Happy to be alive.

[MPRTwice]

Any moments where you felt happy to be alive? Strictly to be alive?

I felt very happy to be alive after I had a case of septic shock about a year ago. It was untreated since I had no access to benefits. I felt my body try to shut down and undergo "death" convulsions, and it required three months to be rid of it, with lasting near death post symptomatic effects for a year.

That made me very grateful to live and fully recover from that!

Any times you felt extra-grateful and just simply had no cares about other things? It's a very optimistic feeling!

 

[The_Dizzy_Vizzy]

Thanks for sharing MPRTwice -

I am! A long time ago I went through a really ugly period of depression which was both situational and chemical, which had created a vicious cycle. I hated it. I hated my life, what I had done with it, what I'd done to it, and I was close to checking out. I eventually pulled my head out of my ass and got the help I needed. Now, years later, I'm totally content - happy to be alive and happy with what I'm doing with my life. So for the record, I've been there. I wouldn't wish depression on anyone, it it unbelievably debilitating.

 

[MFDC12]

I was down a very bad path basically through mostly through the 2010s, very bad mental state and didn’t care if I really lived or not, and then in 2020 I got covid and was really close to dying, and then made a full recovery. Since the day I was back to 100% I have made tremendous strides, improving myself as much as I can. Once I finally figured out my mental health issues, I started improving all the parts I disliked about myself like getting cleaned up visually, stopped using alcohol or smoking, stopped using social media, started exercising and getting out there and interacting with people in real life, and since I have very seldomly gotten close to my lows.

To answer your question, it’s not just moments, it’s every day. I love life, and finally see the beauty in it, and I am thankful to myself for every day I didn’t end myself when I was in my 20s, and am making up for so much lost or wasted time.

 

[The Catboy]

I started 2025 with my gullblader on the brink of bursting and was actually on the edge of death. Luckily, that didn't happen, and I am down a gullblader

 

[The_Dizzy_Vizzy]

I was down a very bad path basically through mostly through the 2010s, very bad mental state and didn’t care if I really lived or not, and then in 2020 I got covid and was really close to dying, and then made a full recovery. Since the day I was back to 100% I have made tremendous strides, improving myself as much as I can. Once I finally figured out my mental health issues, I started improving all the parts I disliked about myself like getting cleaned up visually, stopped using alcohol or smoking, stopped using social media, started exercising and getting out there and interacting with people in real life, and since I have very seldomly gotten close to my lows.

To answer your question, it’s not just moments, it’s every day. I love life, and finally see the beauty in it, and I am thankful to myself for every day I didn’t end myself when I was in my 20s, and am making up for so much lost or wasted time.

You are to be congratulated, good sir! It's a helluva lot more easier to give up than it is to face yourself and to find your true, inner-self and your true strength. And here we are today! I also gave up drinking and smoking, luckily I don't have to attend meetings or anything, which would have served as constant reminder of my state.
Nothing at all against people who do attend meetings for substance abuse, they too shoud be applauded. I'm just glad I was able to do it without that kind of commitment.

Cheers!

Post automatically merged: Dec 24, 2025

I started 2025 with my gullblader on the brink of bursting and was actually on the edge of death. Luckily, that didn't happen, and I am down a gullblader

Even if it had, you've got 9 lives mate!

 

[MPRTwice]

I was left to die by family and friends, and not invited for the holidays. That happens; I am very used to it, to the surprise of others.

Now, my life, career, and bank account were all threatened at the same time, and here I am!

And here I had a hard time imagining what could be harder than teaching for months with active septic shock and zero benefits, but that sure helped me learn! I'm the first one to survive that and fully recover while completely untreated as of last year. The minor nuisance is convincing the medical staff that you will easily risk your life with the infection over a guarantee of a huge two month Intensive Care Unit and ER visit by ambluance out of pocket, but I did it!

I've got untreated sepsis and a bit of septic shock again this year, this time with the flu, but after all else, I am _very_ relaxed and easygoing. It's nothing more than an inconvenience, though I'd like to not have some pains shooting around my neck and shoulders as I train, and the throwing up twice daily on average is inconvenient. I look forward to some antibiotics after three months of this and training in the snow; benefits arrive in a few days.

