GBAtemp Writers' Guild

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Okay guys, I finally have a proper plot in mind for my story. Let me run this by everyone and see what you guys think.

The story starts out with Silver and slowly introduces the characters. It's 200 years after Earth was hit. Many players have settled down and began to have families. Several problems arose from this. One huge problem were the fact that unlike their parents, the children aged. They were dubbed Terrestrians.

The first quest of our heroes is to figure out why a man (Zaos Twain) who died was able to come back. At one point they finally meet Zaos Twain (who took Wilde as his last name later). They come to figure out, Zaos is actually the living conduit that the Terrestria creator (basically the server admin) communicates through.

About halfway through the story, they actually meet the Creator. He tells our heroes that there is some trouble going on in Terrestria. There is a religious cult that is gaining power slowly. The entire point of the cult is to convince players that they need to die. That their very existence is an abomination. After a short Q&A session the creator refuses to tell them any more.

Now they have a problem. The heroes don't know when or where the cult will strike first. So they decide to work together to gather resources and establish their own guild to help raise awareness.

Now we begin part two. It involves a time skip of 75 years. The guild itself has broken up. Everyone became tired of looking out for the threat that never came. The few characters who kept in contact continued to train themselves because they never stopped waiting for the threat.

Before too long, the cult finally begins their crusade and they have indoctrinated many of the Terrestrians to fight against the humans and a gigantic war breaks out. The story ends when the heroes stop the uprising. At the end I plan to hint at the beginning of the next book while still giving the first a concrete ending.

Silver and his wife April visit the creator again. He reveals that Terrestria was not the only MMO that used his control scheme. There are 4 other servers in Jupiter's orbit. There's Luna, Celeste, Okeanos, and Caelum. Luna is a futuristic survival horror server. If you need an example, think Dead Space. Celeste is another futuristic server like Eve Online or Mass Effect. Both Okeonos and Caelum are pure fantasy while Terrestria is a mix of fantasy and science.

The kicker is that every server can potentially communicate with each other. Both Luna and Celeste allowed cross server travel after the Earth was destroyed. Now, the monsters and other stuff of Luna has traveled to Celeste and turned the servers into living hell. Since the server populations are dwindling, both Luna and Celeste are trying to invade Terrestria to try and repopulate. The creator knew what kind of problems the cross server visitation presented and closed off the communications when the other games were launched. This was all before the apocalypse.

Well, the 'gods' of Celeste and Luna got together and successfully breached Terrestria. Now it's a full on war and a fight to keep the hellish monsters and hardened warriors of the two servers at bay. Can our heroes close off the portal to hell?
 
Well, Sterling, that is one hell of a plot! I like it very much.
I also like the concept (dealing with a MMO) of your story, because I started watching Sword Art Online not a long time ago,
and I think there are almost no good stories dealing with Virtual Reality.

Hope you'll make your plan come true! :D
 
Well, Sterling, that is one hell of a plot! I like it very much.
I also like the concept (dealing with a MMO) of your story, because I started watching Sword Art Online not a long time ago,
and I think there are almost no good stories dealing with Virtual Reality.

Hope you'll make your plan come true! :D
Thanks man. I take a lot of inspirations from things like the matrix, SAO, and Code Lyoko. Code Lyoko was actually where the Idea stemmed from. In that series, your body and mind was actually transferred to cyberspace.

Since I posted the plot, I've done a lot more thinking. I figured that I'd do a spin off story after I finish with the first two books. This one will tell the tragedy Luna and Celeste. In fact, only a single person makes it out alive to Terrestria (where the war between servers is going on). All his friends and even his girlfriend is killed. The only reason he isn't completely broken is because he's been desensitized by all the senseless violence of the Luna server.


EDIT: BUT, I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to take things on step at a time. I need to get the first book finished first before I do anything else. xD
 
Thanks man. I take a lot of inspirations from things like the matrix, SAO, and Code Lyoko. Code Lyoko was actually where the Idea stemmed from. In that series, your body and mind was actually transferred to cyberspace.

