Post your jokes thread

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My boyfriend was moaning at me earlier today and he said I had achieved nothing in life so I told him, 'Well I won the Jenny McMillan award at school.'

'What's that?', he said.

I replied

'It's a big building with kids in it.' :rofl:
 
I didn't get the point of that joke.
Need a sharpener??

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Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are in the middle of a robbing a Liquor store​


Bugs Bunny grabs a random bottle of booze and asks Daffy,

"Is this whiskey?"

Daffy thinks for a second then answers,

"Of course it's whiskey, but it's safer than wobbing a bank" :D
 
A have several new cartoon ideas:

1 - A bunch of cockroaches trying to defend against people they call "giants": Attack on Chitin.

2 - A man defeats many mma and grappling fighters using striking: Jiu Jitsu Tries-and-Fails.

3 - A man searches for great wealth; his one and only niece knows the location: One Niece.

4 - A clown's crazy adventures: Bozo's Bizzare Adventure.

5 - Two people try to be the best baseball players, but cannot win except by bunting: Bunter Bunter.

6 - Energy beam attacks by flying dudes out in the west: Wagon Fall Z.

7 - Corporate manufacturing takeover by someone who used to play baseball by means of mechanical force: Stair Wares - The Umpire Strikes Back.

8 - A guy who likes to eat but has to box to be super thin and enjoy so many lunches at the same time: Tyke Mison's Lunch Out.

9 - someone called olga goes outside and plugs in a wifi device: The Story of Olga, Wifi of the Wild.

10 - Two plumbers fix a website after unexpected access: Browser's Inside Story.
 
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I was told I would be a professional at standup comedy, but I'd rather sit down to crack jokes.

It's not raining now; how am I supposed to use dry humor?

someone once called a co-student stupid; I told him to never call his classmate "Microsoft" ever again.

Then someone asked what I would do if they dressed as a clown on October 31st; I asked him why he would _ever_ dress up like Bill Gates.

Then someone brought up Elon Musk; I reminded him that discussions on monkeys are best held at the zoo.

Then I told them about how Boxing is better than MMA, and they began discussing martial arts for some weird reason. Dudes, we were only talking about boxing packages being more practical for a career than math models association.

So as a result, I told them they could try to drink some kara-tea, and also get some jeet kune dough if they knead it, or perhaps eat some kung food. And if they get very hungry, they could go get a lot of Thai, as in Muy (Spanish for very/a lot of) Thai. However, someone could beet them to the punch.

Besides, I left Dakar back in Senegal next to some Chad by the Sudan; I was feeling a bit Hungary so I got some Turkey with Greece instead while on the Rome. If you wish for me to be more Pacific, I did settle for Meditteranean.

Then band came by; I don't know who is pulling their strings, but I did not tell them a bass-line music joke because it could stir up some Treble. Then someone would have to face the music and perhaps sing a different tune.

As for Chess, I have no need for pawns that would blunder and give me frustration on that knight. Too many things to determine rook-ie of the year.

I could talk about physics; it does matter, and it has potential.

Many said they wanted to beat me up; I could use a free pair of beats, those electronic headphones cost plenty of money. Just sine or cosine a document as I compliment you the right way, and then you supplement mine to tell it to me straight on if you thought it was an ugly triangle or acute one. Just be wary of a number outside of a cube; it came straight out of prism.

If I had an older sister who saw me cover Biology, I might shout "mitosis!" if I stubbed my toe, and no one wants to see a carbonyl in pain, do they? I could use H2O when dehydrated, and H2O2 for wounds.

As for coding; no python at all, especially in Florida. I put a rubber band in an empty nest and that is the nested loop I can use. No need for sonic the hedgehog comics with their mobius strip. Besides, Heisenberg is uncertain about that, right?

I lifted a robot made of steel; now _that_ is heavy metal, and it's pretty metal to see. Strikes a cord too. But not Discord.
 
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