were true.
“Shadow binder, huh? Not quite as good as I thought,” sneered the fire mage up front. He was either powerful or very talented to radiate as much as four mages would. “It seems I’ve caught you.”
Allius didn’t say a word, opting to take half a step back instead. His attention was centered on the blood mage at the very back. The fire mage inched a foot forward. Rocks and pebbles shot upward, shadows propelling them airborne, striking all three gold chains.
Allius turned to run, skipping past stones, when the river rose up, crashing down on him a moment later. Allius didn’t get wet; his shadow robes were water-proof. However, the force of the water crashing down activated his real traps. Spiky shadows emerged from under the rocks; anyone who stepped on them would have been badly mangled.
“Burn!” the fire mage exclaimed. Allius risked a glance over his shoulder; a hand-shaped burst of flames was flying toward him. His shadow robe dragged behind him, and with a twitch, it threw up the wet pebbles on the ground skyward. The pebbles bounced off the appendage-shaped flame, smoking; the flaming hand slowed down.
Allius slowed down, his shadow robes pooling at his feet. A moment later, he bounced skyward, the rest of his robes creeping along the ground following his shadow as he soared away. When he descended, the robes flared up, stretching into a net. He landed on the net, slowing down his descent; the shadows re-wrapped around him as he landed.
Allius could see the bridge just ahead of him. Behind him, the three gold chains were all far behind. Allius ran.

Spoiler: 1.3 [Abridge over troubled water]

Allius was a quarter of the way across the bridge spanning the river when he felt the heat growing. They were still after him. Grunting, he snatched a quick look at the sky. The sun was lazily heading westward, as it should, but thin clouds were coming in eastward; soon the clouds would obscure the sun, not for too long, but long enough to disadvantage him.
Allius pushed his legs harder. He had not anticipated that his traps could be triggered like that. He was a third of the way through the bridge when he heard the rumbling. A glance below showed the river bubbling, pooling up… as though preparing to strike.
He got his robes up just in time, as a torrent of water punched through the wooden planks. He skipped around the damaged area, trying to get as close as possible toward the opposite riverbank before the bridge gave way. Below, the water rumbled again, and Allius focused on timing it.
He had counted to nineteen - twenty, considering small inaccuracies - when the planks beneath him exploded outward. The water had shot up in a spiral, as opposed to a solid column as it did earlier. Allius shielded himself, but the effort cost him his bearings, and he found himself falling into the rushing river below.
His robes wrapped around him, part cocoon and part harness, as a strand of it snaked out, wrapping itself around a part of the bridge. His robes pulled him back up and Alius landed on the bridge, slightly winded. Nonetheless, he ran on, sensing the heat growing, as well as having counted halfway to five already; he did not have time to rest.
The count was eighteen. Allius, gasping for every breath, was halfway through the bridge. His robes snaked off him, slipping through the tiny gaps of the wooden planks. At the count of twenty, water crashed against the underside of the bridge, but other than jarring the slightly worn structure, the bridge remained unharmed. The fully-waterproof and nigh-indestructible robes had shielded the vulnerable wood underneath Allius.
Allius continued to run. Above him, the clouds had started to cover the sun.

Spoiler: 1.4 [Checkmate]

Allius bit back a curse as he felt the sunlight weaken; he was too short of breath to waste it on profanities. Below him, the water had stopped rumbling. His robes re-formed around him, easing his motion. Above and slightly to the west, the sun was a quarter of the way through the covering clouds.
Seemingly out of nowhere, Allius heard the unmistakable roar of flames. He neither saw nor smelled smoke ahead, so he risked a glance back, and saw flames creeping along the wooden bridge. “Damn them all!” he swore, unable to stop himself. Around him, his robes were starting to warp as it felt the presence of fire. Allius took a mental check of his lower extremities and forced a little more out of his screaming legs.
Two-thirds of the way across the bridge, the sun halfway through the clouds; Allius stopped cold in his tracks. The three gold chains were on the far bank. Panting, he doubled over, close to collapse. The bridge was starting to sag as the flames ate through its foundations; soon, the charred remain of the half behind Allius would crash into the river, and the other half would follow suit.
“Missed us?” the fire mage called out from the far bank.
“I didn’t know… this was… a race… to the far bank…” Allius wheezed. He winced as he looked further on, towards what would have been freedom. His robe slithered off him, crawling to the underside of the bridge again. A wind started up, blowing westward. “Ah, shit,” Allius said. Now the clouds would be going west, covering the sun again.
“Checkmate,” declared the fire mage on the far bank. “The grand mage wants you brought back alive… to face the murder of grand sage Keisen. Come along quietly, you’ll live a little longer.”
Behind him, Allius heard the splash as part of the burning bridge fell into the river. He chuckled to himself.

Spoiler: 1.4.1 (flashback)

The old man looked on at the bleeding deer as it struggled weakly. One of its hind legs had been impaled by numerous wooden barbs that grew out of the wide leaf they’d left behind as a trap. Behind him, his grandson peeked out.
“We… uh, caught it… right?” Allius asked his grandfather.
“Yes, Allius. Are you afraid?”
Allius looked at the pitiful animal; none of the predators had touched it, since animals had a general dislike of magic. “I… I feel bad.”
The old man nodded. “I know, Allius. But, this is how we trap and hunt.” He glanced down. “Don’t you want to learn it anymore?”
Allius looked up at his grandfather’s solemn face and shook his head. “No… I mean, yes, I still want to learn it… But, grandpa, I… I can’t…”
The old man shook his head, smiling. “I know, Allius. It’s ok. Now… let’s put it out of its misery.”
Allius nodded. He stepped out from behind the old man, the sun high above him.
A shrill cry echoed out.