I overheard this home from work today, and I have to say: this sounds like a bunch of whining! I'm alone too without family or friends over the holidays after nearly dying and being betrayed and left to die, and you don't see me whining about it!



This is the closest I got to feeling down with a song:



And that did _not_ last long.

"
Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.
"

 

[k66]

There were a few times when I might have eaten spoiled food from the fridge.
When I sat on the toilet vomiting and having diarrhea, I felt like I was about to die, but fortunately, I pulled through.

 

[MPRTwice]

I just lived through two road ragers, one of which one foot from slamming into my side window with me next to it, and the other screeching to a halt after tailgating me in the slick rain. Not a scratch on me:




until 1:56, just the quotes in the film, describe how I feel right now after the flu, sepsis, carpal tunnel, throwing up thirty times, and now this double road rage life threatening feature and I am _still_ breaking my old records in fitness and health.

Death Truly has no power over me. I don't even age. I just get younger.

 

[Skv0ra]

Depression of any cause is most certainly a bitter bitch, and I too wouldn't wish that even on my sword enemies.

On topic of living - only thing I can confidently say is that even after some potential shaves with death, so long as death isn't some prolonged and excruciating pain, I'm still quite indifferent to living. Still looking for my earnest reason to want to be alive and do whatever that may be, but definitely not pursuing death or pain or anything of the sort.

So things like Paul Walker's and now CoD designer's instant kills are very, very likely how I'd like to go at some point, and very likely if my body develops some chronic pain that will make living miserable. Until then - I joke, I laugh, set my alarms for jobs, and hope I don't wake up.

 

[MPRTwice]

Depression of any cause is most certainly a bitter bitch, and I too wouldn't wish that even on my sword enemies.

On topic of living - only thing I can confidently say is that even after some potential shaves with death, so long as death isn't some prolonged and excruciating pain, I'm still quite indifferent to living. Still looking for my earnest reason to want to be alive and do whatever that may be, but definitely not pursuing death or pain or anything of the sort.

So things like Paul Walker's and now CoD designer's instant kills are very, very likely how I'd like to go at some point, and very likely if my body develops some chronic pain that will make living miserable. Until then - I joke, I laugh, set my alarms for jobs, and hope I don't wake up.

I want to live because in part, I am a very angry person. I am determined to be a living testimony that the devil won't have things his way, and I just got my stuff back from an attempted theft of thousands of dollars of equipment, all of it.

That feeling when you have someone who hates you and everything you stand for (because you choose to be kind), to just yell "how in the heck are you still alive!?" after you make it past a seemingly impossible life-threatening event is just so fulfilling!

On Friday, my hand turned purple, I threw up thirty times, and I coughed up red things, etc., and today, with no medical treatment yet, I've bounced back from near the brink and am eager to jump around and exercise even though the bruising and lesser version of the symptoms are still there! Can you compare that feeling to anything else: Back from the brink?

they say depression is anger turned inwards, I'm a very "angy boy", so I light up bags more than a December Mall Tree, that way I use that anger without it hurting anyone (the bags are a different story; they rest in pieces), but in doing so, I feel _better_ about myself, not worse, as I went through tough things. This "hit bags, not people" method is why so many of my students stopped taking drugs and using habits like road rage:

"Mr. _ , you're right! When I get angry at a bad day now I just go hit a bag, and everyone is telling me I'm nicer, I stopped taking drugs and doin' road rage, and now I actually feel _good_ about myself after every hard day!"

Hitting a bag viciously instead of people also has a habit of putting us in great physical health:

"If I am angry and I hit a person hard every day, I go to jail. If I am angry and I hit a bag hard every day, soon enough I am offered a multi-billion dollar boxing contract that I can always say no to."

 

[Skv0ra]

I want to live because in part, I am a very angry person. I am determined to be a living testimony that the devil won't have things his way, and I just got my stuff back from an attempted theft of thousands of dollars of equipment, all of it.

That feeling when you have someone who hates you and everything you stand for (because you choose to be kind), to just yell "how in the heck are you still alive!?" after you make it past a seemingly impossible life-threatening event is just so fulfilling!

