Its why did Michael Jackson go to K-mart? Because he heard that kids pants are half off!
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Ok, in honor of that fantastic DBZ lightbulb joke that I'd never heard, and laughed my butt off...
How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of it's own revolution.
also...
A man entered a pun contest by sending in 10 puns in the hopes that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun intended.
How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of it's own revolution.
also...
A man entered a pun contest by sending in 10 puns in the hopes that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun intended.
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Got 3 jokes for ya:
What's red and looks like a bucket?
... A red bucket
OMGBBQLOL!
A holiday joke:
What did Santa Clause say to the three girls?
(Figure it out your selves.)
A military joke:
How many officers does it take to screw a light bulb?
None! They'll get an Enlisted men (Non-commisioned Member) to do it!
I know, not funny to civilians...
What's red and looks like a bucket?
... A red bucket
OMGBBQLOL!
A holiday joke:
What did Santa Clause say to the three girls?
(Figure it out your selves.)
A military joke:
How many officers does it take to screw a light bulb?
None! They'll get an Enlisted men (Non-commisioned Member) to do it!
I know, not funny to civilians...
OMG I must make those my own, absolutely excellent!
Hmm... time for a long one.
President Bush, Bill Gates, Queen Elizabeth, the Pope, and a little boy are all on an airplane flying to France, when the plane is hit by a ground to air missile fired by terrorists. The pilot is killed instantly. There are only 4 parachutes on the plane, however. Bill Gates reacts quickly, saying "I'm the richest man on earth, I can't die like this!" He grabs a parachute and jumps. Elizabeth says "I'm the queen, my people need me, I won't die here!" She jumps off with a parachute.
Bush says "Im duh leedur uv du free wurld, i cant di liek dis." He grabes a chute and jumps. The pope then says to the little boy " I am old, you my friend, are the future. Take the last parachute." The little boy responded "Don't worry mister pope, the president took my backpack!"
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This was funny as it came out of no where when we were playing a game in English class.
Teacher: What do you find in a little boys pocket? (it was supposed to be marbles)
Student: Michael Jackson's hands.
Teacher: What do you find in a little boys pocket? (it was supposed to be marbles)
Student: Michael Jackson's hands.
What do you call maxconsole.com?
A suckass biased POS site!
XD
>_>Â Yeah.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cause he was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall from the tree?Â
He was stapled to the first.
Why did the third monkey fall from the tree?
Peer pressure.
haha to the maxconsole joke.
i've heard a similar monkey joke, except it was something to do with it having fridges thrown at itlol
fucking brilliant!
End of tax year and a synagogue does all the taxes and sends it in to the inland revenue/tax office.
The tax office decides to audit them and sends a guy over.
Taxman: I notice you use a lot of candles, what do you do with all the drippings?
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them to the manufacturer and occasionally they send us a complete box of new candles.
The taxman decides to try again.
Taxman: I notice you use a lot of bread, what do you do with all the crumbs.
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them to the manufacturer and occasionally they send us a crate of bread.
The taxman is kind of annoyed at these smart alec replies so he tries again to catch the rabbi out.
Taxman: I notice you perform a lot of circumcisions, what do you do with the foreskins.
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them in to the inland revenue and every year they send us a complete dick.
The tax office decides to audit them and sends a guy over.
Taxman: I notice you use a lot of candles, what do you do with all the drippings?
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them to the manufacturer and occasionally they send us a complete box of new candles.
The taxman decides to try again.
Taxman: I notice you use a lot of bread, what do you do with all the crumbs.
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them to the manufacturer and occasionally they send us a crate of bread.
The taxman is kind of annoyed at these smart alec replies so he tries again to catch the rabbi out.
Taxman: I notice you perform a lot of circumcisions, what do you do with the foreskins.
Rabbi: Well we collect them up and send them in to the inland revenue and every year they send us a complete dick.
How does Victoria Beckham change a lightbulb ?
-She simply hods the bulb against the socket, and the world revolves around her
At a recent press conference about his divorce, Sir Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again.
He replied "I don't know about that........ she's got a lot of apologising to do first!"
I can't stand the way all these jokes are appearing about Sir Paul McCartney & Heather's breakup - all anyone seems to care about is making jokes about her false leg.
It's prosthetic !
A tunnel collapses at a gold mine in Australia.... One of the miners has his leg pinned by a huge lump of rock...... They summon the doc, who looks at it shaking his head..... "I'm afraid it's gonna have to come off Bruce", he says....."Strewth doc, not me leg" Bruce replies......"Who's got any use for a one-legged gold digger ?"
"You could always give Paul McCartney a ring" replies the doc.
Finally, one for the oldies.....
What's got 4 legs and goes "WOOF" ?
-Piper Alpha (Don't expect many of you to get this!!!)
-She simply hods the bulb against the socket, and the world revolves around her
At a recent press conference about his divorce, Sir Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again.
He replied "I don't know about that........ she's got a lot of apologising to do first!"
I can't stand the way all these jokes are appearing about Sir Paul McCartney & Heather's breakup - all anyone seems to care about is making jokes about her false leg.
It's prosthetic !
A tunnel collapses at a gold mine in Australia.... One of the miners has his leg pinned by a huge lump of rock...... They summon the doc, who looks at it shaking his head..... "I'm afraid it's gonna have to come off Bruce", he says....."Strewth doc, not me leg" Bruce replies......"Who's got any use for a one-legged gold digger ?"
"You could always give Paul McCartney a ring" replies the doc.
Finally, one for the oldies.....
What's got 4 legs and goes "WOOF" ?
-Piper Alpha (Don't expect many of you to get this!!!)
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A woman's antique clock quits working and she goes downtown to find a place she can get it fixed at. She comes across a shop with a bunch of clocks in the window, so she goes in. Inside behind a counter sits a Rabbi.
Woman: I'd like to get my clock fixed please.
Rabbi: I'm sorry but we don't fix clocks, we do circumcisions.
Woman: But then why do you have all those clocks in the window..
Rabbi: So what should we have in the window?
A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects.
"What's this?" he asks.
"Cojones, señor," the waiter replies.
"What are cojones?" the man asks.
"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."
At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller.
"What's this?" he asks the waiter.
"Cojones, señor," the waiter replies.
"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these."
"Señor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."
"What's this?" he asks.
"Cojones, señor," the waiter replies.
"What are cojones?" the man asks.
"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."
At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller.
"What's this?" he asks the waiter.
"Cojones, señor," the waiter replies.
"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these."
"Señor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."
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- Knock! Knock!
- Who's there?
- Alzheimer!
- Alzheimer who?
- Erm.. What?
Yeah, I know, it's horrible.
- Who's there?
- Alzheimer!
- Alzheimer who?
- Erm.. What?
Yeah, I know, it's horrible.
What does shadowboy do first thing in the morning?
Surf gbatemp!
What is white and destroyed shadowboy's school?
A snow day!
No school FTW!
Surf gbatemp!
What is white and destroyed shadowboy's school?
A snow day!
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