Mass Effect 3 copies fall from the sky

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Vulpes Abnocto, Feb 24, 2012.

Feb 24, 2012
  1. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    By now the balloon-distributed copies of the eagerly awaited finale to the Mass Effect saga have begun their gentle descent to Earth, and below them are mobs of young gamers leaping to be the first to lead their crew of aliens in saving the galaxy.
    [​IMG]
    Unfortunately, nobody planned for the eventuality that the weather balloons and payload would become stuck 150' (~50m) up in a tree.
    Three enterprising youngsters have already fallen to their deaths in vain attempts to climb the old growth affectionately referred to as "The Treeper".
    We interviewed one of the bystanders at the scene as the bodies of his companions were being carried away.
    [​IMG]
    "Just leave him there so we have something to stand on. That gets us nearly a foot closer, already."
    Some of the gamers have banded together, scrounging their allowances and lunch money to hire a tree surgeon to climb up and retrieve the game. Currently leading the race toward the $1000 needed to hire such an expert is one of the few female gamers in attendance, who has offered to flash or fondle any of the bystanders that will provide funding to her.

    At another location, two teens have been shot dead when trespassing upon a neighbor's land in an attempt to get their space game. The old hermit shouted from his porch that "Dem kids wuz tryin' ta steal that there UFO what crashed on mah prop'ty!" before promptly holing himself and the game up in his cabin. The FBI is currently trying to negotiate with the man. When contacted for comment, Bioware said:
    "This is oddly quite close to what we expected, apart from the shotgun."

    Stay tuned for continual updates on Mass Effect Tree.
    [​IMG]
    "Ah yes, Treepers....
    This is a work of satire, and though the images are actual gamers huddled beneath an actual copy of Mass Effect 3, none of the rest should be taken seriously.
     
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  2. Black-Ice

    Member Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    Waiting for updates on a tree. From a fox
    I need to review my life.
     
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  3. Tom Bombadildo

    Contributor Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I wish I were there, I'd get the game and then smash it in front of everyone there.

    EDIT: Although if the bitch offering to fondle people is hot I'd probably have her fondle me first...then I'll smash it. Cuz hey, free handjob/blowjob.
     
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  4. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    UPDATE! famous circus performer Icarus Le Pétomane, the Human Cannonball is being rushed to the site of the treed game.
    We're told that the extraction attempt may look something like this:


    Live, on-the-scene coverage!
     
  5. BoxmanWTF

    Member BoxmanWTF ♪Toot Toot Sonic Warrior♫

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    HUSH
    THIS IS ME POSTING AFTER I REREAD FINE PRINT
     
  6. Black-Ice

    Member Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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  7. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    2 people like this.
  8. AlanJohn

    Member AlanJohn くたばれ

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    When I was 5, I thought that shit fell from the sky, because I imagined thats how airplanes dispose shit.

    Now I can't believe it, shit really falls from the sky, but now with DRM!
     
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  9. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    Blue Ice
     
  10. Black-Ice

    Member Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    Black-Ice
     
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  11. AlanJohn

    Member AlanJohn くたばれ

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    Black Man
     
  12. Black-Ice

    Member Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    Black President
     
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  13. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    QUIT CLUTTERING UP MY INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NEWS ARTICLE!

    :angry:
     
  14. DarkStriker

    Member DarkStriker GBAtemp's Kpop lover!

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    *A post trying to clutter up this thread*
     
  15. Skelletonike

    Member Skelletonike ♂ ♥ Gallant Pervert ♥ ♀

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    I wonder how they'll decided who keeps the game?
    Either someone will quickly steal it from the person that first grabbed it and then dash to their car/bike and get the hell away from the angry crowd, or if they'll just do a survival of the fittest. =3
     
  16. Vulpes Abnocto
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    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    Just wait, people being beaten to death comes tomorrow.

    Ah fuck I spoiled it.
     
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  17. Gundam Eclipse

    Member Gundam Eclipse True Demon Route

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    Real life multiplayer matches of course.
    Person with most kills wins the game!
    And since its real life, a free assortment of various law keeping forces chasing his or her ass!
    And just like online mulltiplayer matches, there will be cussing all around along with various campers!
     
  18. FireGrey

    Member FireGrey Undercover Admin

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    I don't care for Mass Effect 3 but I might join in on that just for that gamer girl that fondles everyone.
     

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