Post text jokes here

[impeeza]

Empires were ruled by emperors
Kingdoms were ruled by kings
But today, we have countries......

Count von Count?

 

[impeeza]

Which are the 5 white things do a black person have?:

• Hands palms
• teet
• eyes
• feet bottom
• owner

 

[Noctosphere]

Which are the 5 thing a black person have:

• Hands palms
• teet
• eyes
• feet bottom
• owner

dont you mean "5 white thing"?

 

[impeeza]

dont you mean "5 white thing"?

yeah!!!

Post automatically merged: Jun 28, 2024

corrected!

 

[Noctosphere]

yeah!!!

Post automatically merged: Jun 28, 2024

corrected!

How dare you call owners "things" like they were objects

 

[Noctosphere]

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair
Guess who came back crawling?


Why is the transgender man only eating salad?

Spoiler

because he was a her before

 

[Veho]

Why is the transgender man only eating salad?

Spoiler

because he was a her before

Is the joke here that women only eat salad? Because I know for a fact uremom gobbles meat

Spoiler: You know who else likes meat?

 

[Noctosphere]

Is the joke here that women only eat salad? Because I know for a fact uremom gobbles meat

View attachment 449652

Spoiler: You know who else likes meat?

View attachment 449653

More like "her before" sounds like "herbivore"

 

[Veho]

More like "her before" sounds like "herbivore"

Maybe in Quebecois

 

[Noctosphere]

Just heard this joke, the more spoiler you open, the worst it will get

Spoiler

During the covid, the face mask was one of the worst thing ever

Spoiler

because at first we were cheated by padded bra, now we were cheated by crooked teeth...

Spoiler

During the pandemic I fell in love with the lady at the convenience store who was wearing a face mask

Spoiler

but it was just a boy with tits full of diabetes

Spoiler

and goddamit he had dry lips....

Spoiler

Let's say it, having the heart broken is one thing, having my stick grated is another thing

 

[x65943]

Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.

Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date?
Answer: What second date?

 

[impeeza]

Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.

 

[Noctosphere]

An old and sick man is at the hospital, his wife at his side. They've been maried for 50 years.
The old man, who is about to die, gives a key to his wife and tell her : This is the key to my vault at the bank. Just don't open it before I die.
The old lady, back at home, can't stop thinking about what could be inside the vault. She decides to go open it.
Inside the vault, she finds 3 golf balls and 27 rolls of 50$ bills. She wonders what is all this.
She goes back to the hospital and asks her husband what this is.
The old man answers her : Well, everytime I would cheat on you, I would put a golf ball in the vault.
The lady ponders : 50 years of marriage, 3 cheating, that's not so bad
She then asks him : What about the 27 rolls of 50$ bills? Where does that money come from?
The old man: That is from all the golf balls I sold.

 

[impeeza]

What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? -about 140 calories

 

[Cranesbill]

 

[x65943]

女人1：姐妹你说，找什么样的男人才幸福呢？
女人2：我给你6个建议
女人1：什么建议啊？快说
女人2：
第一，找一个能让你笑的男人。
第二，找一个有稳定工作的男人
第三，找一个浪漫的男人
第四，找一个喜欢干家务的男人
第五，找一个诚实的男人
第六，千万，不要让他们5个人同时见面
女人1：那怎么忙得过来呀

Girl 1: sis, what kind of guy should I find to be happy?
Girl 2: I'll give you 6 suggestions
Girl 1: what suggestions, tell me already!
Girl 2:

• 1st, find a man that makes you laugh
• 2nd, find a man who has a stable job
• 3rd, find a man who is romantic
• 4th, find a man that likes to do house work
• 5th, find a man who is honest
• 6th, and this is important, don't let the 5 guys meet each other

Girl 1: ah, who has the time for all that!

 

[Noctosphere]

A Temu warehouse was destroyed by a fire today.
Estimated loss : 67.23$

 

[Noctosphere]

What do you call a lesbian on fire?
A LGBBQ

 

[handy333]

handy333

 

[impeeza]

handy333