anxiety

[MohammedQ8]

Hello everyone I hope you are all ok.

I don’t know what to say or how to start but last month was the worst month in my whole life.

I am always a sad person like when I am hear music I imagine my whole life and sad moments again and again. Sometimes I imagine better version of me and sometimes I tear up.

I am very used to these emotions that I call myself master of sadness. I can handle it anytime anywhere. It like I am enjoying the sadness like I am a hero of sad play.

However last month from no where my heart rate went up, high blood pressure, fatigue, feeling cold, both heavy legs, general weakness and weird whole body sensation like I am being squeezed like a toothpaste to let my soul out.

I really thought I am going to die that day I was holding my parents hands ready to go. The sensation was very strong but it went by it self like someone stepped on me and then let go. It left me super fatigued and broken.

This feeling was happening almost everyday last month.

Fixing iron deficiency helped me little bit but I don’t trust my body anymore. My legs are still heavy and have weird feeling.

My biggest worry/shame/sadness is that I can’t get married and have children for my parents sake.
I really wont to die.

Post automatically merged: Dec 18, 2022

This was my life last month no body understand me.

 

[SylverReZ]

Hello everyone I hope you are all ok.

I don’t know what to say or how to start but last month was the worst month in my whole life.

I am always a sad person like when I am hear music I imagine my whole life and sad moments again and again. Sometimes I imagine better version of me and sometimes I tear up.

I am very used to these emotions that I call myself master of sadness. I can handle it anytime anywhere. It like I am enjoying the sadness like I am a hero of sad play.

However last month from no where my heart rate went up, high blood pressure, fatigue, feeling cold, both heavy legs, general weakness and weird whole body sensation like I am being squeezed like a toothpaste to let my soul out.

I really thought I am going to die that day I was holding my parents hands ready to go. The sensation was very strong but it went by it self like someone stepped on me and then let go. It left me super fatigued and broken.

This feeling was happening almost everyday last month.

Fixing iron deficiency helped me little bit but I don’t trust my body anymore. My legs are still heavy and have weird feeling.

My biggest worry/shame/sadness is that I can’t get married and have children for my parents sake.
I really wont to die.

Post automatically merged: Dec 18, 2022

This was my life last month no body understand me.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a lot, I just hope you get better soon.

 

[leon315]

IF MUSIC has a lot of influence on your emotions, then why don't you try this one?

edit: i saw TC your have iron deficiency, from my journey in China, i saw those wise people eats a lot of seaweeds, which is an excellent natural source of iron, also seaweed meat stew tastes great too! U should definitely try it out, just look it at local chinese market!

 

[yuyuyup]

Did you get tests for your iron, do you absorb vitamin d through sunlight

 

[MohammedQ8]

thank you all for your comments.

yes my iron serum level was 9.2 during these awful days. I took iron supplements and after few weeks it went to 9.3 so I told my doctor to give me iron via IV infusion and now my iron serum is 14 and ferritin is 443.

however I am still tired not 100% yet.

my vitamin d was 50 some say it is high and some say it normal

high vitamin d and low iron cause same symptoms like general weakness so I stopped taking vitamin d.

I don't know what to do exactly like which doctor to see but I have to live through it and look good doctors.

 

[weestuarty]

it definently sounds like anxiety gripping you. I suffer major anxiety every single day and it cripples my life. Things i would do daily a few years ago i cant do most days now.
You need to speak to a doctor about depression and anxiety and specifically tell them this. There is no easy way to fix it, they may offer medication to assist but its not the cure, its support (good support but still support). The best thing is to communicate to family and friends about this, as tough as this is it makes fighting it 100 times easier. I say communicate rather than talk because there are other ways that may be easier; messaging/letters or even drawing. I tried talking but im not great with words and that made writing it even more difficult, thats why i ended up trying to draw what i recall from an anxiety episode and it strangely helped me solidify it outside my head and it greatly helped other people understand.

Remember this is a temporary problem even if it lasts years but ending things is a permanent solution and you dont fix temporary with permanent.