Since I posted the plot, I've done a lot more thinking. I figured that I'd do a spin off story after I finish with the first two books. This one will tell the tragedy Luna and Celeste. In fact, only a single person makes it out alive to Terrestria (where the war between servers is going on). All his friends and even his girlfriend is killed. The only reason he isn't completely broken is because he's been desensitized by all the senseless violence of the Luna server.


EDIT: BUT, I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to take things on step at a time. I need to get the first book finished first before I do anything else. xD

Yeah, I know that feeling. I also tend to rush myself into thinking about many plotpoints for my story, but not arranging them into a whole piece.
That's what happens when you have a fountain of creativity inside your brains. :lol:
 
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@Sterlling - Hm... A VR-based apocalypse/end of the world story eh? Interesting. I'm not exactly into VR though [I skipped through The Matrix, go figure] but I guess it's probably the best way to show an 'unrealistic' world and stuff. I'd love to get a chance to read it. The whole "your existence is a lie" [no memes intended] angle seems cool.

---

I just remembered, I finished a more-or-less decent-sized short story during my net-less months of solitude. So, um, I'm not really one for short fiction/literature, because I like to see ideas fleshed out, but I think this one turned out mostly ok. Word puts it at 8k words [kind of short, yeah, i know] and change, and is my first real 'sort of 'romantic'' story, I guess [well, the romance elements were kind of central to the narrative anyways].

So, uh... If any of you guys want to take a couple moments to read it and maybe give me feedback, just pm me or something; I think the online storage site I uploaded it up to has a download thingy, so I can just give out links or something [I am not sure how attachments work here, lolz]. Also, uh, if anyone wants to read the first draft of my 'novel', and maybe give me feedback [translation: kill off some precious brain cells], please do tell me, coz I think I'll get to that 2nd draft reboot some time soon and any feedback I get will be most helpful.
 
O Great Leader, hast thou received thine link?

LOL, wahahaha! Man, I swear I'll master how to write/speak like that. Sheakespeare would be a start, I think...

Not to appear impatient or anything, just that the link only lasts a couple days or so.
 
O Great Leader, hast thou received thine link?

LOL, wahahaha! Man, I swear I'll master how to write/speak like that. Sheakespeare would be a start, I think...

Not to appear impatient or anything, just that the link only lasts a couple days or so.
Yeah, I got them. I'm going over the short with a fine toothed comb at the moment. Do you mind if I proof read it as well?
 
Yep, that'd be cool. Thanks. [starts to proofread it himself out of anxiety]

EDIT: Actually found one... Oh, the shame...
 
Yep, that'd be cool. Thanks. [starts to proofread it himself out of anxiety]

EDIT: Actually found one... Oh, the shame...
Wow, I really liked that short. It actually managed to make me cry when the funeral came up, and that's something I've yet to do. Props. If you want me to send you the link to my story I can. :D

Now to start on Corax. I'm hyped after reading that short. :D
 
Wow, I really liked that short. It actually managed to make me cry when the funeral came up, and that's something I've yet to do. Props. If you want me to send you the link to my story I can. :D

Now to start on Corax. I'm hyped after reading that short. :D

Um... Thanks.

Yeah, I'd love that link. Just, uh... send it within a day and a half or so, since my net time's limited.

PS Well, I hope you don't get too disappointed with Ccorax. I consider the latter half to be better, but still with the awful pacing and formatting [which is why I'm rewriting it]. Urgh.

Again, thanks.
 
Well, no internet for a day or so [prob more]. So, uh, if anyone [for whatever reason] still wants those links, just ask Sterling for them [they're active until the 17th, though I'm not sure if that's on GMT or GMT+ 8 or whatever].

I'll be back [and hopefully, with a few updates on my hiatus'd writing.

Cheers, guys!
 
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Here's a poem I wrote during Science? (or maybe Math) class. Probably the darkest thing I've ever written.

WOMAN ON CRACK

Woman on crack
Sleeps in a sack
Pipe on her feet
Son on the street
Fucked by the crack
Raped in the back
Face gotten beat
Died on the street
 
20th here... So, if I get to post again here at this time tomorrow, the world's still ticking.

Anyways...

@KingdomBlade - Um... I don't even know what to say. So I won't say anything...

