Gaming DLC contest !

[loco365]

This was more embarrasing for my girlfriend i believe

Spoiler

ps , i wrote a blog about this as well.

So, long story short i was at my girl's nightstay at her house and her parents were out of town for two days. All of her friends were sleeping over and i was the only guy over there.
After we saw a really scary as shit movie i went to bed and she came under my blankie trying to snuggle. (All of her friends were secretly watching and waiting for the action to start , I asked her to just let me sleep and go away( i was really tired), and i could almost see all of her friends facepalming and giggling ...... so yeah this is my girlfriends MOST embarrasing moment as of yet.

EDIT: Can i make a story up for those codes?
.
K nvm , here is my made up most embarrassing moment ever. its a bit long but i assure you its worth it.

Spoiler

So i was at my house all alone.I started getting horny . So i booted up my laptop and clicked my 3rd bookmark.
Well, when i found a nice Pron video and i started wanking off, but as soon as i pulled my shorts down i realised my dick somehow turned green?
But i was so horny i started wanking anyway. When i was just about to... you know..... the door opened and in came my housemaid.
My you know....'stuff' hit her right in the eye and she didnt even see what hit her. She fell down on her back completely blinded by, you know,...... my stuff
and that gave me enough time to pull my shorts up.She got up and asked me what the hell just happened and i told her "it must be the monkey people "
She went like " oh ok ok....... i love you btw". So i said "are you crazy? when did you started loving me!@?". She pulled out a gun and aimed right at my head.
She asked my to quickly give her all of the money in the house or she'll shoot. I said " f**k off you housemaid". She pulled the trigger and i ducked
just at the right time. The bullet hit a vase and i tried diving to prevent it from breaking( it was really important.... i guess?) when i tried to catch it before it dropped
my shorts fell down as they were pretty lose.Just about then my girlfriend entered through the front door and saw my green dick........
MOST EMBARRASSING MADE UP MOMENT EVER!@

You must have been as high as hell.

 

[beta4attack]

Well, here is something a bit embarassing. It isn't really embarassing but it's only thing I remember atm XD

Spoiler

Short story: I was the only one who wasn't absent in my math class the other day. So, the teacher gave me the day before a chocolate bonbon. The day after it she told me to have something so I insisted not to as she gave me the day before and when I looked it turned out to be a piece of paper that she wanted me to throw. That was kinda embarrassing

I also remember going to the bathroom in my school but I didn't lock the door because the lock needs to be changed because it gets stuck. Then a boy in my age from another class was running from someone and to hide he entered the bathroom and because I was soooo lucky he accidentally entered the part I was in. And I was even luckier so I just finished then stood up and then he entered..... He of course ran like the wind and I wished I would've pulled my pants faster XD

 

[Janthran]

One time
My friend was reaaally ugly
and everyone died
the end

I think it goes:

"It's called the ugly barnacle; Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was SOO ugly, that everyone died. The end

I had to alter it.
Pray I do not alter it further.

 

[Sychophantom]

One time
My friend was reaaally ugly
and everyone died
the end

I think it goes:

"It's called the ugly barnacle; Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was SOO ugly, that everyone died. The end

I had to alter it.
Pray I do not alter it further.

Make him ride a unicycle.

 

[Janthran]

One time
My friend was reaaally ugly
and everyone died
the end

I think it goes:

"It's called the ugly barnacle; Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was SOO ugly, that everyone died. The end

I had to alter it.
Pray I do not alter it further.

Make him ride a unicycle.

Who? What?

 

[Sychophantom]

One time
My friend was reaaally ugly
and everyone died
the end

I think it goes:

"It's called the ugly barnacle; Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was SOO ugly, that everyone died. The end

I had to alter it.
Pray I do not alter it further.

Make him ride a unicycle.

Who? What?

Sorry, Robot Chicken reference.