Spoiler: 1.4.2

Allius stood up straight. Behind him, the bridge burned, the smokeless flames eating through the wood. He stepped back, toward the heat, the flames that his conjured robes shrank away from. In front of him, his shadow darkened as he got closer to the heat and light; it was a stark black, flickering figure.
On the far bank, the conjured robe had finished creeping under the bridge. The three gold chains were too engrossed watching Allius, trying to figure out what the shadow binder was planning, when the dark blob flew at them, flaring up like a fabric to cover them.
Allius smiled as he heard the cries out surprise from the far bank. He lifted his left hand, pointing it at the three gold chains; the arm seemed to convulse, then lock up. Finally, his arm fell against his side, limp and seemingly boneless. The shadow of his left arm, however, stayed in position and shot forward.
The water mage beat at the dark substance that was starting to wrap itself around his neck; his efforts were ineffectual. Beside him, the fire mage grunted and snapped his fingers; fire bloomed from his fingertips, and the dark tendrils crept back, as he knew they would. None of them saw the extending shadow of Allius’ left hand headed their way.
Allius’ left arm - bound in a shadow form - wound around the three struggling figures. It sought their shadows. The fire mage, who was using the flames on his hand to chase away the robes’ strangling tendrils, grunted when he noticed he could no longer move his hand. The dark tendrils crept up his neck again. Beside him, the water mage had collapsed, clawing at his throat, eyes bugging out, gasping for breath.
Allius grabbed the shadow of the fire mage’s arm with his shadow-locked arm, stopping him from using the conjured flames. Part of his robes had already withdrawn from the water mage’s corpse, to focus on the blood mage, who had somehow found a way to fight it off. The fire mage was struggling in his grip.
The fire mage eyed his dead colleague warily. They had underestimated the damned shadow binder, who had somehow found a way to use his own flames against him. Flames still sprouted from his fingertips, but he can’t use it to help himself, as his arm was locked. His other hand was busy beating away at the dark substance still trying to strangle him, and he had used too much energy setting the bridge on fire. “Give me a transfusion!” he cried out to his other companion.

Spoiler: 1.5 [The other side]

Allius felt it as it happened. He figured that the blood mage had a reason to be there, other than to observe for Sirvu. Normally, all the teachings said that blood does not carry magic from source to recipient; of course, those teachings had not included the school of blood magic. He withdrew his arm, as well as his robes. He glanced up; the winds had blown the clouds past the sun by then.
The fire mage inhaled deeply. Behind him, the blood mage withdrew his hand out from the folds of the bright-orange robes. The air around the fire mage started to shimmer as tremendous heat radiated off him. “Thanks,” he grunted.
Behind Allius, the flames started to intensify, changing color as it did. Whatever the blood mage did, it had evened out the tables and then some. He ran forward, away from the flames, to where the sunlight could produce a black shadow. The fingers of his left hand twitched as it unbound from the shadow.
“Time to burn,” the fire mage said as he saw Allius running toward them. The bridge starting from their side burst in green, enchanted flames. He prepared to incinerate Allius if the shadow binder emerged somewhere.
“The grand mage will not like it if the shadow binder were to perish here,” the blood mage stated flatly behind the fire mage.
“He just killed a gold chain. Do we have a choice?”
Their short conversation stopped abruptly as a dark, shadowy limb shot past them, grabbing a nearby tree. Moments later, a black-cocooned form flew toward the tree.
Allius landed, rolling on the ground, his robes protecting him from injury as he reeled himself toward the tree. He stood up, spinning to face his two remaining pursuers. His robes slithered off him again, vanishing in the underbrush and under the small stones.
“Not protecting yourself?” the fire mage asked, eyeing the ground, wary.
“He’s contacted the ‘other side’,” the blood mage supplied. The scarlet-robed mage stepped back “This is not good,” he added.
“It seems Sirvu’s been reading up, sharing the knowledge,” Allius said. “Let’s play.”
Before the two gold chains can move, the pebbles on the ground shot up again, like it did earlier. This time, however, the robe shot out from underfoot as well, wrapping itself around their legs.
Flustered, the fire mage conjured more flames at his fingertips, hoping to drive the dark tendrils away again. Beside him, the blood mage was saying something, but he got cut off as the tendrils reached his throat once again. He waved his hand over his legs… and the shadowy substance caught fire.
Allius just watched as the two gold chains screamed in pain while the pale violet flames ate through them. The flame mage eyed him hatefully while he exhausted his energies trying to put out the fire, doing the complete opposite, as the flames only spread further.
Allius turned his back to the charred remains of the two gold chains, huffing for breath.

Again, sorry for the formatting. I tried everything I could think of, none of which, sadly, worked out. Eh, well...

So, notes...