[wow, that was constructive]

So, my writing's going... slowly. But, since I've decided to just edit draft 2 than rewrite it, the only [ever-so-slightly-problematic] thing is figuring out how to fit the edits in. Also, I'm planning to write another short story or two [a sequel to 'eventuality' would be one, I guess]. I hope my short-fiction allergy doesn't start up, wahahaha.

PS

Sterling's posted his story here... Hm... Cool! GL HF on that.
 
@Kingdom Blade: BTW, I liked your poem. It's dark and a good change of pace from the usual stuff I read. Now writing chapter 12, and I'm going to edit my other chapters a bit. :D
 
Hey, guys. So it seems the Mayans were either wrong, presumptuous or misinterpreted. That's cool, because it's usually us [particularly this generation] who are either wrong, presumptuous or misinterpreted. Let someone else take the blame, huh? :mthr:

So, anyway, since all I really got out of the holidays is the flu [I think I got one too this time last year... urgh]... I'm bored [big surprise there].

Stuff below about a story idea I just had...


To that end, I've kind of started up a fantasy novel. I did mention being intrigued by the genre and wanting to give it a good old try, so I did. Basically, I want to write a story that is all magic [i.e. no weapons, dragons, elves, dwarves or any other fantasy staple other than magic... and a friggin' big kingdom, because it's cooler like that]. Furthermore, I had this idea that "traditional" magic [i.e. waving a stick/wand/wiggling your fingers and saying magicky words] is kind of worn out, and I'd rather make magic more of a skill or technique with particular advantages and drawbacks and such, as well as allowing certain [powerful] characters the ability/audacity to "invent" better techniques within their particular specialties [or schools of magic].

Think about it this way... In most fantasy stories, knights [warriors, swordsmen, whatever the heck they're called] are trained for combat. So, the same way a knight is taught how to swing a sword without leaving himself too open, or how to parry or use their shield for anything other than defense as well as finding the weak spots in the enemy's armor, the characters also learn magic this way. Also, the same way most characters are right-handed and as such, cannot wield a weapon properly with their left hand, magic is also limited or enhanced by what a particular character is/isn't capable of.

So basically, within the story, every character is capable of magic. Some of them are just better versed at it, either naturally or through training. This does mean [naturally] that certain laws are enforced by the kingdom, specifically by the 'high mages/sages' [the working term is 'magiciar'] who control what is basically the kingdom's magical armies. That means [again, naturally] that breaking these laws [especially the really grave ones] gets you a magic-laden death sentence.

The focus of the story is how these laws get twisted around, especially considering the three forbidden schools of magic [namely blood magic, soul magic and shadow magic]. The working title [black, grey, crimson] is a slight allusion to that.

So, yeah, that's that. Any and all feedback would be cool. Also, since the prologue is finished [I have a weakness for those, especially in early drafts], I will prob post it here sometime later. I think [for a change] it's Temp-friendly enough [the body count is only a couple dream sheep and an old man... oh and a bloodmage who got impaled one time too many, but is still alive(there is a reason the school of magic is known as "blood" magic)]

As always, how're y'all? Holidays treat you well? [anyone who had a worse holiday than I must be really down on their luck]


PS

@Sterling - I see you have a ff.net page/profile. Actually, I do too, though it's mostly to get alerts, although I am toying around with the idea of starting a story. If I do go on with it, I'll prob file it under 'fun' writing [which IS kind of the point, wahahaha].

Also, if it's alright with you, could I ask you for feedback on my draft, especially with my 'perceived' problems with it [I do know that what a writer thinks is a problem is different from what a reader thinks is a problem]? I don't really have anyone else to ask, wahahahahahaha. I'll just PM you or something if you're fine with it.

One last thing... did chapter 12 get preempted by the holidays? Or did I just miss it?
 
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Sure, send it my way and I'll hand you some feedback after a spot of sleep (my naps tend to turn into sleep deprived comas so yeah). Also, Chapter 12 should be up. Maybe I haven't updated my pastebin, but I really haven't been writing much. I got the flu, then I got a cold, and hopefully this shit doesn't turn into pneumonia or strep, that'll really piss me off. :/

Also, I like the idea. You should go read or watch Fairy Tale for a few ideas on what you should and shouldn't do.
 