 

[Thesolcity]

One time in elementary school, I had quite an upset stomach. You see, school lunches were *ahem* under par so to speak, but this lunch was especially horrible. Anyway to the point, in class we were told to sit in a group and do word blending. All was going fine until the hades of all farts escaped from my bumhole. Loud. Really loud. To make matters worse, it was amplified due to the acoustics of this portable classroom. Everyone's face looked of horror, even the teacher. But it wasn't done yet. As soon as the smell registered across everyone's noses you could almost see their singed eyebrows. "ITS THESOLCITY! HE FARTED!" one of my classmates managed to yell. That was it, it was over. Kids yelling, running away. It would have been more peaceful had I lit a nuke. Then the teacher came about after a while trying to do damage control with what I swear was a bottle of Glade air freshener. "Its ok kids, just a fart." Not even that could cover up the smell. 30 minutes and 8 open windows later, the smell subsides and class resumes. Guess what? Its time for partner projects. Guess who didn't have a partner the rest of the year? Yea, that's right.

 

[servant]

hmm OK I'm game. I've got a few and they range from mildly embarrassing to emotionally scarring. I'll start off with the embarrassing stuff.

Part 1: mostly toilet humor

Spoiler

OK I might as well start with the one where I'm in fourth grade and desperately need to shit. The week before the event happened my mom had thought it would be a good idea to give me some kind of laxative for no reason. Literally for no reason, like I had never had problems taking a dump, but she kinda lacked a deep understanding of what medicine was for (she thought if it was meant to be good for you, you should be able to take it whenever). Funny thing was the laxative was way past its expiration date, and I'm talking almost a year's worth of rot. Well I can tell you the estimated time the bottle said wasn't gonna be even close to realistic. The bottle said within the next few minutes and nothing happened for the next few minutes, hours, and days. So about a week later I'm sitting in class and all of the sudden it felt like god had sent his mighty wrath upon my ass. It was like the perfect storm had formed in my bowels, it was tearing the away at my soul and all I could think was to pray to whatever could save my ass from what was to happen. I was sitting in class practically begging my teacher to let me use the bathroom and she constantly turned me down. I could tell I wouldn't last longer so I continued to harass in hopes she would give up. After what seemed like an eternity she caved in and gave in to my request but by that time I had lost most of my desire to live. At that moment I felt it, the feeling of a monster trying to escape me.. eating at my inside.. tired of waiting. By the time I had escaped the classroom I had to deal with the maddening sensation of a constant drip.. drip.. drip. I felt as it attempted to leak, like it had become so impatient it turned itself into a liquid. As I burst into the bathroom I could feel the intensity rising, my eyes watered and felt as if they were going to pop from their sockets; all I could think was, "...pleasee let me make it there...I'm so close...just need to open.."

and as I opened the stall door and dropped my pants I felt the surge of massive power rage to my ass that I can only think of one possible thing to compare to its danger, The Neo Armstrong Jet Cyclone Canon. I failed to control the week-old beast, it had splattered all along the walls, the toilet, and myself. Completely exhausted my humiliation would not end there, oh no it could never be so easy for me.

As I sat in the stall I came to realize that the restroom was currently under construction and none of the stall were working, neither were any of the sinks. I was trapped, in what felt worse than hell, with no escape. I quickly panicked and reached for the toilet paper in hopes of the chance I could simply clean it all up. But to my dread, the kami gods had sent their message, I was to not be given tenderness. I failed to realize because the bathroom was currently under renovation that it wasn't entirely necessary for the cleaning ladies to replace or clean the bathroom and so I was left to drown in my own feces and fear.