Spoiler: notes

- Allius' 'shadow robes' aren't made out of his shadow [though he can certainly use those, too, as illustrated here]. He just takes shadows around him, since using his own shadow is too risky. Usually, he'd just use shadows from 'the other side'.
- Also, the robes are part protection [akin to Gaara's passive sand shield in Naruto], part remote-controlled blob of shapeless [i.e. malleable, ductile, flexible etc] darkness, and partly like the venom symbiote from spiderman [without trying to overcome the host].
- It's alluded to before that shadow magic is weak against flame in general. This is because shadows shrink away from flames [not the heat or light, just the flames themselves]. However, it doesn't really have an effect on normal shadows, aside from making them flicker.
- The reason Allius' impromptu double assault worked [noting that he was using shadow magic whilst near a significant amount of fire] is because he got his robes far enough, and he reversed the process with his arm [i.e. he didn't bind the shadows to his arm; he bound his arm to the shadows]
- The basis of 'normal' shadow magic is in 'surfaces', since normal shadows are 2d images born from an opaque object blocking the light. Making the shadows solid [mostly 3d] is the hallmark for a good shadow mage [though to get to binder status, you'd have to get to the 'other side' first]
- 'Flora magic' [taken from 'flora and fauna', or plant and animal life] is a branch of 'nature magic' [you'd prob pass with thinking of this like druidic magic or something], focusing on, well, plant matter.
- Allius' gramps knows what his grandson is. This is lampshaded when Allius starts to voice doubts [about learning flora magic] and he says "I know". Also, he lets Allius finish off the wounded deer [offscreen, since I figured you've seen too many animals die in the story already].
- Allius' gramps [no name yet... help?] is dead, otherwise there'd be two of them on the run, and you really wouldn't want a good flora mage stalking around in a forest [basically, he's dead because the author thought to make life tougher on the main character]. Thankfully, he taught his grandson some tricks.
- There's supposed to be a small explanation at the end of 1.5 about the 'shadow flames' so to speak. I edited it out because it kind of didn't fit and sounded OOC. Basically, mages are taught the shadows shrink away from flames and don't burn. In the shadow plane, shadows don't give a crap about fire, and could combust magically, eating away at anything solid [i.e. anything that can cast a discernible shadow] that it happened to be on, and you can't put it out.
- The reason the fire mage seemed a little underpowered is because he had been radiating energy to intimidate Allius. Also, he's near a freakin' big river, so you could say he was disadvantaged somewhat by 'synergies' not agreeing with him, hehehehehe.
- The water mage's assault on the bridge is patterned after a skill in dota. Torrent, IIRC. Also, it was the water mage that allowed the trio to get across the raging river without using a bridge.
- Yes, the blood mage did the same thing Sirvu did to Keisen, except he wasn't trying to kill his companion. 'Transfusion' is exactly what you think it means.
- Also, yes, Allius is going to pay in the next few chapters for calling on the shadow plane when he was so weak. The term 'binder' does mean that if you bind something to you [or bind yourself to something] that you can't handle at the moment, you will regret it sooner or later.
- Um, if you're mind is now assaulted by images of big, black, waving tentacles... I'm sorry

Cheers. Gimme feedback, it, erm, feeds my creative drive. I'll prob introduce a new [read: female] character on the next chapter, though with the story I have in mind, I doubt I can still post it here, but we'll see. Also, it gives me an excuse to let Allius heal in the background while he's not the focus character.


PS

I'm still researching that character whose robes are made of shadow. So far, I've pegged it to be Raven [big surprise] of the teen titans, though it merits further research. I could just be confusing it with her 'soul self', hm...

 

[Shinigami357]

Hm... I'm totally bummed out and bored to all heck atm. A spot of sleep deprivation can do that to ya, hahahaha. I'll prob finish up chapter 2 of B,G,C after I've taken my daily 'sleep' [I hate sleeping more than 5 hours; mainly coz I think sleeping is just wasting my already short life span]. Updates on that later on, and I think I've managed to write it so I can post it here. It makes me have to keep working [something I read said that displaying your current work to an audience basically shames you into continuing, writer's block be damned]. Hopefully I can sleep, eat, finish, edit and post before my internet runs out in, uh, 12 or so hours...

Anyways... I'm not sure if we've touched about it, but, looking objectively [or is the right term 'subjectively'??? I'm gonna have to ask Merriam and Webster later] at your written [finished, unfinished, abandoned, etc] work thus far, what are some common things that just pop up, with or without you meaning it to pop up. Obviously, this is more obvious for those of us who write fiction prose, but some things, like rhyming [esp in poetry, songs], theme, atmosphere, or even stock phrases, words or references can count.

I'll start with mine, from the glaring to the less obvious...

Spoiler: long list

- My stories are dark

Pretty sure when someone specifically has to think of a way to write a 'dark' christmas story, it would be a glaring example, rofl. Suffice to say that, basically, I am of the opinion that dark prose is/can be just as good as all the 'feel good', upbeat stuff, even if the real world is rather shitty.

Of course, stuff I've posted here so far has to be carefully written [worded, edited... basically, whatever works] unless I want to get a taste of the banhammer or whatnot. I guess that's an annoying side to it, but I manage.

- Notes

Most of the stories I post have notes with annotations ranging from central to the story to mundane trivia. I think a fiction piece is better with a companion piece, and some authors do have forewords/afterwords or some such stuff.

- Names

My naming system [ assuming one exists] is just... broken. I'm like this in real life, too, preferring nicknames to actual names. As far s I can tell, this is due to 2 reasons. One, my main source of fiction back then was anime, whose characters have Japanese [or in case of localization, changed names] that were uncommon. Also, I don't socialize much, and thus, can't work past my little problem of being uncomfortable with them.

