MPRTwice: a parody

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x65943

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I am immortal
I am stronger than Goku
Faster than Sanic
Swifter than the move swift from pokemon (blue specifically)
More purpler than Barney, but only as long as that's badass and cool, if it's not I'm not
A better teacher than Peggy

Btw did I mention I once stopped bullets Neo style in real life???
 
This is literally and actually a documentary footage of myself
giphy (1).gif
 
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I am immortal
I am stronger than Goku
Faster than Sanic
Swifter than the move swift from pokemon (blue specifically)
More purpler than Barney, but only as long as that's badass and cool, if it's not I'm not
A better teacher than Peggy

Btw did I mention I once stopped bullets Neo style in real life???
nice try, satan! salty 'cause i just kicked your ass in hand in hand combat? it's not my fault my body can withstand x1000 hits from someone x100 my weight, and they called me skinny.. haha, maybe stop complaining and try to step up your game abit for a change, eh?
 
This is literally and actually a documentary footage of myself
View attachment 555247
neo despite being the one he's isn't that impressive when it comes to hand in hand, as demonstrated in the virtual morpheus fight, and even the fight against the army of Mr. Smiths, i could've easily defeated atleast 1000 more of them without ever breaking a sweat, pffffft :sleep:
 
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nice try, satan! salty 'cause i just kicked your ass in hand in hand combat? it's not my fault my body can withstand x1000 hits from someone x100 my weight, and they called me skinny.. haha, maybe stop complaining and try to step up your game abit for a change, eh?
Don't even TRY to come at me bro

I literally own a cad program
I could make a billion trillion JILLION dollarinos
Have you SEEN my sims house??????

I fought sepsis and won, and now everyone is mad because I'm immortal and f@#ked their moms (with the permission of Jesus my lord and savior peace be upon him amen)

I'm such a great teacher that 3 of my students literally digivolved into war graymon
 
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If he was AI could he beat sepsis with both his hands behind his back and still have his foot left over to kick Satan while dodging crazy drivers AND make a house in AutoCAD pro?

Nope
He could higher someone off fiverr to do all those things while feeding him 30,000cals of food a day.
 
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I am immortal
I am stronger than Goku
Faster than Sanic
Swifter than the move swift from pokemon (blue specifically)
More purpler than Barney, but only as long as that's badass and cool, if it's not I'm not
A better teacher than Peggy

Btw did I mention I once stopped bullets Neo style in real life???
first rule of teaching is no profanity. So I'm better at teaching than you are.

shrugs.jpg
 
He already does, how do you think he got sepsis?

Those darn kids teeth got in the way
I don't hit kids in classrooms; I hit their combat sports bosses gently enough to knock them out after politely asking to spar them.

The only time sparring kids is ok is if all parties sign a waiver and it is a training session where you are holding back to show them self-defense and how to protect the weak; those kiddos hit harder than pro boxers on adrenaline.

The pro boxer adrenal punch from a heavier and bigger guy to my jaw was unexpected when doing mitt work; not a single bit of damage, pain, and numbness.

jaw one.jpg

jaw 2.jpg

my adult student took that like a champ! I use headgear in the presence of some kids if they might misfire a punch to the head. But this man here just smiled and continued. He even sparred better after the jaw kick and no breaks from the session.


 
Last edited by MPRTwice,
I don't hit kids in clasrooms; I hit their combat sports bosses gently enough to knock them out after politely asking to spar them.

The only time sparring kids is ok is if all parties sign a waiver and it is a training session where you are holding back to show them self-defense and how to protect the weak; those kiddos hit harder than pro boxers on adrenaline.

The pro boxer adrenal punch from a heavier and bigger guy to my jaw was unexpected when doing mitt work; not a single bit of damage, pain, and numbness.

View attachment 555269
View attachment 555270
he took that like a champ! I use headgear in the presence of some kids if they might misfire a punch to the head. But this man here just smiled and continued. He even sparred better after the jaw kick and no breaks from the session.
Just add it in the fine print "it's okay if I knock out your kid" most parents won't be upset
 
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