With no way to clear my way out I had decided to abandon this catastrophe for the next person to walk in. But as fate would have it I couldn't escape so easily. The wild Tempest had left no stone unturned, it had had its way with my underwear and leaked into some sections of my pants. Desperate I decided to use what dry parts remained of my underpants and wiped clean what little wreckage the storm had caused my pants. I quickly hid the stained underwear in the rear section of the toilet. (we didn't have automatic toilets at the time, they weren't put into place until after the event) The situation only worsened at that point as one of my classmates entered the bathroom searching for me, he had never liked me and was doing this as a request from my teacher. They popped their head in to tell me my teacher had lost their patients with the time I was taking. There was no escaping any longer; he had noticed, I could tell. My escape plan of running back home had failed, my only option was to return to class in hopes of getting a parent to come release me from my shame. The problem was my pants still smelled faintly of my manure. I had no choice but to face what was going to happen; I would walk into class and approach my teacher in front of my classmates and openly beg for a phone call home then likely be sent to the front office to sit in my shame for what would seem like hours.
The policy of no tenderness continued;I walked into class and there I asked for the ability to return home. My mother had apparently decided she was to busy doing her usual rituals (she never made much sense, as she was deep into her weird religious sometimes occult activities; weird daily behaviors might have been due to her obsession with television, she often acted like the odd characters of the shows she watched) A blunt no left me in school, I sat down in my seat watching as my neighbor turned in disgust. The one thing that went well that day was the fact there was less than an hour remaining of school and I could return home and cry in my shame. Before I even had the chance to take in the day the student that had come to check on me from the stall returned bursting into the class with the news he had found so unbearably funny, he had seen what I had done. The day would have been fine but I had been caught and publicly humiliated; my teacher forced me to go to the principal's office because apparently the kid who saw me also reported the mess I had made to the janitors. The janitors obviously didn't like the idea of cleaning some kids shit off the floor and toilet that was incapable of flushing and had reported me to the principal. With this growing humiliation, my principal called my mother and told her what had occurred. Nothing came of the call that could be my frustrated escape but more shame. She turned me down yet again, still unreliable. And so I was left to deal with the constant taunting of kids while I sat on a bus smelling of rotted human waste on a hot spring day.

I've got more if that didn't entertain you or if it did but they get further from toilet humor. Also if I win I'd like anything but Pushmo (please can I have Metal torrent ヽ(ｏ`▽′ｏ)ﾉ)

 

[Sychophantom]

One time in elementary school, I had quite an upset stomach. You see, school lunches were *ahem* under par so to speak, but this lunch was especially horrible. Anyway to the point, in class we were told to sit in a group and do word blending. All was going fine until the hades of all farts escaped from my bumhole. Loud. Really loud. To make matters worse, it was amplified due to the acoustics of this portable classroom. Everyone's face looked of horror, even the teacher. But it wasn't done yet. As soon as the smell registered across everyone's noses you could almost see their singed eyebrows. "ITS THESOLCITY! HE FARTED!" one of my classmates managed to yell. That was it, it was over. Kids yelling, running away. It would have been more peaceful had I lit a nuke. Then the teacher came about after a while trying to do damage control with what I swear was a bottle of Glade air freshener. "Its ok kids, just a fart." Not even that could cover up the smell. 30 minutes and 8 open windows later, the smell subsides and class resumes. Guess what? Its time for partner projects. Guess who didn't have a partner the rest of the year? Yea, that's right.

I don't think that would embarrass me. I'd probably be proud of a fart of that intensity, and may even threaten to do it again.

 

[servant]

Part 2: I was full o' chunks

Spoiler

This one I find funny even if it was terrible for myself. OK so I'm moving into this basement that I'm renting out after moving out from my parents. The owner's stated that they hadn't touched the previous tenants stuff since they left unannounced. Well the tenants left a while ago, almost a few years, and they left behind a fridge. I didn't ask how long ago until after unpacking entirely, which took some time. On the first couple of days I was loading my stuff in I had some help from a cousin of mine, idk he can be jerk sometimes. Well on the first day of the unloading we took a break and I was thirsty, it was hot and other than the natural cooling the basement had no A/C. With my undying thirst I looked inside the fridge without thinking and noticed some chocolate milk in the fridge. I never think things through, it's more like I do it and then learn to regret it later. So I grab the chocolate milk from the fridge, open it up and start chugging. I'll go ahead and say I'm lactose-intolerant since that probably makes it funnier, as I have no reason to be drinking this milk. Once that stomach, nose, tongue or whatever got a sense of what was going down I was blowing chunks like a real American hero. It flew everywhere, covering my stuff and causing puddles in my new basement.
My cousin apparently knew the entire time and just let me go ahead with it to see what would happen. Lucky for me the owners were to old to ever get near the basement because they had trouble getting down any steps, so with that I avoided getting kicked out or having my rent raised.

