Parenting

[FAST6191]

Yesterday, we saw two grandparents with a cute kid in McDoanld's and they just sat down and gave him a iPad or something like that with a headphones so he can focus on it and keep him busy while they chats. That's rotten things to do. So heartless!

Before I even get to the context arguments (how do you know they were not on the way back from the kid's little mozart recital at the sports game and had given the kid the ipad for him to draw them some art on...) is that really a bad thing?
Unless you meant feeding someone mcdonalds... that is some heinous shit.

 

[Sheimi]

I have a nephew that loves me and his uncles. Always asks me "Can you play your game on your phone or handheld". He'll sit there next to me and watch. Always finds me playing retro games.

 

[spotanjo3]

Before I even get to the context arguments (how do you know they were not on the way back from the kid's little mozart recital at the sports game and had given the kid the ipad for him to draw them some art on...) is that really a bad thing?
Unless you meant feeding someone mcdonalds... that is some heinous shit.

I am not talking about feeding someone Mcdonald's and it s not a bad things as long its once in a while for kid to asked for.

To draw them some art on or something is not a bad thing too only if a kid ask for it and its fine at home if he want to. In McDonald's or anywhere, they are supposed to spend time with kid and chat with kid and listen to kid's expressed about McDonald's perhaps or talked about the toy or something. Its called communication relationship. This kid didn't asked them about it. They just get it out and put everything into it and put him on the headphone and he didn't say anything. Until, his food is almost running out and he did said something about his french fry. Oh, so cute when he say something to his grandfather and sadly, grandfather say yeah and thats it. He just talked with his wife continuously instead. So, this kid just silent himself quietly and continuing watched this iPad thing. Poor him! SIGHING.

 

[FAST6191]

McDonalds not bad? Even without the rest of the post I sense we have a rather different approach to such things. For my money the only bad thing there, other than having to try to eat what mcdonalds calls food, is getting greasy fingers over a touchscreen. Equally I do not see a notable difference between at home and in a restaurant mcdonalds in this case either.

 

[G0R3Z]

McDonalds not bad? Even without the rest of the post I sense we have a rather different approach to such things. For my money the only bad thing there, other than having to try to eat what mcdonalds calls food, is getting greasy fingers over a touchscreen. Equally I do not see a notable difference between at home and in a restaurant mcdonalds in this case either.

I've got agree. McDonalds is long term damage that induces obesity. Because of the ingredients and preservatives they use, the fat is hard to work off, even for a normal active child. We actually had a little while where we ate fast food a lot when we got our first car and decent job as we could finally afford it. We got sick of it immediately. I actually had food poisoning once. The missus found a blonde hair in her burger as well; none of us are blonde.

 

[Lucifer666]

I'm by no means a parent and I'm not an uncle either... but I do babysit my little sister. Our age gap is well over a decade, weird or what? Just when you thought the gap couldn't be worse I also have an older brother. We're practically another set of parents for the littlun

Anyway I think my decision not to get kids was largely influenced by her, actually. As awful as it sounds. I always thought kids would be sunshine and rainbows but after having her, I realise that whilst that is true, the work and maintenance you've gotta put in is a LOT. And for me, personally, it's just not worth it.

Plus I'm sure I wouldn't make all that great of a dad. I'm really not outwardly sentimental at all and due to certain mental health-related aspects I also have a distinct degree of apathy. I fear I'd be a culprit of child neglect, something I suffered from with my dad and it really is pretty terrible

If I do change my mind at any point down the line I'm sure I'd adopt. Because I don't believe in any crap about families having to have a 'pure bloodline' or anything like that, I don't care too much about the child having any of my genes or resemblance (at least that's how I feel now). And if I want to get a kid, then why not get one of the many kids who have been deprived of a family?

 

[Hungry Friend]

I'll sometimes babysit my nieces and I'm fairly good with them...for a couple hours. I have absolutely no patience with loud, screaming kids with high-pitched voices and as much as I love my nieces and nephews, kids drive me up the fucking wall. I don't dislike kids but I can only handle them in small doses, and I know for a fact that I'd make a shitty parent. Also, there are more than enough humans on the planet imo.

As for fast food, I ate too much of it as a kid but I don't blame my parents as I was a little pain in the ass, but if I had kids I wouldn't feed them that shit. I'll still eat unhealthy shit every now and then(yesterday being an example) but just don't eat it/feed it to your kids often.

Also, sorry for the OT shit yesterday; I was a little sleep deprived/out of it & I was posting random nonsense.

 

[spotanjo3]

McDonalds not bad? Even without the rest of the post I sense we have a rather different approach to such things. For my money the only bad thing there, other than having to try to eat what mcdonalds calls food, is getting greasy fingers over a touchscreen. Equally I do not see a notable difference between at home and in a restaurant mcdonalds in this case either.

I mean not bad just for once in a while. I do not agreed with them getting kids to McDonald's all the time because it is GROSS and bad for you anyway. However, you know what I mean about neglected kids and let them played with iPad or something and not spent time with kids instead.

 

[FAST6191]

I have no objection to salty greaseburgers, however mcdonalds just tastes awful and goes through me at a pace that is scary which is my main objection. Also I still disagree entirely that giving your kid an electronic toy to play with is any kind of bad parenting. Probably does not want to be the sole point of interaction but I would not bat an eyelid if I walked into a restaurant and saw such a thing and find it strange that anybody would.

 

[pastaconsumer]

I'd be a shit parent. Not just because I'm 16, but also because of... "Reasons"... 3 year old son sits in front of the TV that is being used to play Corpse Party Book of Shadows... at the end of Episode 1: Seal...

