I'm sure I'm missing dozens of gems, but here's an anekdote of my previous job. My colleague and me were both ICT tech desk, but I had long learned to be more evasive towards the...questions that weren't work related. My colleague, however, had problems fending this guy of who wanted to buy a new computer but had no idea about...anything.
Him: so I have to buy this HP desktop, right?
Colleague: well...yeah. If it's not a laptop. And other equipment, if you don't have it...?
Him: <blank stare>
Colleague: a keyboard? A mouse? Monitor?
Him: okay...so I can get these from HP too?
Colleague: erm...you can, yes.
Him: it's important that it's all from HP.
Colleague: <puzzled> but...why?
Him: because I have a printer from HP. It won't work if I buy a computer from another brand!
The guy was dead completely serious. If I hadn't burst out into laughter at that point, he probably would've attempted to prove my colleague wrong.
I once found a person saying "so look, stupid atheists, if the bing bang really existed, how did we survived the explosion and we do not die then?"

Oh, man...it's been long since I really couldn't contain laughter when reading the internet.
"just be yourself" literally shittiest advice you can give
Yup...
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"you must turn off your antivirus software"
"ok sir"
Okay, I admit it: this is the kind of advice I would dare to give. There ARE stupid questions, and the answer should be likewise. Or do you think that guy would somehow learn to think for himself if everyone just held his hand on even the most retarded questions.