I read this earlier on another site. And I gotta say...I love it. No...More than that. I absolutely freaking LOVE it!!!
I mean...there's comedy gold just writing itself on this:
pirate: guys: I'm having problems. My sales are going down because of piracy!
forum member: yeah...well...I know what you mean. Piracy is a bitch, isn't it?
pirate: you're telling me! Rotten a**holes. This way, there's just no way to keep up quality or even keep my team together.
forum member: okay...here's the solution: you've got to lead by example on this. If you don't pirate, neither will the peeps in the game.
pirate: huh? C'mon...be a bit less cryptic, okay? If things keep going this way, I'll be producing shovelware in no time.
forum member: I'm saying that you shouldn't pirate. That's what's causing it.
pirate: but I'm not pirating! It took the whole earnings of my last game to pay for the UnrealEd and train my programmers to use it, but I never broke any laws. In fact, I didn't even knew you COULD pirate that.
forum member: I'm not talking about in-game piracy.
pirate: is there any other kind? I've tried inventing some very obstrusive DRM that made users use serial numbers, that only worked on a fraction of the DVD-drives AND that required constant internet connection. Took me quite a bit of research, but aside from lowering the popularity of my company and slightly less sales (which caused me to have to bribe more gaming magazines), it didn't stop piracy.
forum member: that's because you're using a cracked version of the game.
pirate: what does that have to do with anything? I'm glad I haven't bought this game...you can't win with it. Piracy is way too much of an issue!
forum member: if you had bought the game, it wouldn't be an issue.
pirate: why should I buy games? I'm not stealing anything. Besides...there wasn't a demo available, so I HAD to!
forum member: just out of curiosity...did you make a demo in that game as well?
pirate: naah...it took too much work. But that's ingame. This is the real thing!