For alucardevl I would say for your use i would recommend the Acekard 2 or EZ flash 5, or Supercard DS
All of those are under $40, Supercard being $35, EZ Flash 5 Plus being $25-$30, Acekard being $15-$20
All of those have auto DLDI, have homebrew support, music/video, and 100% compatibility.
I would use expandable memory because it is so much easier, and better to use because you can have multiple cards if you want or if it does get up you can get a bigger size or new card. Also they all have SDHC
Now here is where it gets interesting.
Supercard has RTS in there and it works pretty well and fast, but it can be hard to set up because it is complicated
EZ Flash 5 Plus : the team for this cart is amazing with support they have added in so many features that EZ flash 5 is starting to become a really high end card with great support. Just recently it added Real time save but this is just a beta but it has great potential, so in a bit the bugs should be fixed, but everything else works perfectly
Acekard 2 : The cheapest does not have RTS but is a simple card to set up and use and has every basic feature you stated and is a great choice for a beginner along with the EZ flash 5
For GBA support along with Ram expansion (internet), and rumble go for the EZ flash 3 in 1. It is a slot 2 card which is about 20$ but it is very well worth it if you want gba and all that stuff.
Lastly for a list of all trusted retailers go here
http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=33039
good luck and post if you need any help