Here's the 5-part prologue. Slightly edited, but it's basically the same from when I first wrote it. The only thing I regret is not being able to insert a "silence of the lambs" joke in the dream sequence.

Chapter 0.1 [Prologue]

“Aooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu!” the wolf howls. He sees its eyes shining somewhere just ahead of them. Around him, the sheep start to bleat. They knew what that howl meant.
The eyes vanished, and he looked around, nervous; the leader had slinked off, he knew, to a more opportune position. Just then, the wind blew across them, and the sheep‘s bleating worsened. The wind had carried the scent of another wolf, hidden, waiting. He could not smell it, but the sheep could, and they were starting to fray at the edges; already, some outcasts - generally the weaker - were being pushed away by the majority.
The attack was sudden. A pair of wolves ran right at them and split up, circling the group. The stragglers who had been pushed out turned and ran… right into waiting ambushes. He watched, hapless, as one of them was torn limb from limb by three wolves. Meanwhile, the two wolves continued to circle the group, darting in every now and then to take a swipe at the terrified sheep at the outside of the group.
As one of the circling wolves dove in, the sheep shrank away; one of them, already bloody after having taken some earlier attacks from the wolves’ sharp claws, lagged behind slightly. The wolf that was darting in snatched at the sheep’s leg, bringing it down right by the others, and gave a short bark; the other circling wolf bound to his side at once, and the two started to gut the stricken animal.
A trio of sheep at the opposite side took the opportunity as the wolves were preoccupied and shot off into the opposite direction. For a moment, it seemed as though all three, or even just some of them might be able to get away, but out from the shadows, a large grey blur shot out at them. It collided with the sheep in the middle, knocking the sheep sideways. The one just behind flinched back on instinct, allowing the other wolves that had been pursuing them a precious second to further catch up.
With two would-be escapees down and soon surrounded, the sheep that had been ahead bounded off. They grey wolf - the pack leader, he had no doubt - chased it down, its grey fur shining as it bristled in the pale starlight. The wolf zigged and zagged, and skipped across jutting rocks, howling all the while.
The escaped, panic-stricken sheep was losing speed, as fatigue and stress dragged it down. The wolf, seeing its opportunity, hopped up on a rocky outcropping and leapt at it. Glinting teeth and claws and grey fur collided with white wool, and not a second later, a blood-chilling mixture of the wolf’s triumphant howl and the sheep’s distressed bleating rend through the night air.
The large grey wolf dragged the continually-bleating sheep back toward the rest of the pack; two wolves went out to meet it, and the grey wolf left the job of dragging the still-living sheep back to them as it strode back toward the rest of the pack.
By then, all the others - eight, not counting the two that were busy dragging the sheep back and the leader - had surrounded the group. The leader stopped a few feet short of the group and started to sniff at the air, as though savoring the scent of fear. He knew the pack had enough to feed on; they weren’t hunting any more, now they were just killing.
The two wolves had finished dragging the sheep back - by then, its cries were weak and strangled - and took their positions in the circled that surrounded the group. The leader, snout still dripping red with blood, gave one short, final howl, and as one, the pack pounced.
It was hell. Some of the sheep raced out, getting lucky. He thought some of them would get away alive, but soon would be lost, alone; easy prey for other wolves and predators that stalked the night. More were mortally wounded or killed at once. Some unlucky sheep were squashed and trampled in the confusion.
As the slaughter happened around him, he found himself strangely calm. The pack leader - whose fur was now matted crimson - looked at him, its shining green eyes seeming to size him up.

Chapter 0.2 [Prologue]

