Post your jokes thread

[AmandaRose]

An Irish hitman confessed today that he was once hired to kill a cow in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures.

Police said it is the first recorded case of a Knick Knack Paddy Wack.

 

[Maximumbeans]

I'm going to set up a dating service in Prague.

It's gonna be called Czech Mate.

 

[Lostbhoy]

I love escaping a good Panic Room... Or as the Police like to call them... "cells"...

 

[AncientBoi]

A good joke

I'm straight

Spoiler

 

[AmandaRose]

I just had a conversation with a dolphin.

It felt like we really clicked

 

[Lostbhoy]

A good joke

I'm straight

Spoiler

You couldn't keep a straight face Boi

 

[AmandaRose]

Question:

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

Answer:

It’s not hard.

 

[Flame]

Scottish league football.

The best joke.

 

[SylverReZ]

My doctor informed me that "Time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him, and then I waited and waited.

 

[BakerMan]

A rabbi, a priest, and a vampire walk into a bar, ouch.

 

[Lostbhoy]

Scottish league football.

The best joke.

HEY!!!


OK maybe.

 

[BakerMan]

The homies: Arguing over whose mom's the hottest.
This MF

:


(the joke is that some of sigmund freud's studies include that dudes might wanna bang they own moms, and that girls are jealous of men's dicks, but that last one's neither here nor there)

 

[hippy dave]

"I hate being half bicycle, half motorcycle", he moped.

 

[AmandaRose]

Got into a huge fight with my boyfriend because of his obsession with Bob Marley. He got me so mad I dumped him and then on the way out of his house I stole his satellite tv box.

Hope his love for Bob Marley was worth it as he now has

No woman no Sky

 

[Xdqwerty]

Got into a huge fight with my boyfriend because of his obsession with Bob Marley. He got me so mad I dumped him and then on the way out of his house I stole his satellite tv box.

Hope his love for Bob Marley was worth it as he now has

No woman no Sky

???

 

[x65943]

Got into a huge fight with my boyfriend because of his obsession with Bob Marley. He got me so mad I dumped him and then on the way out of his house I stole his satellite tv box.

Hope his love for Bob Marley was worth it as he now has

No woman no Sky

Amanda....what???

Surely this is all a joke because - I've had some wildly unstable crazy relationships - but breaking up over Bob Marley is next level

 

[AmandaRose]

Amanda....what???

Surely this is all a joke because - I've had some wildly unstable crazy relationships - but breaking up over Bob Marley is next level

I guess it's a joke only people who know Bob Marley lyrics and know that the UKs number one TV providers name is Sky will get that joke

 

[BigOnYa]

I guess it's a joke only people who know Bob Marley lyrics and know that the UKs number one TV providers name is Sky will get that joke

I'm in the USA and even I know of Sky TV 1,2,3,4 etc

 

[BakerMan]

Hey @JuanMena I call your mom Dwayne the way she Rock my Johnson

 

[CoolMe]

???

"No woman no cry" is a Bob Marley song, "No woman no Sky" no Amanda and no Sky sports etc channels. Get it?