 

[MarcusRaven]

29, father of 2 (kind of. Oldest is my stepson, but I'm the only dad he's got. ). They still live, and are quite happy. I mostly get upset when they watch My Little Pony without me (which they are doing right now ), because I really enjoy the reboot. Its fun to revisit things I liked as a kid, now that they are all updated and on Netflix. My son loves Transformers, and my daughter loves Pokemon. We all watch Beast Wars, Digimon, MLP, etc together. Its great!

 

[SammyPoke]

I'm 26 . . . snip.

sorry but this was long, I did read it all though, and I found your life very
interesting and strange, because my best friend is just like you which I never thought I would find someone else. You seamed to have had kids at a relatively "normal young age" but some people decide to have kids when they're in their 30s' and I completely agree. I had the most wonderful childhood growing up as a single child when to my parents who were 31 and 32 respectively had me. Since they only had to worry about me, life was pretty relaxed and my parents never freaked about anything I did, I was also a cautious child so I never really got into trouble. They had an amazing sex life, . . in fact maybe too amazing, I found out later when I was an adult that a lot of my next door neighbors were envious of how well my parents got along together. Having kids in your 20s is hard because that's when you want to party and explore the world also you're not financially stable and need to learn how to be independent, when you're 30 you probably already have a job along with a degree or training and you've probably found the one who would like to raise a family with.

*As for me I would like to have 1 to 2 kids, but NOT 3 or more. Everyone's different some people want a lot of kids some want none.

 

[G0R3Z]

sorry but this was long, I did read it all though, and I found your life very
interesting and strange, because my best friend is just like you which I never thought I would find someone else. You seamed to have had kids at a relatively "normal young age" but some people decide to have kids when they're in their 30s' and I completely agree. I had the most wonderful childhood growing up as a single child when to my parents who were 31 and 32 respectively had me. Since they only had to worry about me, life was pretty relaxed and my parents never freaked about anything I did, I was also a cautious child so I never really got into trouble. They had an amazing sex life, . . in fact maybe too amazing, I found out later when I was an adult that a lot of my next door neighbors were envious of how well my parents got along together. Having kids in your 20s is hard because that's when you want to party and explore the world also you're not financially stable and need to learn how to be independent, when you're 30 you probably already have a job along with a degree or training and you've probably found the one who would like to raise a family with.

*As for me I would like to have 1 to 2 kids, but NOT 3 or more. Everyone's different some people want a lot of kids some want none.

Our problems seem to be a reverse of most peoples. We have enough money, she works as a bookkeeper and I'm a graphic designer who works from home. Money is no real object and the kids have what they need. We don't struggle to afford things.

But it's our physical life that has no real existence. You can't have a good relationship without sex, and people who disagree are complete liars. 'Sexless Marriages' don't exist happily, and the ones that do normally involve adultery and divorce.

 

[TecXero]

The idea of having a child does sound interesting, but then I think about the level of responsibility required and finances, I quickly get over the interest. Am I selfish? Yes, and I'm fine with that. My girlfriend and I have talked about adoption eventually, but even then we want to hold off until we're financially comfortable and are sure we'll be able to provide the attention he/she/it will need.

 

[Hungry Friend]

G0R3Z: Other than the rare asexual couple(is that actually a real thing? lol) I tend to agree. For a relationship to work there has to be at least some physical connection but at the same time I really, really don't want kids so I'm very careful when it comes to protection. Without that animalistic attraction, a relationship has no soul so to speak.

 

[ii-c-going]

I'm a father to my 4 (almost 5) year old. Couldn't live without him, and never had any regrets about him.
Fun thing is: he wants to be 'just like daddy'. Every night before bedtime there's a ritual: playing mariokart wii for a few laps.

Off course I respect anyone who says 'I'll never want any kids', but at the same time I think it's also true: you just can't imagine what it's like to have kids before you get them.

 

[SammyPoke]

Our problems seem to be a reverse of most peoples. We have enough money, she works as a bookkeeper and I'm a graphic designer who works from home. Money is no real object and the kids have what they need. We don't struggle to afford things.

But it's our physical life that has no real existence. You can't have a good relationship without sex, and people who disagree are complete liars. 'Sexless Marriages' don't exist happily, and the ones that do normally involve adultery and divorce.

Have you read any books to help deal with this? You know there are a lot of resources available both online for 'improving the intimacy with your spouse'. All your kids are pretty young so I can understand why she might be a bit unforbearing when it comes to intimacy. Also intimacy leads to more kids, does she want another? Husbands also process relationships different from wives (men and women in general). There are different reasons for this issue, but once they are found they can be removed and the relationships can improve.

 

[Bubbysaur]

I'm not a parent yet, but my girlfriend's nieces and nephews are precious to me. I consider all of the babies/kids in their age group to be the future of this world. :3

 

[elmoemo]

No kids yet, nieces and nephews though. Hope to trace next year then time for kids lol

 

[Hungry Friend]

Have you read any books to help deal with this? You know there are a lot of resources available both online for 'improving the intimacy with your spouse'. All your kids are pretty young so I can understand why she might be a bit unforbearing when it comes to intimacy. Also intimacy leads to more kids, does she want another? Husbands also process relationships different from wives (men and women in general). There are different reasons for this issue, but once they are found they can be removed and the relationships can improve.

imo it depends on whether there was a spark in that relationship to begin with. If there originally was one, of course it can be recaptured although how that can be done is both none of my business and entirely up to G0R3Z and his wife. I certainly hope they can work it out though for the sake of the kids, and that's one more reason I don't want kids. If by some small chance my gf and I's relationship doesn't work out but we had kids, it would be a huge mess that would hurt both us and the kids.