SMEGGERMEGGIN' SMEG!

` regret .

Well-Known Member
OP
Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
147
Trophies
0
Age
31
Website
Visit site
XP
103
Country
Canada
MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON -------. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN ASSHOLE UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY FORESKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG.

THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT MAY SEEM BAD BUT IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. THIS MAY SEEM EMBARRASSING BUT MY DAD IS A SERIOUSLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN. THIS HAPPENED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO AND HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME YET. I'M STILL IN MY ROOM TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING OLD SPICE OUT OF MY COCK. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
 

Westside

Sogdiana
Member
Joined
Dec 18, 2004
Messages
2,904
Trophies
0
Age
33
Location
Guantanamo bay
Website
Visit site
XP
945
Country
Uzbekistan
I hope you are joking, as this is EOF. If not, well... my friend had it worse, but he was a shameless motherfucker. He had conservative muslim parents. His mother would often cry and say "you're gonna get your right hand pregnant." He would never listen.
 

Paarish

Connor's Nublet
Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
1,718
Trophies
0
Age
30
Location
Married to DinohScene
XP
569
Country
rofl.gif
 

monkat

I'd like to see you TRY to ban me. (Should I try?.
Banned
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
2,242
Trophies
0
Age
31
Location
Virginia
Website
www.monkat.net
XP
95
Country
United States
If you're serious, take a shower. It'll wash the chunks out. It'll probably sting for a bit until the non-ionized bits get flushed out physically.
 

You may also like...

General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • cearp @ cearp:
    I'm colored too
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    I'm always coloured.
  • Veho @ Veho:
    Turquoise is not a creative color.
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    @DinohScene, That's true.
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    @Veho, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B03jxGzEaEg -- you're also not a creative colour.
  • DinohScene @ DinohScene:
    do not listen to Veho, this man is clearly on drugs and wants you to eat pixels
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    @DinohScene, Judging by the looks of things, yes.
  • Veho @ Veho:
    I don't deny that I'm on drugs.
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    You honest about that? :creep:
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    Someone on drugs would be holding a knife.
  • DinohScene @ DinohScene:
    no, I'm just holding a lighter
    +1
  • DinohScene @ DinohScene:
    trust me, I'm green
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    I can see that you are.
  • Veho @ Veho:
    It's not easy being green.
    +1
  • Veho @ Veho:
    I came across yet another one of those "gaming on a $2 laptop" videos and I'm irked, again.
    +1
  • Veho @ Veho:
    This time it's a "budget phone" that costs $99... on a Cyber Monday sale... if you sign a two year contract with the provider... only in America. It's $600 everywhere else.
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    Well, can't you just select 'Don't recommend channel' so that YT wouldn't keep recommending them?
  • Veho @ Veho:
    Because it's not just one channel doing it.
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    It could be just YT in general.
  • Veho @ Veho:
    It's like wack-a-mole, you ignore
    one video and two more pop up.
    +1
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    That happens to me A LOT
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    Don't know why that is, but it's really annoying
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    Had to unsubscribe to some channels, but they keep coming back
  • M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ:
    So I do feel your pain :(
    M4x1mumReZ @ M4x1mumReZ: So I do feel your pain :(