Okaysolike there was a lineup of young girls in a clearing in the forest, and some naruto-anbu-style (just bird masks) guys were going down the line and touching their privates to make sure they were still virgins, for like, something. One girl obviously didn't want her turn in line to come, and was wishing really hard for a distraction. Well she got one, in the form of a huge red meteor coming towards the planet.
I and some unnamed people decided on a plan. While the rest of the world was freaking out and running around like chickens when their heads cut off, The Pope and I would go to Walmart and grab some food. Then we'd all build some makeshift shelter out of bricks (which would be earth just formed into the shape of bricks and painted blue) and duck behind it to avoid dying from the meteor. It was a flawless plan, I tell you!
So suddenly the pope transformed into a giant boomerang-shaped piece of wood, so I could carry him around and ride him to the store. So I set him down and sit on him and push on the ground with my legs to move around quicker (though it's hardly effective). So there I am riding the pope to Walmart, and as I'm about to pass through a tunnel people start running away screaming. You know, 'cause the earth is doomed and all. So I'm all "Yeah, while you all are running around I'll be getting food at Walmart!", and then the PopeMobile™ and I reach Walmart's entrance. Well, the entrance is on fire, but luckily they fix it before I walk in, carrying the transformed Pope on my shoulders.
We've got $40 to get enough food, so we're picky. I walk around and he's talking to me, helping me pick out some good juice (because we need to eat healthy during the death of the planet), when we spot some guys who used to work at the Geek Squad, and now they work in the food department of Walmart. Unfortunately they're just as pushy and conniving as usual, one of them even putting stuff I don't need into my bag to get me to buy it. I play along, and when he's out of rage I put the crap back on the shelf. Well next I go to get some cereal, and I ask the Pope what kind he wants. He doesn't respond, so I ask him a few more times before realizing he didn't respond because my grandmother and aunt are coming towards me and he didn't want the public to know of his powers.
My family members know of my plan and want to alter it, stating I don't need as much food as I picked out. We're at the checkout line and I end up with nothing but some generic shredded wheat and some juice. I complain that we'd need 1000 calories each for when the meteor hits, then turn to my Aunt (who's a nurse) to confirm. She points at the cereal box to me, I read it and it's 995 calories, so I give in, plotting to return to walmart when they're not there to pick up the food I'd really need.
Then I woke up.
I and some unnamed people decided on a plan. While the rest of the world was freaking out and running around like chickens when their heads cut off, The Pope and I would go to Walmart and grab some food. Then we'd all build some makeshift shelter out of bricks (which would be earth just formed into the shape of bricks and painted blue) and duck behind it to avoid dying from the meteor. It was a flawless plan, I tell you!
So suddenly the pope transformed into a giant boomerang-shaped piece of wood, so I could carry him around and ride him to the store. So I set him down and sit on him and push on the ground with my legs to move around quicker (though it's hardly effective). So there I am riding the pope to Walmart, and as I'm about to pass through a tunnel people start running away screaming. You know, 'cause the earth is doomed and all. So I'm all "Yeah, while you all are running around I'll be getting food at Walmart!", and then the PopeMobile™ and I reach Walmart's entrance. Well, the entrance is on fire, but luckily they fix it before I walk in, carrying the transformed Pope on my shoulders.
We've got $40 to get enough food, so we're picky. I walk around and he's talking to me, helping me pick out some good juice (because we need to eat healthy during the death of the planet), when we spot some guys who used to work at the Geek Squad, and now they work in the food department of Walmart. Unfortunately they're just as pushy and conniving as usual, one of them even putting stuff I don't need into my bag to get me to buy it. I play along, and when he's out of rage I put the crap back on the shelf. Well next I go to get some cereal, and I ask the Pope what kind he wants. He doesn't respond, so I ask him a few more times before realizing he didn't respond because my grandmother and aunt are coming towards me and he didn't want the public to know of his powers.
My family members know of my plan and want to alter it, stating I don't need as much food as I picked out. We're at the checkout line and I end up with nothing but some generic shredded wheat and some juice. I complain that we'd need 1000 calories each for when the meteor hits, then turn to my Aunt (who's a nurse) to confirm. She points at the cereal box to me, I read it and it's 995 calories, so I give in, plotting to return to walmart when they're not there to pick up the food I'd really need.
Then I woke up.
![[M]artin](/data/avatars/l/53/53229.jpg?1568173037){kind=avatar}
