Video Game Logic

[Taleweaver]

And people can carry swords twice their height and weight with ease

Erm...this guy begs to differ:


I know you're referring to games like Final Fantasy, but still...it was worth mentioning.

 

[the_randomizer]

Erm...this guy begs to differ:


I know you're referring to games like Final Fantasy, but still...it was worth mentioning.

I was talking about Cloud's buster sword, yes. Oh well.

 

[nukeboy95]

 

[Pedeadstrian]

Final boss, in final form, can be killed with one attack. i am looking at you Sephiroth

I'd call Omnislash multiple attacks, since it's not one fluid motion... but yeah.

I'm pretty sure that's what all "poorly-endowed" guys say to their girlfriends/potential mates.

• A man controlling a cat in a... something... suit can somehow protect Black Materia (which is a giant temple) from itself.
• Don't have Underwater materia? Sorry, you now only have 20 minutes of breathing underwater before you die.
• Scratch behind a white chocobo's ear, or speak Chocobese to dancing chocobo, and you'll get materia that it hid... somewhere you don't wanna think about.

• Touch a boss when it's dead, and gain its power. Touch any enemy when it's alive, and lose health.
• Giant dragon? Takes only a few hits to kill. Tiny Mettaur? Invincible when ducking.
• Got an amazing robot dog that can change shapes? Have him turn into a rocket that can't go straight up or down.

• Got a random belt? Use an identify scroll! Got a trinket of potentially unlimited power? Find out only after it's too late.
• Feel like having some hamburgers or steak? Put a peg leg and a book into this box, then step into this red vortex!
• You need a temporary respite from the demonic embodiment of Anguish, Pain, Hatred, Terror, or Destruction? Put up a portal right next to them that takes you to your only sanctuary for miles.

 

[JulietStMoon]

If you're getting your ass kicked in a boss fight (particularly in more recent games), just go ahead and throw the fight. After all, you'll just be sent back to the cut scene at the beginning of the fight.

 

[nryn99]

Spoiler: In dota 2 you make a crossbow with 2 swords and a claw like weapon. that's not the only one.

http://www.dota2wiki.com/wiki/Daedalus

 

[Maxternal]

When the guy dies who had requested you not to use all your arsenal of weapons (who has no authority over you but just kinda decided to go along with) ... you don't immediately turn on every single gadget in your armament.

- Metroid Other M

 

[Maxternal]

* Huge spacecraft set to self-destruct in 5 minutes. The loudspeakers broadcast a voice urging everyone to evacuate immediately BUT fences that have never appeared or had any other use in all the rest of the game automatically drop down in escape routes, PREVENTING such an evacuation from happening.
* 5 minutes is plenty of time to evacuate such a spacecraft.
* If you're wearing a suit that has the ability to greatly increase you're running speed, you DON'T activate it to help you get out of the self-destructing spaceship. Looking sexy is FAR more important.
* The ability to psychically control hoards of alien life forms and in turn be influenced by their emotions does NOT also allow you to realize good or bad intentions that certain humans might have toward you or realize if they're
coming up behind you to try reprogram your brain.
* A creature that's probably larger than a horse can hatch out of the body of an animal the size of a chicken. (Ridley)

- Metroid : Other M

 

[anhminh]

• Sword deal more damage than piston.
• Fabric cloth can boost your defend, heck even bikini can boost your defend higher than armor.
• Foe never counter when you beating them, they only fight back when you stop.
• Use meteorite to attack, only opponent take damage, and your attack never hit you no matter how far your stand from your opponent.
• Your cloth is indestructible but your aren't, some how all attack go through it and go straight to your body. You defend still get boosted though.

 

[Taleweaver]

* narrators can give the most useless advice ("pull this lever to pull the lever") and despite them claiming they support you, the sometimes get downright sarcastic or cynical about it (Glados, anyone?).
* it's not just in spaceships that women tend to choose sexyness over functionality. In medieval games, having major cleavage is also more important than...y'know...protecting against arrows to the knee chest.
* airplanes can have a gazillion firepower that can take out other ships in a single blast and can even pick up their weapons mid-flight after shooting them...but they can't change their altitude to avoid incoming fire
* if you crash during a race or simply stop the car, the other cars suddenly drive a lot slower (rubberbanding AI...it happens in quite some games)
* water may look beautiful now...but it doesn't make you wet. At all.


Maxternal: in starcraft, Ultralisks also hatch from eggs that are easily ten times smaller than they are at 'birth'.

 

[Maxternal]

http://www.dorkly.com/comic/41403/videogames-vs-real-life

Spoiler: part1

http://www.dorkly.com/comic/53249/videogames-vs-real-life-part-2

Spoiler: part2

 

[Veho]

 

[ComeTurismO]

Bump.
More new members = more things to share.
If you stand next to a girl in GTA V, apparently you're wanted for attempted rape.

 

[Taleweaver]

-nearly literally drowning your plants in water is okay...they can take it. In fact, they give you money for it (I've been playing too much plants vs zombies)
-"I know you're still a child and all, but where others believe you can't even take care of a rat problem, I believe you will save this universe someday"
-it's pretty normal to refer to the workings of physics and reality in a smudge and winky way (at this point, it's almost a requirement for 16-bit games)
-life is a lot like groundhog day. Dying or doing something wrong just means you have to start a small part of what you were doing again.
-hacking is easy. All it takes is getting within bluetooth range of a computer and pressing a button. Or play a minigame at best.

 

[Veho]

If you stand next to a girl [...], apparently you're wanted for attempted rape.

That's closer to Tumblr logic than video game logic

 

[DinohScene]

All you have to do, is follow the damn train!

 

[megaexplosion]

If there's gonna be a hurricane or earthquake the next day just keep watching the weather channel until the natural disaster feels like not happening anymore.
Harvest Moon...

 

[Social_Outlaw]

1. Cars that are not enemies always want to ram into you when you chase an enemy - GTA SA

2. Your a smart alien, but you can only take over a human body for a short period of time? - Destroy All Humans

3. You can smoke a cigar to fast forward time - MGS5 Phantom Pain

4. You can fake your own death by using a Fake Death Pill, but if you don't take your Revival Pill in a certain time to counter it you will die? ITS FAKE!!! - MGS3

5. If I beat one of my teammates ass inside our hideout, my whole crew would kill me, but if I do it again, and immediately run out our hideout, and come back in they would act like nothing never happen - The Warriors

 

[migles]

2. You throw a knife in someone head and they're still alive - COD

i don't see a problem....
but anyway, if you go back it was already said a better one "get shot multiple times still alive, knife on the feet instant death"

 

[Social_Outlaw]

i don't see a problem....
but anyway, if you go back it was already said a better one "get shot multiple times still alive, knife on the feet instant death"

K I'll switch