Post automatically merged: Dec 19, 2022

ps search Anxiety - Stuart Learmonth on amazon for a great little series of comics (shameless self promotion because it helped me)

 

[MohammedQ8]

it definently sounds like anxiety gripping you. I suffer major anxiety every single day and it cripples my life. Things i would do daily a few years ago i cant do most days now.
You need to speak to a doctor about depression and anxiety and specifically tell them this. There is no easy way to fix it, they may offer medication to assist but its not the cure, its support (good support but still support). The best thing is to communicate to family and friends about this, as tough as this is it makes fighting it 100 times easier. I say communicate rather than talk because there are other ways that may be easier; messaging/letters or even drawing. I tried talking but im not great with words and that made writing it even more difficult, thats why i ended up trying to draw what i recall from an anxiety episode and it strangely helped me solidify it outside my head and it greatly helped other people understand.

Remember this is a temporary problem even if it lasts years but ending things is a permanent solution and you dont fix temporary with permanent.

Post automatically merged: Dec 19, 2022

ps search Anxiety - Stuart Learmonth on amazon for a great little series of comics (shameless self promotion because it helped me)

Thank you for your comment I hope we both get better.

I went to doctors of course but I didn’t like their drain alternating medications like ciprolax so I am try new things everyday ….. like this week I focus on vitamin c and next week omega 3 ….. and minerals …… I feel little bit better now with vitamin c (camu camu powder) but still sometimes my body doesn’t like new supplements and goes straight to panic attack and blood pressure goes up and down again.

But at the beginning of November before fixing iron deficiency I go to panic attack to another panic attack everyday it doesn’t matter if I was happy or sad.

I was sitting down watching comedy shows and my heart rate goes up 120, high blood pressure 143/90, feeling cold, general weakness, weak heavy legs, my drain feels weird and more.

I went to heart doctor and did heart sonar and I am ok but ….. I don’t know ….. I don’t know it they know lol.

Will wait and see what happens next.

 

[weestuarty]

Its tough and the medication can help but it takes a while to get your body to adjust and finding the right balance is tough. Thanks for the positive outlook for us both, we could use it!

Small steps work best. Its just like playing Zelda, you need to take it slow and progress slowly to build yourself up to fight ganon. You could run straight to him and defeat him but not everyone can do that and its ok to take it in your own time and build up

 

[MohammedQ8]

Its tough and the medication can help but it takes a while to get your body to adjust and finding the right balance is tough. Thanks for the positive outlook for us both, we could use it!

Small steps work best. Its just like playing Zelda, you need to take it slow and progress slowly to build yourself up to fight ganon. You could run straight to him and defeat him but not everyone can do that and its ok to take it in your own time and build up

I refuse to take brain altering drugs I never used them.

The words feeling when you go to a doctor and he send you to mental doctor because I was weak, stutter and other things …. I was broken and Unfortunately no one was with me that day to defend me.

That was my worst version of me …. It is not me.

I tried b complex and multiple versions of b1 ….. it helps little bit.

I am afraid to take magnesium gly because it make made my heart rate go up. However I will try it again in the future.

I am taking 100 billion of probiotics but not sure if they are alive lol.

I tried algae omega 3 it has high dha and it helped little bit. I will try to eat more sea foods

Now I am only taking multi minerals and camu camu powder for vitamin c and I feel better.

Maybe because of them or my body and brain recovered little bit.

 

[MohammedQ8]

Update:

I feel bit better now while taking probiotics 100 billion on empty stomach , sauerkraut with lunch and dinner or kimchi. (Almost one month)

I am still take camu camu for natural vitamin c and not very often magnesium and good quality not high dose of vitamin b complex.

I going to take probiotics for 2 months and see what happens.

 

[Flame]

bro you need see a doctor and take they advice, they is no shame in taking medication. the amount of help we can give is limited. I hope the best for you.

 

[MohammedQ8]

bro you need see a doctor and take they advice, they is no shame in taking medication. the amount of help we can give is limited. I hope the best for you.

