Video Game Logic

[weavile001]

the laws of gravity only applies to mario galaxy

 

[Black-Ice]

Walking diagonal?
For noobs.
Left, Right, up, down ftw

 

[JulietStMoon]

Even an environment supposedly designed to be navigated by ordinary humans without special tools and weapons (such as a research station) will require missiles, bombs, rolling up into a tiny ball, grappling beams, heat-resistant suits, water mobile-suits, eternal jump tools, and spinning attack weapons just to get from one room to the next (Metroid Fusion).

It's perfectly normal for modern human cities to have loop-de-loops on highways, and for gold rings to be scattered everywhere that nobody bothers stealing before you get to them (Sonic games)

 

[Taleweaver]

-spaceships tend to carry an unlimited amount of lasers...but only a handful of bombs.
-it's perfectly normal that some doors only open after you kill a certain badass enemy
-more often than not, your main means of transportation is in a vehicle where the cockpit is smaller than you are
-real men hide in cover until the red clears out of their eyes!
-if you go around not carefully aiming each shot, you're blamed for "spamming". On the other hand, it's perfectly normal for a boss to blindly destroy his entire bureau, throne room or wherever it is you're fighting him.

 

[shadow theory]

(I have to admit I haven't read every single one, so sorry for any reposts)

• It is perfectly okay to enter people's house and rifle through their things. Hey, there may be treasure in there!
• Fireballs hurt, but don't burn through clothes.
• All inns cost progressively more the farther you get from home.
• Some maps draw themselves when you find things! (Complete with artistic renderings of mountain ranges and lakes!)
• In most games even a novice can reload a gun in seconds.
• Knuckles can glide! Because well....because!
• Enemies when killed will drop awesome new weapons! I don't know why this bat has a glowing sword, but I'll take it!

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

(I have to admit I haven't read every single one, so sorry for any reposts)

• Some maps draw themselves when you find things! (Complete with artistic renderings of mountain ranges and lakes!)

Arguably you could say the maps are drawn by the character in the game.

 

[weavile001]

you can destroy a car just with your own fist ( not street fighter ) in 1 minute

 

[shadow theory]

Arguably you could say the maps are drawn by the character in the game.

Yeah, but some games include maps that come together as if drawn by a professional cartographer. If it was just lines with estimates, that'd be one thing, but some games definitely do have maps that make sense in that way you say (Silent Hill comes to mind since he scrawls on maps that he finds already completed).

Perhaps "Some characters are secretly professional cartographers! They can map anything no matter the complexity as soon as they come across it!" would be more accurate.

 

[JulietStMoon]

Floor ice cream (and hamburgers, and fruit, and turkey legs) gives you health (as opposed to eventually making you sick with whatever diseases have collected on said floor).

 

[Veho]

FPS logic:

 

[GameSoul]

Able to spend millions of dollars in equipment to kill one person (Any Call of Duty game)

 

[weavile001]

able to drive a car , handle a gun or any other thing with a brick hand

 

[snakepliskin2334]

hum... soldiers have encahnced dna and when you make a sound or get spoted by one guard dozens suddenly appear out of thin air with full body armor and riot shields (metal gear solid 1-2) ! (:

 

[Tsuteto]

Some I just thought of:

*Rocket Launcher? Zombie three feet away? No problem! Fire away and turn your head, you'll be just fine! (Resident Evil 4)
*Punch anything you want. Your first will never bleed, nor will you lose health! You might get a little hungry though... (Minecraft)
*Dance your heart out! By making sure your foot is on the ground every 16th note at 180 BPM (Dance Dance Revolution/In The Groove)
*"Hey buddy, wait up for me as you're climbing this cliff, oka-AUUUUGGGHHHH!" (Contra)

 

[4-leaf-clover]

When you crippled your enemy's arms he can still shoot/swing his Fire Arm/Melee weapon (Fallout)
Riot Shields are made out of the same material of Captain america's Shield (Call of duty)
Defibrillators can bring you back to life after getting shot in the head, Fell off a cliff, A jet crash ETC. (Battlefield)
Kids are invinicible/god (Fallout & Skyrim)

 

[reshx]

all jet skis have a radio
an nut costs the same as a hot dog.
you can ride across a continent with a bird and cant mantle over a little tree

 

[Pleng]

When you crippled your enemy's arms he can still shoot/swing his Fire Arm/Melee weapon (Fallout)
Riot Shields are made out of the same material of Captain america's Shield (Call of duty)
Defibrillators can bring you back to life after getting shot in the head, Fell off a cliff, A jet crash ETC. (Battlefield)
Kids are invinicible/god (Fallout & Skyrim)

Some I just thought of:

*Rocket Launcher? Zombie three feet away? No problem! Fire away and turn your head, you'll be just fine! (Resident Evil 4)
*Punch anything you want. Your first will never bleed, nor will you lose health! You might get a little hungry though... (Minecraft)
*Dance your heart out! By making sure your foot is on the ground every 16th note at 180 BPM (Dance Dance Revolution/In The Groove)
*"Hey buddy, wait up for me as you're climbing this cliff, oka-AUUUUGGGHHHH!" (Contra)

hum... soldiers have encahnced dna and when you make a sound or get spoted by one guard dozens suddenly appear out of thin air with full body armor and riot shields (metal gear solid 1-2) ! (:

Why have we started quoting the games in question? Surely the little fun that this thread provides is trying to work out what games people might be referring to?

 

[Joe88]

when ever you mount a stationary machine gun, a large group of enemies just happens to show up

 

[reshx]

when ever you mount a stationary machine gun, a large group of enemies just happens to show up

when you reach a certain point , even with no one knowing where you are , enemies show up.

 

[Taleweaver]

-even dressed, armed and looking like the enemy, they will always recognize you as the enemy the moment they see you (even though their base or field camp usually contains a few hundred soldiers)
-fire from a hidden location in the night with a soundproofed sniper rifle...if you miss, one single shout or grunt of the nearby guard is enough to alert everyone in the base about your exact location
-nobody ever tries to capture you alive
-enemies may drop weapons that help you against them, but after beating a few of them or being hit so you'll drop it, it vanishes (2D beat 'em ups)
-you always know EXACTLY how much bullets you have