“Wake up!” the voice echoed around the stone chamber. Allius opened his eyes, his dreams - blood, carnage, howls - fading as he looked up at his ‘visitor’. The man - and they always were men - wore a thin, bronze chain tight around his neck, looking down at him with an odd expression of fear. The man held a torch high above his head, the green flames casting its bright light around the small chamber; the shadows it made were red, and thus were of no use to Allius.
“Is it today?” he asked the man. It was odd, he thought; surely they’d never let him out into the sunlight? Furthermore, he was being fetched by a ‘bronze chain’, all alone, whereas there were usually two ‘silver chains’. Something had happened.
“Get up, the grand sage wants you,” the bronze chain said. Allius struggled to his feet, burdened by the all-too-short chains that bound his wrists and ankles. He blinked at the brightness of the flame; the stone chamber was underground, and permitted no light at all to enter once the door was shut, and he had been in total darkness going two months now. The great sage had sent him there, awaiting execution.
“What’s going on?” Allius asked the bronze chain, who was walking behind him - telling him which direction to go when needed - as they made their way up. The bronze chain said nothing.
Soon, both of them were above ground, Curtains covered the windows, though stray shafts of light still found their way in; whenever one of them would hit Allius, he could feel a little of his strength coming back. Again he wondered, where was he set to meet the grand sage, and more importantly, why?
“Turn right and head out through that door,” the bronze chain ordered him. Allius did, and no more than four steps later, noticed that there weren’t any footfalls behind him any longer. He went on, alone, anyway.


Chapter 0.3 [Prologue]

Allius extended his hands out ahead of him, feeling the smooth wood against his palms for a moment before he pushed the door open. Sunlight, bright, blinding sunlight bathed him as soon as the door swung open. A glance over his shoulder showed him the comforting sight of his shadow, a stark black silhouette against the white marble floor. His strength flooded back in a hurry, and with more conviction, he stepped out.
There were two men in the courtyard. One wore flowing white robes, a thin, golden chain with a diamond dangling from it taut around his neck. The other wore robes of crimson, a ruby dangling from his golden chain.
“Allius Schwartz,” the man in the crimson robes whispered.
“Yes.”
The man in crimson robes looked at the much older man in white, whose face had gone as white as his robes at the sight of Allius. “You…” the man in white robes whispered.
Allius looked at the man who had sentenced him. Without a word, he extended his arms out ahead of him. The shadow of the chain that shackled his hands together stood out on the ground before him. It wavered and snapped, the shadow separating into two; above it, the real chains snapped much like the shadow had. Lower down, the same thing happened to the chain that kept his feet shackled.
“This was a mistake,” the man in white robes said. “Call the gold chains at once,” he urged the crimson-robed man beside him.
“We’re just letting him out for a little sunlight,” the man in the crimson robes replied. He turned to Allius. “So, this is the much-vaunted ‘shadow binder’…” Allius saw that the man’s eyes were the same unsettling green as the wolf in his dream.
“Why am I here?” Allius asked, directing the question at the one in the crimson robes. He stepped further out into the sunlight, feeling his shadow - and himself - strengthening.
“His royal highness’ orders,” the man in the crimson robes answered. “He has… recently had a change of mind regarding… certain policies.”
At those words, the man in the white robes flinched, eyeing his crimson-clad companion wearily. “The king owes you his life, Sirvu, but you do not understand what you are about to unleash,” he said.
“On the contrary, I understand entirely what I’m doing, Keisen,” Sirvu said. He brought his hand up to his mouth and bit into the ball of his thumb with a pair of inhumanly sharp incisors. He dabbed the swelling droplet of blood onto his other fingers.
Allius’ eyes widened with realization. Sirvu, without doubt, was a blood mage. Behind him, his shadow started to billow, and it crept up from to ground to surround him, taking the form of a long, hooded robe. The protection it would provide was meager, but was better than nothing, considering how weak he was at the moment.
Keisen, on the other hand, seemed less perturbed by Sirvu. When he saw Allius gearing for battle, he thrust his arms out to the side, his face set. The diamond dangling from the golden chain around his neck shone out with a bright, blinding light.
Allious shielded his eyes from the light. His shadow robe started to melt away, helpless against the enchanted light that cast no shadow of its own. It had been the same light that had led to his capture, months ago. He could feel his strength start to ebb away, as his shadows were denied to him. At the edge of his vision, Sirvu started to move.