I usually spend close to 20-something minutes thinking, and then go "screw this" and pull something out of thin air. In the first story I seriously wrote, only the main character had a name [ two names, in fact, but no surname]; everyone else is referred to by a generic title or description, which kind of hampers the narrative some.

- Death

Well, the temp name IS shinigami357 [more on the number later], so I guess you can attribute the name to this. What I mean here is not writing about a character dying; characters die in a majority of fiction all the time, after all. Basically, its lurking somewhere there in the background in every story I write, and is sometimes [well... oftentimes] pointed out.

The main reason for this is because when you come down to it, the only eventual end is death. [Scientists are trying to deter or even stop this, but so far, they ain't got nothin' on that there reaper] I don't say that to be mean or in your face, but it's true; sadly enough, some people are dead before they're born, even. I mean, the only other thing inevitable in the world is love [to adhere to my, erm, grizly example above, even unborn people are loved... hopefully], and EVERYONE writes a little bit of that into their stories, even me [also, arguably, change]. You can't have yang without yin, and imho, there's way too much yang.

- The numbers

I have a ripe old time explaining my username, esp in KYTs. So far, my best excuse for 357 is along the lines of "it's 99.[something]% of 360, so let's pretend it's deep and all that". Basically, I like the numbers 3, 5, 7 and, uh 357. So, say, if my main character has a gun that isn't a BFG sniper rifle, expect it to be a colt python revolver loaded with - what else - 357 magnum ammo. If the main character is a genetic experiment, expect his specimen tag to contain 357 somewhere.

Also, of special note, 17 and 21. The product of these two is, obviously, 357. I've barely used these, but I have a liking to them, and so far, the only work [currently in developmental hell] they both appear in is as location designations where 2 of the 3 main characters come from. The third main character comes from 'state' 1, so the product is still 357, wahahaha.

- Weird/mundane references

Um, well, yeah. Self-explanatory.

- Any genre that isn't a straight-up romantic/drama story

Suffice to say, I'm more likely to write a 'slash short-story length erotica fanfic [complete with fluff and lemon, of course]' than write any of the two mentioned above. I usually stick to sci-fi [or spec fics], horror, or fantasy of some sort, though.

- Weird verbosity

Exactly what you'd think it means. However, being rather paranoid does mean I'm constantly referring to Merriam-Webster or some other resource to make sure I haven't confused a term with another.

- The devil is in the details

There was a point I was combing through a 12k length chapter [yes, it was hellishly long] changing 'forest' to 'woods'... or was it 'woods' to 'forest'? Well, anyway, that particular detail wasn't even central to the chapter [it was a slight house in the woods/haunted house/runaway children/Bathory reference, in case you were wondering].

Also, when I'm writing sci fi in particular, I try to get as much factual reference behind whatever happens/appears in the course of the story. Furthermore, I like to turn these things into Chekhov's guns [more on this]

- Somewhat controversial themes

Pops out once in a while, most obviously with the death thing. It isn't as much a dare for the reader to justify for or against the issue, but a form of introspection. When I write about something, it generally shows how my mind reacts to it better than if I were actively discussing it.

- Tropes

Well, most writers usually use these unconsciously, anyway, but I've been fascinated to see how they work. I'll usually allude to some [like the aforementioned Chekhov's gun, lampshading, etc etc et al] especially when discussing stuff.

- Animals

In particular, Ravens. There are a lot of animals I like [though admittedly, have never been in contact with] but haven't successfully integrated into stories, mostly for the lack of info that a wiki article just doesn't provide. The only reason I can integrate Ravens is because its such a fixture in myth, folklore and literature, already anyway. MY profile avatar is indicative of this, I think.

Also, being a fan of Jurassic Park [any kid back then prob liked it, because weirdly enough, dinos seem to be popular with younger audiences... prob why Barney works], I love dinosaurs; esp velociraptors [yeah, I know, sue me] and ankylosaurs. I'm mentally formulating a story where I can fit them in atm; we'll see if it ever sees the light of day [and then go straight to developmental hell, muhahahahahaha].

Of course, animal symbolism has been done to the point that most authors do it, anyway...

- Religion [or the lack of them]

Well, you wouldn't be able to spot this unless you're specifically looking for it, and is thus most mundane... To make this short, most of my main characters are atheistic or subscribe to a non-religious faith/belief system. Personally, I'm not baptized to any religion [kind of weird in hindsight, really], and I'm trying to look at the whole thing anyway, so I'd rather keep my characters ambiguous.

Also, um... yeah, updates on B,G,C... Well, I already touched on it earlier [waaaay earlier], but basically, I tried to take out any direct references to stuff that could get it blocked and whatnot. Basically, first shift of POV character, new magic, more antagonists, etc etc...

And... the hunt for 'character whose robe is made of shadows' gets an update.

So, um, it isn't quite Raven. She had an actual, uh, cloak [which is blue], though she does use her 'soul self' to sort of engulf herself in a robe/cloak-like manner, but it isn't the same thing... Which leads me back to square one... Urgh.

 

[Sterling]

Well, I'm not sure if anything I write follows a certain theme with any consistency. I guess I'll give it a go.

The main character always finds true love. I'm sure it's because I'm currently single and have always enjoyed the company of the opposite sex. More of me projecting my wants and needs upon the reader.

My main characters are usually based off of people I know in real life. Some people say this is a pretty dumb idea, however I seem to be able to pull it off well myself since I know my friends pretty well.