On Friday, my hand turned purple, I threw up thirty times, and I coughed up red things, etc., and today, with no medical treatment yet, I've bounced back from near the brink and am eager to jump around and exercise even though the bruising and lesser version of the symptoms are still there! Can you compare that feeling to anything else: Back from the brink?

they say depression is anger turned inwards, I'm a very "angy boy", so I light up bags more than a December Mall Tree, that way I use that anger without it hurting anyone (the bags are a different story; they rest in pieces), but in doing so, I feel _better_ about myself, not worse, as I went through tough things. This "hit bags, not people" method is why so many of my students stopped taking drugs and using habits like road rage:

"Mr. _ , you're right! When I get angry at a bad day now I just go hit a bag, and everyone is telling me I'm nicer, I stopped taking drugs and doin' road rage, and now I actually feel _good_ about myself after every hard day!"

That's still a strong reason and motivation to be. I still haven't quite found mine on that deep and visceral level.

 

[lunalunalunaluna]

about 2 years ago got let go from my job unexpectedly, fighting through the job market for around 8~ months was absolute hell but finally was able to get a (somehow better) position elsewhere. incredibly stressful having to worry about income and health insurance and whatnot and getting those back to stable was very freeing and definitely gave me hope that i can get through whatever other hard stuff comes my way.

 

[The_Dizzy_Vizzy]

I was left to die by family and friends, and not invited for the holidays. That happens; I am very used to it, to the surprise of others.

Now, my life, career, and bank account were all threatened at the same time, and here I am!

And here I had a hard time imagining what could be harder than teaching for months with active septic shock and zero benefits, but that sure helped me learn! I'm the first one to survive that and fully recover while completely untreated as of last year. The minor nuisance is convincing the medical staff that you will easily risk your life with the infection over a guarantee of a huge two month Intensive Care Unit and ER visit by ambluance out of pocket, but I did it!

I've got untreated sepsis and a bit of septic shock again this year, this time with the flu, but after all else, I am _very_ relaxed and easygoing. It's nothing more than an inconvenience, though I'd like to not have some pains shooting around my neck and shoulders as I train, and the throwing up twice daily on average is inconvenient. I look forward to some antibiotics after three months of this and training in the snow; benefits arrive in a few days.

I overheard this home from work today, and I have to say: this sounds like a bunch of whining! I'm alone too without family or friends over the holidays after nearly dying and being betrayed and left to die, and you don't see me whining about it!



This is the closest I got to feeling down with a song:



And that did _not_ last long.

"
Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.
"

That's quite a journey MPRT, glad you found your inner strength and inner self-worth to raise up above the currents and carve out a piece of life for yourself!

Post automatically merged: Dec 30, 2025

I just lived through two road ragers, one of which one foot from slamming into my side window with me next to it, and the other screeching to a halt after tailgating me in the slick rain. Not a scratch on me:




until 1:56, just the quotes in the film, describe how I feel right now after the flu, sepsis, carpal tunnel, throwing up thirty times, and now this double road rage life threatening feature and I am _still_ breaking my old records in fitness and health.

Death Truly has no power over me. I don't even age. I just get younger.

LOL, Groundhog Day, that film never gets old. I can watch it again and again and again and again and..."I thought that was Willard Scott!"

 

[MPRTwice]

This was not the easiest year I ever had, but what a finish to it:




I feel super sick. On the bright side, I broke at least twelve world records in five hours:



- highest number of dumbbell bench presses (75 pounds x 3, three reps)



- pullups (5 + 5 + 2 + 1)



- rows (110 pounds x 3 on each side)



- miles cycled (20 miles in one hour and thirty eight minutes)



- punches thrown (1,200)



- punches thrown with 20 pound weights in each hand (48)



- patterns done with dumbbells in each hand (4)



- kicks (2)



- stretches (2)



- leg extensions (265 pounds, 35 reps)



- box jumps (36 inches, 10 reps)



-combat sports opponents defeated using only a single hand (no kicks, knees, elbows, etc.: only front hand punches) for defending, parrying and attacking (six, three in wrestling, two in muay thai, one in boxing)



for a man infected with untreated sepsis during the _entire_ five hour nonstop session. Can hardly wait to see the doctor; coverage in less than 24 hours.



That's what I get for being patient with my career, livelihood, life, bank account, etc. threatened at the same time.


The next time a doctor tells me I should consider dying peacefully at home as there is no chance even with an Intensive Care Unit, I can tell him again that I want a new doctor, if it ever comes to that again.


The year is mine, satan; you lost.

 

[MPRTwice]