Chapter 0.4 [Prologue]

Allius inched back, too weak to fight, and outnumbered in the bargain. Soon, he would be completely defenseless, unable to turn to the other side for help in his condition, and by the looks of it, about to die at the hands of a blood mage.
Just as suddenly as the light started, it shut off. As his robe struggled to reform, Allius’ vision readjusted. Keisen was standing there, his arms hanging limply at his sides; the old man was dead.
“I must congratulate you, shadow binder… you’ve just killed the grand sage,” remarked Sirvu. Before him, the lifeless body fell down. There were five fading red spots on the back of the dead grand sage’s robe.
“You… you killed him,” Allius said. “Your plan is to pin this on me.”
Sirvu smiled. “As a grand mage, I am duty-bound to, ah, bring you to justice. Allow me to thank you for your cooperation.”
Allius skipped back as Sirvu lunged at him, bloody fingertips extended. He knew what would become of him if the blood mage so much as laid a finger on him. Sirvu pressed on, well-aware of his advantage. Allius stumbled away from another attack, but his legs, unused to so much movement after getting atrophied for months, chose that same moment to seize up. He managed to stay on his feet, but could move no more; even his upper body was locked as moving then would only upset his barely-there balance.
“Got you,” Sirvu said, mocking. His hand thrust at at Allius’ chest. His fingertips made contact with the shadowy folds of the conjured robe… and stopped there, as though hitting a barrier. “What..?”
“Shadows don’t bleed,” Allius informed the blood mage.
Sirvu drew his hand back, but he was too late; Allius had seen his opening. The rest of the shadow robe reformed, jutting out as spikes, impaling the blood mage multiple times.
“Sound the alarm!” a voice behind Allius shouted. As ordered, the alarm rang out not a moment later, and he knew that the gold chains would be on their way.
“You just dug yourself in deeper, shadow binder,” Sirvu said, smiling. He seemed totally unperturbed by the fact that he was basically stuck where he stood, skewered more times than he could count. “Do you think they’ll believe anything you tell them?”
Allius knew he’d been had. Whether he survived Sirvu’s attack or not was immaterial; either way, he looked the guilty party here. He didn’t have the time or the strength to ward off both this deranged blood mage and the gold chains.
“Damn you,” Allius said. He retracted the spikes and turned to run as Sirvu slumped down to the ground.


Chapter 0.5 [Prologue]

“Did you hear? The king’s ailment was treated recently.”
“They say a blood mage did it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I heard, too. Talk is, the king redacted the ban on blood magic and made him a great mage in thanks.”
“Well, some people are still apprehensive on allowing the practice of blood magic.”
“Who can blame them?”
“Hey! Stop talking like that! That’s treason, and you know it.”
“Well, this is the first time we’ve ever had more than one magiciar.”
“Actually, my sister was seeing one of the silver chains and talk is great sage Keisen is dead, while great mage Sirvu was wounded when a fugitive escaped.”
“What a load of rubbish! Looks like that silver chain’s yanking your sister’s chain!” People laughed, and the voice continued. “Anyway, what fugitive can take down both of them?”
“That boy, remember him; the shadow binder?”
There were gasps. “That can’t be true. Didn’t great sage Keisen sentence him to be executed? How did he escape, and why weren’t we warned?”
“Well, some details are unclear, but have you noticed more and more gold chains are out patrolling the streets? I tell you, he’s escaped and they’re trying to catch him.”
“Scary isn’t it?”
“Yeah... Let me tell you, I was there when they caught that shadow binder, and he took down a dozen gold chains like it was nothing.
“Twelve gold chains in one go? Whoa, I guess there’s a reason shadow magic is forbidden. You don’t think he’s still around, do you?”
“No, I don’t think so. He must be hurting real bad, and this time, fire mages are specifically hunting him down.”
“Ah, yes, I’d heard that the simplest way to counter shadow magic is to use flame magic. That’s a smart move.”
“Yes, Sirvu was the one who suggested it, even though he’s supposedly hurt bad.”
“Well, I hope they catch him and make him pay for what he did to the grand sage.”
“Oh, they will. Especially when the grand mage gets back; I heard he wasn’t happy that the gold chains even let the shadow binder escape in the first place.”

The townspeople continued on in the same vein for the next few minutes, but Allius had heard as much as he needed to hear. He had to get out of here. Being free - albeit a hunted fugitive - allowed him time to rest and recuperate his strength, but even then, his magic was currently nowhere near as powerful as it had been before he was captured and locked in perpetual darkness for months, sapping his powers away in the process.
He had to get out, and soon. If fire mages really were hunting him - and knowing what he did of Sirvu, they probably were - he could not be found, though normally they would have been nothing more than a nuisance.
Get out, recuperate, find out what he can of Sirvu, and come back to finish off the bloody bastard. That was the plan.