References to things frequently pop up in my writing. Sometimes they are so ridiculous that they take away from the story. I've recently quelled that though so they aren't glaringly obvious.

I subconsciously avoid tropes. Seriously, I've managed to avoid nearly every trope in my story so far. I find that fascinating since my friend can't even write a chapter without hitting one or more.

Food. I reference anything edible at least once in every chapter. I even make myself hungry.

 

[Shinigami357]

So, given that I promised an update of B, G, C Wednesday, and it's Saturday now [Philippine time, of course] and there's no sign of it anywhere... Guess it got writer's block'd... Half of it, more or less, is written, then my mental editors and fiction writers got into an impasse. [think of them as the same visual puns spongebob had when squidward had to pretend the krusty krab was a 5-star restaurant and spongebob had to become head waiter... and had to 'clear his mind of everything except fine dining and breathing']

↑ Obscure reference, FTW!!! ↑

Anyway, the basic reason this happened is coz my head is under protest. Said protest being: 'we're writing the sequel to ccorax, with or without you... punk." My mental editors, fiction writers, fact-checkers and grammar nazis all agree on it, so I decided, what the hell.

I know it's stupid, and I'll prob regret it by the time I have to do the numerous retcons and stuff for the rewrite of book one, but what the heck. Can't exactly argue when I'm being held hostage by my creative impulses. I might never get another chance to do it like this again, wahahahaha.

I'll prob still have time to update B, G, C once in a while, though...

PS

I did ask Merriam-Webster... The correct term is 'objective'.
Update: Book 2 started. Official title is 'Anomalies'. Doing well so far.

 

[astrangeone]

I've started writing again! I'm writing a few chapters for a hope to be published book - the different women I loved.

I really don't have patience for doing this as well as dealing with school.

 

[ShinyJellicent12]

Hello, people! I haven't been here in a LOOONG time (2 years I think lol). Just wanted to let everyone know that my works are now on figment.com:
Click here

 

[Blaze163]

Since they're nearing completion, why don't I start posting the chapters for my own writings? To start things off, here's the first chapter of my Final Fantasy VII alternate reality commission work, currently under the working title 'Sliding Doors'. I hope you enjoy it. If so, post your comments and I'll consider uploading more, maybe even from my other projects. I don't deal with just fanfics though, I do original works. Anyway, here's the prologue and the first short chapter.

Spoiler

Prologue.

His chest was pounding, his breathing erratic, muscles aching as he ran through the streets, leaping over burning debris from the crumbling houses in his frantic search for survivors. He had seen many things on his travels, but never such dark hearted butchery of innocent civilians. Dozens of good people lay dead in his path, cut down by either the inferno or the lethal blade of the madman that now stalked these streets. Many still burned in their doorways; the smell of scorched flesh filling his head, a smell he would never forget and hoped with every fibre of his being was never inflicted on anyone else. This was more than death. This was the stench of treachery.

Stumbling into the main square, he was filled with hope at the sight that awaited him. A small group of survivors had escaped the blaze, running for the safety of the outskirts, carrying the wounded with them. A young man knelt down beside a dying young woman, his fingertips aglow as his healing magic pulsed through her body, creating energy barriers to stop the internal bleeding threatening her life. Her breathing slowed and she smiled at her benefactor as he moved on to another, an old man with huge gashes across his chest, led in a pool of blood as he struggled to hang on to his life. The young man cursed as he found his spell to be too little too late, his strength waning leaving him unable to continue.

A scream pierced the nightmare and everyone whirled to face the source, instantly regretting it. The silver haired madman's impossibly long blade impaled another innocent man through the chest, dark crimson seeping along the viciously sharp edge as the victim choked and struggled in his last few moments, cast aside with a deft flick of the madman's wrist as his body became nought but an empty shell.

The silver haired murderer turned to face them, raising his arm to send out powerful magical orbs that sought out the terrified survivors as they ran for the town's exit. The glowing ice blue orbs thudded into the innocents as they dove for cover, vaporising flesh and bone as the few survivors fell to the floor, survivors no more. One last orb hurtled towards the kneeling healer as he screamed his rage into the sky, leaping to his feet and deflecting the deadly magic with his vast blade. The sword barely withstood the onslaught, the steel left scorched but its wielder unharmed, his breath ragged as his efforts to save the town began to take their toll, now found to be mostly in vain.

He turned to look upon them and his lips curled into a twisted smile. He knew he could finish them at any moment, but what would be the sport in that? Besides, he had more important matters to attend to. He turned into the flames and strode through with no fear, as if he knew the flames themselves feared him.

***

Chapter One - Reprisal

Deep within the twisted paths of Mount Nibel, a lone Shinra grunt charged recklessly along ancient paths he knew from painful experience to be dangerous. But only one danger was on his mind, the danger she must be in at that very moment. He clutched his standard issue assault rifle, now low on ammo thanks to the many monsters that pursued him, knowing that his chances of making a difference were slim at best given who his opponent would be, but he would face him nonetheless. He had promised, so long ago.

***

She had been foolish to challenge him. Brave beyond measure, but foolish. Only fortune had prevented her from meeting her doom, and had not been enough to save her from serious injury. His healing magic had been enough to keep her alive, for now at least. She still had the spirit to insult him. Whatever kept her in this world, it was stronger than the thoughtless rage of her attacker. Drawing his Buster Sword, the dark haired warrior stepped through the doors, preparing to face his old friend. One way or another, this would end here and now.

