Ehh, hunds, this is the old Xbox section ;p
No you can't.
USB is locked at 1.1 and is just not doable unless you want slow read/write and can be up to the task of soldering a USB port to the controller port.
SD loading simply cannot be achieved since it lacks a SD port/pinouts for an SD port.
Just upgrade the internal HDD drive or burn stuff to a DVD (or upgrade the internal HDD after you dumped your HDD key)
Edit, The emulators are pretty good, don't expect every game to work tho.
Movies can also be played with XBMC 4 Xbox.