Bad morning post

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the highlight and most optimistic part of my day was people recommending me to be handed over to my worst enemies to tell me I don't deserve to live...yup...it's a day.
 
I came _very_ near selling my soul yesterday; I was right next to the line.

hence my "looking for songs..." topic.

K3Nv4, Dave....you all are doing far better than you think you are doing.

I really did get close to that line.
 
he offered "money, power, and women", in that order.

and he also paired that with a:

"you will never be disrespected again."

and a

"you can make them all suffer under you the same way they treated you."

and

"you know the plan; you can outmaneuver the ones in charge of the world boxing association, exit your contract with enough money to found your own engineering empire, and use your management and engineering skills to cut off their supply and legally lock them down, and annex nvidia, tesla, and spacex. the next phase will be you using that empire to buy a seat in the Roman Catholic church; from there, you shall be the exact pope I need, my rider upon the white horse; all will belong to you, and you will belong to me."

That was more than a fivepiece combo, but the devil missed a crucial detail:

I want a sinless sandwich; satan can't afford one.
 
he offered "money, power, and women", in that order.

and he also paired that with a:

"you will never be disrespected again."

and a

"you can make them all suffer under you the same way they treated you."

and

"you know the plan; you can outmaneuver the ones in charge of the world boxing association, exit your contract with enough money to found your own engineering empire, and use your management and engineering skills to cut off their supply and legally lock them down, and annex nvidia, tesla, and spacex. the next phase will be you using that empire to buy a seat in the Roman Catholic church; from there, you shall be the exact pope I need, my rider upon the white horse; all will belong to you, and you will belong to me."
Sorry but to reach that level on gbatemp your name has to be green or purple.
 
Sorry but to reach that level on gbatemp your name has to be green or purple.
I'm sure the rider on a white horse will be able to change that rule, but even so, all I want is a sinless sandwich at the moment; do you have one of those?

Oh and our family name has purple on the coat of arms.
 
I came _very_ near selling my soul yesterday; I was right next to the line.

hence my "looking for songs..." topic.

K3Nv4, Dave....you all are doing far better than you think you are doing.

I really did get close to that line.
Look, I don’t know you. But I know that fucking feeling so much. As much as I’ve personally done, as little as I get back in support when I need it the most, as much as I’ve done good in the world, it seems like I suffer more than the people who do nothing but evil and use others. People who put no effort into doing anything get all the advantages while someone like me can’t even get decent medical while my physical and mental health gets worse. Especially since most of it came from sacrificing myself to put others first. So many times I’ve thought of just saying “fuck everyone” and turn evil. Side with those evil people. I “know where all the bodies are buried”. How valuable I’ve been to the “right” kinds of people, I can be even more to the “wrong” kinds of people. Most of my thing in life is living through pure evil so I know that playbook and have instead used to to help and prep others. So imagine how much destruction can be done if I switched sides basically. Especially how calculated I am. But yet every time I want to, something stops me. Something comes along that reminds me why I do what I do. To be honest, that’s starting to not be enough either. I think about it more and more, wondering if this one moment will be the time I finally have enough. So trust me when I tell you that I get where you’re coming from. Probably more than most. And maybe just maybe, this is what you need to see. Someone that just….gets it that no one else can get themselves.
 

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