***

The core of the mako reactor shook with the sounds of the battle of champions blazing within. As he ran to the aid of his friend, the cacophony reached its climax and the dark haired warrior was sent flying through the steel doors leading to the core, his blade spinning into the room and burying itself in one of the thick cables stemming from the mako infusion chambers. Shielding himself from the blast, the guard ran to the side of his badly wounded friend, grabbing bandages from the pouch at his hip.

"Zack, are you alright? What can I do to help?" the young guard stuttered, his nerves close to breaking point. The young man brushed the dark hair from his friend's eyes, hair now matted with blood from multiple wounds. Zack nodded slowly, struggling to sit up as he took the bandages from his friend. He pointed towards his sword with a bloodied finger, knowing his friend would understand.

"What about Tifa? Is she alright?"

"I see there's no distracting you, Cloud. Maybe if we get out of this alive, you can tell me the whole story. She's wounded, but stable. Take care of Sephiroth for me. I'll keep her safe for you."

With that Cloud wrenched his friend's treasured Buster Sword from the power cables, struggling to carry the immensely heavy blade. With hatred and vengeance burning bright in his eyes, he stepped through the broken doors, most likely to his own death, staring up at the man who had been his hero.

***

With an almost deafening crash, the metallic statue was hurled to the floor, revealing the true purpose of the reactor's core. Encased in faintly glowing liquid, the creature contained within the tube was unlike anything that had ever been seen, a twisting, warped wall of exposed flesh and veins, cruel eyes completing a cold, emotionless face, wrapped in strangely delicate white hair. Hair just like that of his target.

Sephiroth. The legendary Soldier First Class said to be impossible to defeat. His long sword by his side, the means by which much of the town had been brutally murdered, the silver blade dripping with blood, probably that of Tifa and Zack. The blood of his closest friends, apparently so worthless to Sephiroth that it didn't even necessitate cleaning the blade. Much like the blood of his mother, who had been found among the dead back in Nibelhiem.

Sephiroth had not even noticed him, stood there talking to whatever the creature within the tank was. Perhaps the opportunity Cloud needed. He let his rage fill his every thought. He thought of Zack, brave defender of the innocent who lay dying in the next room. His mother, his only family, everyone he had ever known from childhood, torn apart before his very eyes. Tifa, the girl who never left his thoughts, gravely injured and in need of the heroic rescue he had promised her under the stars that night.

His anger overflowed and unlocked powers within him he never knew existed. Lifting the sword almost effortlessly, he thrust it deep into his enemy, piercing straight through Sephiroth's entire body and into the glass of the containment tank. He felt the blade tear through vital organs, blood gushing forth from both sides of the wound, trickling down the side of the glass. As Sephiroth gasped in shock, Cloud forced the blade even further into his back, twisting it to increase the pain.

"This is for my family. My friends. My town. I looked up to you. You were my hero as a child. Now you'll die as nothing more than a murderer."

As Cloud retracted the bloodied tip of the Buster Sword, his fallen hero turned to face him, reaching for his sword to strike back. Before he could enact his vengeance, Cloud swung his blade down from high in one final powerful strike, watching the shock spark in Sephiroth's eyes as the sharp edge of the sword dealt the finishing blow, slicing cleanly through flesh and bone from shoulder to hip. The glow in his enemy's eyes slowly dimmed as he grasped at the air, falling to his knees as his heartbeat began to fail, his last few moments spent staring into the face of his killer.

***

Sirens wailed through the highest levels of Shinra Tower as men in white coats scrambled to confirm what they prayed was just a rumour. Red alarm lights flashed through the entire medical facility, the tension so immense even the senior staff seemed moments away from screaming. Dozens of computer banks whirred and hummed as satellites were repositioned to survey the scene. As one lowly technician rerouted the images to the vast main display along the north wall, tension gave way to despair, the whole room suddenly silent.

The internal cameras mounted high on the walls of the mako reactor had recorded every moment. From the fight with Zack to his last agonising breaths, these were the final moments of the most powerful warrior to have ever lived. The composite of thousands of hours of research in biotechnology, Cetran history, martial arts, every aspect that had made him a legend. But now there was no doubt. Though his closest rival had failed, one lowly grunt had succeeded.

Sephiroth was dead.

What did you guys think? Not my best work but I don't think it's too bad.

 

[Shinigami357]

Eh... I didn't finish FF VII so I'm not familiar with the characters and all that. The game ends when Sephiroth's dead anyways, right[???] so I guess that's a moot point, since he's dead by the first chapter [or is he?]. I'm interested to see how it turns out.

---

Anyway...

My computer up and corrupted 'Anomalies'... There was less than 1000 words in it, but I've basically purged them from my head, so now I'm rewriting the whole thing clueless and pissed off. Damn it. I hate it when this happens.

[sulks in a corner, muttering darkly to himself]

 

[Shinigami357]

Hey guys.

First things first, uh, 'Anomalies' update. Chapter one is done and I think slightly better off than I would have thought possible after the first one got wiped. There's a slight in-depth of exactly how my main character teleports objects ['porting' people is more complicated], and he gets his SSP back. Also, I've backed it up this time, so hopefully no more wipes.

I'm on to chapter 2 [got interrupted earlier coz my body was going into hibernate mode], around 1800 words in total.

 

[Sterling]

Nice. I've moved onto chapter five or six on my re-write. So far I'm 5k words in.