Hmm I wonder if I should mention that the milk label didn't say chocolate...it said whole milk...

 

[Thesolcity]

One time in elementary school, I had quite an upset stomach. You see, school lunches were *ahem* under par so to speak, but this lunch was especially horrible. Anyway to the point, in class we were told to sit in a group and do word blending. All was going fine until the hades of all farts escaped from my bumhole. Loud. Really loud. To make matters worse, it was amplified due to the acoustics of this portable classroom. Everyone's face looked of horror, even the teacher. But it wasn't done yet. As soon as the smell registered across everyone's noses you could almost see their singed eyebrows. "ITS THESOLCITY! HE FARTED!" one of my classmates managed to yell. That was it, it was over. Kids yelling, running away. It would have been more peaceful had I lit a nuke. Then the teacher came about after a while trying to do damage control with what I swear was a bottle of Glade air freshener. "Its ok kids, just a fart." Not even that could cover up the smell. 30 minutes and 8 open windows later, the smell subsides and class resumes. Guess what? Its time for partner projects. Guess who didn't have a partner the rest of the year? Yea, that's right.

I don't think that would embarrass me. I'd probably be proud of a fart of that intensity, and may even threaten to do it again.

I wasn't that brave as a first grader. ._.

 

[awssk8er]

Conversation between a co-worker and myself. Some random fat skanky girl walked passed and only heard the bold part:

Co-worker: (Telling a story how he did some random girl on a cruise)
Me: "Yeah, I don't really roll like that. I'm not like "See that girl over there. I totally want to bang her."
Of course I happen to turn in her direction when I said that part, and I got the weirdest looks. I ended up just walking away and laughing until she left.

Then my co-worker said when I left she came up and said something about me to him, but it turns out he was just fucking around. Lmfao.

Definitely not the most embarrassing, but best story I can think of right now.

 

[Dash_2]

This was more embarrasing for my girlfriend i believe

Spoiler

ps , i wrote a blog about this as well.

So, long story short i was at my girl's nightstay at her house and her parents were out of town for two days. All of her friends were sleeping over and i was the only guy over there.
After we saw a really scary as shit movie i went to bed and she came under my blankie trying to snuggle. (All of her friends were secretly watching and waiting for the action to start , I asked her to just let me sleep and go away( i was really tired), and i could almost see all of her friends facepalming and giggling ...... so yeah this is my girlfriends MOST embarrasing moment as of yet.

EDIT: Can i make a story up for those codes?
.
K nvm , here is my made up most embarrassing moment ever. its a bit long but i assure you its worth it.

Spoiler

So i was at my house all alone.I started getting horny . So i booted up my laptop and clicked my 3rd bookmark.
Well, when i found a nice Pron video and i started wanking off, but as soon as i pulled my shorts down i realised my dick somehow turned green?
But i was so horny i started wanking anyway. When i was just about to... you know..... the door opened and in came my housemaid.
My you know....'stuff' hit her right in the eye and she didnt even see what hit her. She fell down on her back completely blinded by, you know,...... my stuff
and that gave me enough time to pull my shorts up.She got up and asked me what the hell just happened and i told her "it must be the monkey people "
She went like " oh ok ok....... i love you btw". So i said "are you crazy? when did you started loving me!@?". She pulled out a gun and aimed right at my head.
She asked my to quickly give her all of the money in the house or she'll shoot. I said " f**k off you housemaid". She pulled the trigger and i ducked
just at the right time. The bullet hit a vase and i tried diving to prevent it from breaking( it was really important.... i guess?) when i tried to catch it before it dropped
my shorts fell down as they were pretty lose.Just about then my girlfriend entered through the front door and saw my green dick........
MOST EMBARRASSING MADE UP MOMENT EVER!@

idk man thats crazy for the second story and the first one you should have manned up and given her the d thats what they wanted i mean you could have turned that into every man's fantasy but you walked away from the glory that makes me very sad

 

[saberjoy]

This was more embarrasing for my girlfriend i believe

Spoiler

ps , i wrote a blog about this as well.