I am not looking for help. I want to make this my live diary.

Thank you for commenting.

 

[SylverReZ]

I am not looking for help. I want to make this my live diary.

Thank you for commenting.

I wouldn't go and put anything personal onto a gaming forum. Just speak to a therapist or anybody you trust about it.

 

[weestuarty]

I wouldn't go and put anything personal onto a gaming forum. Just keep it all to yourself and speak to a therapist about it.

Talking about it anywhere is fine, anywhere you feel comfortable to speak freely, anywhere that lets it out of your head. Keeping things to yourself is the worst advice in the world, ignore it. If people dont want to see your thoughts or your diary then they can simply choose not to read it.

 

[SylverReZ]

Talking about it anywhere is fine, anywhere you feel comfortable to speak freely, anywhere that lets it out of your head. Keeping things to yourself is the worst advice in the world, ignore it. If people dont want to see your thoughts or your diary then they can simply choose not to read it.

What I'm trying to say is to speak with somebody you trust, like a therapist for example.

 

[Kunty]

As a soon to be fully qualified therapist I cannot tell you enough how much of a terrible idea it would be to keep this all to yourself. If you feel safe in this space to let out your thoughts and feelings then I think that it is a good idea. Plus it could perhaps help others who are in a similar situation. I wonder though if a particular event has happened in your life to trigger these thoughts and feelings?

 

[Deleted member 158512]

This happened to me once (though it was triggered by something very specific, and could have been related to after-effects of a terrible flu which lasted months). I spent about 3 years racked by guilt and fear. After the first few months it eventually became a once a month or one-week-a-month thing. Eventually I learned to ignore it, knowing that it was temporary and just had to last until it went away again (also burying myself in work helped - this was my most upwardly-mobile time ever).

The most important thing to remember is that the anxiety doesn't define you. I was so afraid I'd have to meet people and disclose that I had these awful anxiety attacks and that they dominated my mind and that was the most important thing to know about me, but eventually all those feelings went away.

 

[SylverReZ]

This happened to me once (though it was triggered by something very specific, and could have been related to after-effects of a terrible flu which lasted months). I spent about 3 years racked by guilt and fear. After the first few months it eventually became a once a month or one-week-a-month thing. Eventually I learned to ignore it, knowing that it was temporary and just had to last until it went away again (also burying myself in work helped - this was my most upwardly-mobile time ever).

The most important thing to remember is that the anxiety doesn't define you. I was so afraid I'd have to meet people and disclose that I had these awful anxiety attacks and that they dominated my mind and that was the most important thing to know about me, but eventually all those feelings went away.

I'm happy that you're getting better.

 

[MohammedQ8]

As a soon to be fully qualified therapist I cannot tell you enough how much of a terrible idea it would be to keep this all to yourself. If you feel safe in this space to let out your thoughts and feelings then I think that it is a good idea. Plus it could perhaps help others who are in a similar situation. I wonder though if a particular event has happened in your life to trigger these thoughts and feelings?

Talking about it anywhere is fine, anywhere you feel comfortable to speak freely, anywhere that lets it out of your head. Keeping things to yourself is the worst advice in the world, ignore it. If people dont want to see your thoughts or your diary then they can simply choose not to read it.

This happened to me once (though it was triggered by something very specific, and could have been related to after-effects of a terrible flu which lasted months). I spent about 3 years racked by guilt and fear. After the first few months it eventually became a once a month or one-week-a-month thing. Eventually I learned to ignore it, knowing that it was temporary and just had to last until it went away again (also burying myself in work helped - this was my most upwardly-mobile time ever).

The most important thing to remember is that the anxiety doesn't define you. I was so afraid I'd have to meet people and disclose that I had these awful anxiety attacks and that they dominated my mind and that was the most important thing to know about me, but eventually all those feelings went away.

Thank you very much.

 

[JaapDaniels]

Since you're sad your whole life, and now you're really getting bloodpressure problems, get your heart checked for leaking heart valve for these are telltale signs!