 

[Shinigami357]

Hm, I noticed that my previous post goes 'first things first' and there's no 'second thing'. The list stopped at one. Guess the rest of the interwebs whisked my mind off to other distractions, but at least I remembered to hit 'post'. Come to think of it, I'm not sure there is a second item.

Anyway, to compensate for horribly broken post/update...

I think I'll start a 'continuity checklist' of sorts, since I'll be doing the rewrite of book one after I finish book 2, I thought I'd keep a handy checklist of small details that might get lost and fuck up the continuity. Also, it's a handy reference, though knowing how I make notes/lists, prob gonna be confusing as all hell.

And yes, making book two that is immediately after book one [and therefore relies heavily on the foundation book one built] when book one isn't finalized yet is really wayward. I don't really mind, though.

So, a 'short' excerpt from chapter one [prob the only thing I can post that doesn't require the reader to know much of the backstory]

Spoiler: excerpt

357 studied the figures and the machinery as they poked through the rubble. He knows they are hoping to find something. They’d be so sorely disappointed; he’d already cleared the body and the weapon. The blood won’t turn up anything useful; it was a security feature, since XY’s get wounded sometimes.
He extended a hand toward the sheet of glass, turning the transparent material reflective. His reflection was faint in the near-darkness. Slowly, his eyes shifted colors, the blue settling in with the grey.
“What do you want?” Raven asked.
“I want to talk.”
“Here? Like this? We look like a horror movie now,” Raven observed as he saw their reflection.
“This is the best way to talk if we’re conscious.”
“I see.” Raven looked at the reflection in the temporary mirror. “Where are we?”
“Empty office across the street,” 357 answered.
“Observing your handiwork?” Raven asked, teasing.
“Observing their reaction,” 357 corrected.
“Well, considering you almost brought down a building on top of our head, I guess they’re not too happy.”
357 ignored Raven’s take on the situation. “Are you ready to go back?”
“I don’t know. Are we done here?”
357 nodded. “Here, yes. I just have to retrieve something.”
Raven raised an eyebrow, curious, but he held his tongue. He felt 357 focus their mind and their considerable energy. All of a sudden, time stood still and space seemed to stretch out in every direction, unhindered by walls, ceilings or floors. There was no matter; everything was energy, waiting to be plucked, transported. He did not know what 357 was looking for, until he felt that familiar sensation of materialization.
“What is that?” Raven asked as he looked at the object in their left hand. It was wide, slightly curved, dull grey, and seemed to be made of some alloy.
“Watch,” 357 said. Their left hand pulled back the jacket’s sleeve and attached the object to their right forearm. Raven felt a slight tingle go up their right arm as the object made contact with the skin. As the thin layer molded itself on their right forearm, a small portion, shaped like a millimeter-thick half-moon, stayed in place. All in all, the object covered the outer part of their right forearm from the wrist to about two inches away from the elbow.
“Wow,” was all Raven could say. He recognized it, the way it felt on the forearm, how it seemed to connect to his nervous system, as though a sixth finger, and the energy source inside it, waiting to be harnessed. He’d seen it, wielded it, even, in both dream and memory. “This is our - your - weapon.”
“Go ahead, engage it.”
Raven did. The black SSP blade emerged from the flat, forward-facing part of the raised half-moon portion. There was no hum, thrum, vibration, tingling, or indeed any other occurrence other than the blade emerging from seemingly out of nowhere. It weighed nothing, and indeed the whole weapon felt as much an important part of his arm as his hand did.
He wasn’t sure if it was him, 357 or just a deeply-ingrained response from their body from all the training, but their right arm stretched, flexed, and did a few, almost experimental, swings and thrusts. The last two were very straightforward: a thrust straight forward, at chest level, designed to pierce through the heart, and a short, horizontal, backhand swing, used to cut the head off, and, Raven knew, 357’s preferred method of attack. After that, without further conscious thought, the weapon disengaged.
“I don’t think I can use this over a jacket,” Raven commented.
“Wear it over the sleeve, it makes no matter. I wore it over armor all the time.”
Raven nodded as 357 moved their left hand, touching the glass again; it turned transparent. Across the street, the area has been surrounded by a throng of curious people barely held back by police lines. The excavation teams - and there were several - were coordinating to move a particularly tricky piece of rubble that seemed to be part of the foundation; if they took it our wrong, it could make everything collapse even further.
“Are you heading home yet?” 357 asked. Raven heard a certain change in his voice; 357 was either getting bored, impatient… or perhaps both.
He watched the sky towards the east start to lighten up and nodded. His irises started to lighten, and then deepen as the color shifted fully to blue.

Basically, all you need to know here is that 357 made an abandoned building crumble to kill off an enemy, causing Raven no end of trouble at home. Also, SSP is solid-state plasma, and there's a long hard explanation somewhere, but it's basically 'glowing sci-fi stuff used to make weapons [and other things]'.

Eh, I really can't get the indents to show up. I should prob just follow Sterling's example and use pastebin or something.

Guess that's all. Cheers, fellas!

---

@[user]Sterling[/user] You're rewriting Terrestria? Or is it another WIP?

 

[KingdomBlade]

I was bored in the car, and listening to some music (Radiohead), then I thought of a very rough plot in my head.