So, long story short i was at my girl's nightstay at her house and her parents were out of town for two days. All of her friends were sleeping over and i was the only guy over there.
After we saw a really scary as shit movie i went to bed and she came under my blankie trying to snuggle. (All of her friends were secretly watching and waiting for the action to start , I asked her to just let me sleep and go away( i was really tired), and i could almost see all of her friends facepalming and giggling ...... so yeah this is my girlfriends MOST embarrasing moment as of yet.

EDIT: Can i make a story up for those codes?
.
K nvm , here is my made up most embarrassing moment ever. its a bit long but i assure you its worth it.

Spoiler

So i was at my house all alone.I started getting horny . So i booted up my laptop and clicked my 3rd bookmark.
Well, when i found a nice Pron video and i started wanking off, but as soon as i pulled my shorts down i realised my dick somehow turned green?
But i was so horny i started wanking anyway. When i was just about to... you know..... the door opened and in came my housemaid.
My you know....'stuff' hit her right in the eye and she didnt even see what hit her. She fell down on her back completely blinded by, you know,...... my stuff
and that gave me enough time to pull my shorts up.She got up and asked me what the hell just happened and i told her "it must be the monkey people "
She went like " oh ok ok....... i love you btw". So i said "are you crazy? when did you started loving me!@?". She pulled out a gun and aimed right at my head.
She asked my to quickly give her all of the money in the house or she'll shoot. I said " f**k off you housemaid". She pulled the trigger and i ducked
just at the right time. The bullet hit a vase and i tried diving to prevent it from breaking( it was really important.... i guess?) when i tried to catch it before it dropped
my shorts fell down as they were pretty lose.Just about then my girlfriend entered through the front door and saw my green dick........
MOST EMBARRASSING MADE UP MOMENT EVER!@

did she really do that, the maid?
how did you get the gun away from her?
story feels like bs

What the hell dude? didnt i say that story was made up?? sheesh. self procalimed critics everywhere.

---

 

[Sychophantom]

This morning at work one of my clients decided to strip naked and run through the parking lot of his day program.

I wasn't embarrassed, but the nun he knocked over was. At least he offered to help her up after.



I wish I could have made that up, but as is usually the case with my clients, truth is stranger than fiction. (In case it needs said again, I work in a group home for the mentally retarded.)

 

[jrk190]

Well, I wish people would decide which gender they are *shudders*

 

[mysticwaterfall]

English class in middle school. It was a free study day and I was bored so I started building a tower out of books. One of the girls in the class came over to ask what I was building. I meant to say "my condo" but instead said "my condom". Didn't live that one down for a while.

Hope its not too late for the contest

 

[Codename]

hmm OK I'm game. I've got a few and they range from mildly embarrassing to emotionally scarring. I'll start off with the embarrassing stuff.

Part 1: mostly toilet humor

Spoiler

OK I might as well start with the one where I'm in fourth grade and desperately need to shit. The week before the event happened my mom had thought it would be a good idea to give me some kind of laxative for no reason. Literally for no reason, like I had never had problems taking a dump, but she kinda lacked a deep understanding of what medicine was for (she thought if it was meant to be good for you, you should be able to take it whenever). Funny thing was the laxative was way past its expiration date, and I'm talking almost a year's worth of rot. Well I can tell you the estimated time the bottle said wasn't gonna be even close to realistic. The bottle said within the next few minutes and nothing happened for the next few minutes, hours, and days. So about a week later I'm sitting in class and all of the sudden it felt like god had sent his mighty wrath upon my ass. It was like the perfect storm had formed in my bowels, it was tearing the away at my soul and all I could think was to pray to whatever could save my ass from what was to happen. I was sitting in class practically begging my teacher to let me use the bathroom and she constantly turned me down. I could tell I wouldn't last longer so I continued to harass in hopes she would give up. After what seemed like an eternity she caved in and gave in to my request but by that time I had lost most of my desire to live. At that moment I felt it, the feeling of a monster trying to escape me.. eating at my inside.. tired of waiting. By the time I had escaped the classroom I had to deal with the maddening sensation of a constant drip.. drip.. drip. I felt as it attempted to leak, like it had become so impatient it turned itself into a liquid. As I burst into the bathroom I could feel the intensity rising, my eyes watered and felt as if they were going to pop from their sockets; all I could think was, "...pleasee let me make it there...I'm so close...just need to open.."

