Video Game Logic

[Pleng]

Once you've finished your opponent off, you're more likely to get a cheer from any onlookers if you turn them into a baby,or offer them a gift, than you are if you kill them

 

[JulietStMoon]

Swords, bombs, and arrows are ok in Zelda, but old-fashioned guns would be "too violent" (Zelda fanboy logic)

 

[Mr. Prince]

-Rings can give you special powers, like increased crittical damage, being partly invisible, changes your roll animation to a ninja flip, raise your HP and/or stamina...etc
-Backstabs do more damage then being cut/slashed.
-Bonfires mysteriously re-spawn all enemies and restore your HP and magic uses.
-You don't become weaker if you have a small amount of HP.
-You defeat the champion of your region but don't take his place as champion so you can roam the world.

 

[Guild McCommunist]

Swords, bombs, and arrows are ok in Zelda, but old-fashioned guns would be "too violent" (Zelda fanboy logic)

They have guns in Zelda, it's called "Fable".

 

[JulietStMoon]

They have guns in Zelda, it's called "Fable".

I've never played Fable, so I wouldn't know.

 

[4-leaf-clover]

Every piece of clothing or armor that you find fits you perfectly.

 

[Taleweaver]

-It's perfectly normal for a woman to sing songs with a male voice and vice versa. (seriously...You'd think they would notice and fix that after one guitar hero/rock band game?)
-you cannot hit people to the left and to the right of you, and neither can they (2D beat 'em ups)
-princesses do nothing but get kidnapped
-grass and shrubberies instantly regrow when you're not looking
-dying often means you explode or fall through the floor (platformers).

 

[Maxternal]

Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.

Bowser has a magic trap he sets for Mario but just in some places. It makes it IMPOSSIBLE for you to move along faster than a set rate. If the back of the screen catches up to you, it will push you. If the platform you're standing on goes below the bottom of the screen, you will die. You're enemies are all somehow immune to this, however. They enter and exit the screen at will.

 

[JulietStMoon]

Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.

In their defense, the enemies you continue fighting in front of you MAY be ones that survived and circled around again

 

[Maxternal]

Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.

In their defense, the enemies you continue fighting in front of you MAY be ones that survived and circled around again

But they even come back if you kill them all
They're ZOMBIE PLANES !

 

[JulietStMoon]

But they even come back if you kill them all
They're ZOMBIE PLANES !

Well in that case, they could be genuinely new fighters being called in #DualLogic

 

[chavosaur]

Every thing in the world is in a perfectly cubed shape.
You can break rocks with your fist
Your entire home can be destroyed by this

 

[ThatDudeWithTheFood]

YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
Oh my god that's pissed me off for the longest.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Your parents will name you the strangest names and not a single person would comment upon it. For example, "This is my grandson! Blah blah rival blah blah! Err...what was his name again? AH YES! NOW I REMEMBER! HIS NAME IS PENIS!"

 

[JulietStMoon]

YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
Oh my god that's pissed me off for the longest.

Spoiler

 

[Deleted-236924]

YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
Oh my god that's pissed me off for the longest.

Spoiler

- Sup, Bald guy?
- I want an afro
- Sure, here you go
- *Distinct clipper buzzing sound*
- There you go, hair extensions, you now have an afro.

 

[Taleweaver]

I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?

Hair doesn't grow, nobody ever needs a shaving, your hair remains exactly the same style when skydiving, swimming through the sewers, getting nearly blown up five times and after going to a fire. Heck...even after spending a night with a hot babe* your hair is still in perfect shape.


Sure...it would explain why there is never a line (that, and the fact that it only takes seconds to finish), but still...such a for-all-eternity-haircut costs less than the price of a hamburger. Yes, even überfancy off-the-wall wacky cuts with all sorts of coloring.



Come to think of it: if a real barber could pull all that shit off, I think you'd see people go for the wackiest haircuts instead of the sober "NPC-look" they usually have.




*aka: practically any woman who isn't the "sweet old granny" type.

 

[Maxternal]

I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?

When you don't have to eat to stay alive and you don't have to sleep (don't need a house) the cost of day to day life isn't that bad.

 

[Taleweaver]

I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?

When you don't have to eat to stay alive and you don't have to sleep (don't need a house) the cost of day to day life isn't that bad.

Hmm...I can't beat THAT kind of gamer logic.


(in fact, I could add that they probably wouldn't need much energy if all they do is stand in the same spot all day and all night long).

 

[Maxternal]

This is the part where the thread takes a change in tone and starts putting all the previous posts together to explain "why video game logic really DOES make sense"