The plot is about this guy, who has a power. Not a superpower, more like an ability. He can destroy things, make them fall apart, instantly. However, in order to use his ability, his mind needs to be angry. He needs to feel a state of perpetual rage to make it stronger. His rage amplifies it more and more. This is the point where I utilize it as a metaphor for transmitting negative emotion into what you do.

The story takes place across six points in his life: childhood, adolescence, college, work-life, marital-life, and the part where everything fucking falls apart. Literally, and symbolically. His anger becomes a defense mechanism, and throughout the course of his life, he begins to like the feeling. At certain points where he is forced to hinder it more and more, and fucking explodes completely. It's a recurring theme.

Each portion explored a given social issue. Childhood becomes associated with child abuse, adolescence with bullying, college with mass violence, work-life with drug abuse, marital-life with domestic abuse, and finally, falling-apart with war.

That's about it, I think.

EDIT: Oh, and here's a new short story. Kinda. It's kind of free-verse poetry too. Romantic-drama kinda thing. Um, I dunno. I realize that my stuff's quite a bit different from the stuff from the last few pages. XD It's probably cause I generally dislike writing anything that sounds too game-y or adventurous.

cheat. don't cheat. go away. stay.

Spoiler

You are not the one, she is. Why is that?

You are the one, she is not. Why is that?

I look up into her loving eyes.

I look up into her cold, dark, twisted eyes.

I look down on her shined shoes.

I look down on her disgusting bare feet.

I see the sun and the moon and the stars.

I see the the darkness and emptiness.

I love her, but I should not.

I hate her, but I should not.

Hopeful.

Hopeless.

Order.

Fate.

I hate you.

I love you.

Hands that are bare.

Hands that are warm.

Eyes that speak lies.

Eyes that say the truth.

A body that wills itself to the first bidder.

A body that wills itself to none.

Life in a box.

Life in the sky.

Safe.

Exciting.

Pleasant.

Incredible.

Appeased.

Frustrated.

When you are gone.

When you stay.

Leave me be.

Stay with me.

I die.

I live.

You.

Us.

Yours.

Ours.

Nobody's.

Mine.

Hate me.

Love me.

Kill me.

Save me.

Drown me.

Rescue me.

My eyes are fixated on all else.

My eyes are on you.

This is it.

This is the beginning.

Goodbye.

Hello.

Cheat.

Feel.

 

[Sterling]

Hmm, I don't see many problems with your plot. Write it, I don't know if it sounds like something I'd enjoy. Will there be an explanation on how he got his ability?

@Shinigami357: Yeah, it's a re-write of Terrestria. I learned a lot since I started writing it, so I decided to put the knowledge to good use.

 

[KingdomBlade]

Hmm, I don't see many problems with your plot. Write it, I don't know if it sounds like something I'd enjoy. Will there be an explanation on how he got his ability?.

No. I dislike explicit explanations and going detailed about explaining elements that aren't meant to be explained. Or else this might drive the plot in a more soft sci-fi, adventure light. It's meant to be much more about the implications of the ability, and what it means. The plot's vaguely influenced by Lionel Shriver's novel We Need to Talk About Kevin, about a guy who commits a high school massacre, though spans much farther in his life, and is much more driven by anger than a natural desire to kill or destroy.

 

[Shinigami357]

Hm, me likey. You're writing it in a more psychological kind of way, I assume [though with a broader scope]? Seems like my kind of story [elements-wise]. Best of luck.

Also, don't let it bother you if your stuff is different from some of the other stuff here [ours included]. It's the reason Sterling started the guild to begin with.

---

Usually I'd be writing right now [2am is my prime writing time], but the Philippines seems to have caught a chill, literally. We're getting temperatures below 20 now [Centigrade] especially deep into the night. Even though writing is conscious while shivering is supposed to be unconscious, it kind of gets in the way, since I'm not used to being this cold [seriously, it feels colder than if I were in a mall].

 

[Wolvenreign]

I suppose I will apply.


1) Wolvenreign is my current name, and my most frequent. Others include Wolvenreign_Lyghtovoid, Bob Palindrome (Full name : Robert Racecar Palindrome) and A Smooth Criminal (for TF2 and Steam, though if you search for Wolvenreign on Steam you’ll find me more easily).

2) I would say my area of expertise is twofold; narratives and poetry. In general, I reach as high and far as I can imagine when I write fiction, not basing things on any particular event. When I write poetry, no matter the alliteration scheme, I try to write it about a place, painting pictures with words as though I’m painting scenery.

3) English is number 1 on both counts. It was my first and only, and I would say I’m quite proficient with it.

4) I have had a 3 year hiatus as of late, but then I really got back into posting again. Part of that may be that I have few choices left when it comes to entertainment anymore, but on the other hand, GBATemp is just such an amazing resource. I should have remembered that sooner, honestly.

5) I write all the time, whenever I get a chance. I have been inspired to be the person I am by the awe of the blank page; the wellspring of possibility.

6a) http://gbatemp.net/threads/anticipation.341571/
6b) http://gbatemp.net/threads/lunar-light-wip.341394/
6c) http://gbatemp.net/threads/the-bound-and-the-broken-chapter-1.341551/
6d) http://gbatemp.net/threads/the-bound-and-the-broken-chapter-2.341553/
6e) http://gbatemp.net/threads/the-worldburners-epic-poem.341496/

 

[Wolvenreign]

Oh, and I'm thinking about another plot, but it's not terribly character-driven. It's about a componium that weaves universes. I want to call the story Cleft, after that symbol that begins some musical scores.