and as I opened the stall door and dropped my pants I felt the surge of massive power rage to my ass that I can only think of one possible thing to compare to its danger, The Neo Armstrong Jet Cyclone Canon. I failed to control the week-old beast, it had splattered all along the walls, the toilet, and myself. Completely exhausted my humiliation would not end there, oh no it could never be so easy for me.

As I sat in the stall I came to realize that the restroom was currently under construction and none of the stall were working, neither were any of the sinks. I was trapped, in what felt worse than hell, with no escape. I quickly panicked and reached for the toilet paper in hopes of the chance I could simply clean it all up. But to my dread, the kami gods had sent their message, I was to not be given tenderness. I failed to realize because the bathroom was currently under renovation that it wasn't entirely necessary for the cleaning ladies to replace or clean the bathroom and so I was left to drown in my own feces and fear.

With no way to clear my way out I had decided to abandon this catastrophe for the next person to walk in. But as fate would have it I couldn't escape so easily. The wild Tempest had left no stone unturned, it had had its way with my underwear and leaked into some sections of my pants. Desperate I decided to use what dry parts remained of my underpants and wiped clean what little wreckage the storm had caused my pants. I quickly hid the stained underwear in the rear section of the toilet. (we didn't have automatic toilets at the time, they weren't put into place until after the event) The situation only worsened at that point as one of my classmates entered the bathroom searching for me, he had never liked me and was doing this as a request from my teacher. They popped their head in to tell me my teacher had lost their patients with the time I was taking. There was no escaping any longer; he had noticed, I could tell. My escape plan of running back home had failed, my only option was to return to class in hopes of getting a parent to come release me from my shame. The problem was my pants still smelled faintly of my manure. I had no choice but to face what was going to happen; I would walk into class and approach my teacher in front of my classmates and openly beg for a phone call home then likely be sent to the front office to sit in my shame for what would seem like hours.
The policy of no tenderness continued;I walked into class and there I asked for the ability to return home. My mother had apparently decided she was to busy doing her usual rituals (she never made much sense, as she was deep into her weird religious sometimes occult activities; weird daily behaviors might have been due to her obsession with television, she often acted like the odd characters of the shows she watched) A blunt no left me in school, I sat down in my seat watching as my neighbor turned in disgust. The one thing that went well that day was the fact there was less than an hour remaining of school and I could return home and cry in my shame. Before I even had the chance to take in the day the student that had come to check on me from the stall returned bursting into the class with the news he had found so unbearably funny, he had seen what I had done. The day would have been fine but I had been caught and publicly humiliated; my teacher forced me to go to the principal's office because apparently the kid who saw me also reported the mess I had made to the janitors. The janitors obviously didn't like the idea of cleaning some kids shit off the floor and toilet that was incapable of flushing and had reported me to the principal. With this growing humiliation, my principal called my mother and told her what had occurred. Nothing came of the call that could be my frustrated escape but more shame. She turned me down yet again, still unreliable. And so I was left to deal with the constant taunting of kids while I sat on a bus smelling of rotted human waste on a hot spring day.

I've got more if that didn't entertain you or if it did but they get further from toilet humor. Also if I win I'd like anything but Pushmo (please can I have Metal torrent ヽ(ｏ`▽′ｏ)ﾉ)

OMFG! LMFAO! Once, when I was on vacation in Jamaica, I heard what sounded like explosions coming from the bathroom stall while waiting in line. A few minutes later, an old man walked out of the stall and the whole stall was dripping with shit liquid. Nearly threw up!

 

[Codename]

Where are the winners for the contest?!?!

 

[Sychophantom]

Where are the winners for the contest?!?!

Unaware that they have won, or they haven't been picked yet. Damn that little thing called a "real life". It so gets in the way.