So... notes

- The difference bet. mage and sage is basically age and experience [a sage is older and more experienced at magic]
- A 'binder' is the term for someone who has more or less mastered their school of magic, implying that he [more on this later] is bound to the magic.
- Technically, there is nothing wrong with the three forbidden schools of magic; they just have an overwhelming negative connotation.
- Only males are allowed to practice magic, although females are capable of magic too. Allius notes that 'they' are always males.
- In case anyone is wondering how Sirvu's plan worked without raising any eyebrows, it goes like this. Blood magic works only on 'things that bleed/bled'. Keisen's robes are wool, which offers little resistance, making an easy kill. Sirvu's good enough [basically, he's a blood binder] not to leave any traces. It kind of corresponds to the dream sequence at the beginning. Of course, part of its success is how ignorantly terrified people are of the forbidden magics[some people don't even trust him], which is how he can just point the blame at Allius.
- Part of the interplay here is how little each mage knows about the other mage's magic; Allius basically got lucky, while Sirvu obviously did not know how shadow magic works and interacts with blood magic.
- I just made up these names, but in particular, Sirvu is anagram for 'virus', and Allius' last name, Schwartz, is based on schwarz, German for 'black'.
- No, I haven't decided what Keisen's magic specialty is. He does know enough high-level magic to catch Allius, though. Too bad he didn't have a 'grow an eye at the back of your head' magic.
- So far, the references for Allius' shadow magic are Yu Yu Hakusho [there's a guy there who can stop you by stepping on your shadow; he once wrote a name using just his shadow, too], Fullmetal Alchemist [Pride, obviously; Allius' weakness when there is no light is based off of his weakness], Naruto [Shikamaru in particular] and One Piece [Gecko Moria; the chain-breaking is based on the 'what happens to the shadow happens to the body' mechanic]. I'm still researching and thinking up how/where to take it, really. Suggestions are welcome.
- As referenced by the title, only black shadows are usable for shadow magic. Pretty sure blood mages don't give a crap about things that have blood that isn't red.
- Allius' reference to 'the other side' is about the 'shadow plane', where the strongest shadow magics are. There's also a 'soul plane', but no 'blood plane' [well, you can make a case that the 'mortal plane' is one big 'blood plane']
- I'm pretty sure I know a character whose cloak/robes is made of shadows, but I've forgotten... Hm...
- Allius was given the death sentence pretty much for practicing shadow magic. The execution was delayed because the king got ill and the grand sage had to find a way to heal him [which is how Sirvu got into their good side].
- In-universe, there is exactly one shadow binder, one blood binder and one soul binder. Basically, only really good mages/sages get to that level of forbidden magic without proper training [and without getting caught... where Allius slipped up]. All of them are 'chaotic neutral' in alignment, more or less.

Um, that's a lot of notes. Tell me what you guys think. Thanks, and cheers!

@Sterling

Yeah, I know what you mean about sleep. I'm basically stuck with a choice of blink or hibernate. I'll get to that PM soon.


PS

Hopefully the formatting's ok...
 
So, um... Seeing as it's been nearly a week since my last post, hopefully the mods will excuse me for double-posting, seeing as nobody's posted in between, hehehe.

So, uh, finished chapter 1 of B,G,C. It's still divided into 5 parts, but two of those are further divided into three parts [where the second is a flashback, featuring Allius' gramps and a spot of magical trapping]. Also, more action in this chapter, featuring a shadow binder against gold chain-level fire, water and blood mages, a freaking wide river, a long wooden bridge and sunlight that doesn't seem to want to cooperate [with Allius, anyway, in case you were cheering for the 'bad' guys]. I'll unfocus, refocus, edit, then prob post it here later on, hehehehe.

Anyway... how is everyone else? Been reading a lot of stuff mostly [a lot of fanfic, yes; it's fascinating how people can relate comic book characters using just words]. Happy 2013, to everyone, btw...
 
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