I game with my wife whenever possible, and I help my daughter whenever she needs help on her DS. I play my 360 when my wife and kids are gone since it's usually something gory or inappropriate for kids that I'm playing. I have a wife and 2 kids. I still find time to skateboard and play video games without being selfish. My wife thankfully understands the concept of "me" time.
Games or relationships?
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Interesting. I had not especially intended those points to be clarified quite like that (the second and third section were supposed to be individual points) but I am happy enough with that, equally I had intended some of them more as discussion points than statements of my opinion.
1) Thankyou for the clarification, I was aware my rewording would have problems but now it is all sorted.
2) I did see it was a facetious remark but the scientific distinction between HIV and AIDS was what I was aiming for.
3) No real response other than to note elite, bomberman and tetris in various incarnations have been around for me far longer than the vast majority of relationships I have ever encountered.
You also seem to assume an absolute in a relationship, does "we will still be friends" not exist?
In furtherance I will have to ask is marriage necessary, something to be recognised or the "conclusion" as it were to a relationship?
Responding to Morgawr using his numbering of the points.
1) See above.
2)"Throughout all this thread I was talking about serious relationships"
I suppose that is the problem here, I was talking from the "modern" (in quotes as every good history book I have read would say such a concept is far from modern, I will clarify that as modern civilisation too as opposed to the hunter gather thing. Case in point is going to be ancient Greece although I could pick almost any civilisation) concept where long term stuff is but one option of many (with subtypes in subtypes).
3) See above.
4),5) and 6). Thanks for the clarification and I suppose my response to 2) would apply here.
1) Thankyou for the clarification, I was aware my rewording would have problems but now it is all sorted.
2) I did see it was a facetious remark but the scientific distinction between HIV and AIDS was what I was aiming for.
3) No real response other than to note elite, bomberman and tetris in various incarnations have been around for me far longer than the vast majority of relationships I have ever encountered.
You also seem to assume an absolute in a relationship, does "we will still be friends" not exist?
In furtherance I will have to ask is marriage necessary, something to be recognised or the "conclusion" as it were to a relationship?
Responding to Morgawr using his numbering of the points.
1) See above.
2)"Throughout all this thread I was talking about serious relationships"
I suppose that is the problem here, I was talking from the "modern" (in quotes as every good history book I have read would say such a concept is far from modern, I will clarify that as modern civilisation too as opposed to the hunter gather thing. Case in point is going to be ancient Greece although I could pick almost any civilisation) concept where long term stuff is but one option of many (with subtypes in subtypes).
3) See above.
4),5) and 6). Thanks for the clarification and I suppose my response to 2) would apply here.
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layzieyez said:I game with my wife whenever possible, and I help my daughter whenever she needs help on her DS. I play my 360 when my wife and kids are gone since it's usually something gory or inappropriate for kids that I'm playing. I have a wife and 2 kids. I still find time to skateboard and play video games without being selfish. My wife thankfully understands the concept of "me" time.
Now that seems like a mature and well-rounded relationship.
QUOTE(FAST6191 @ Feb 25 2009, 03:35 PM) Interesting. I had not especially intended those points to be clarified quite like that (the second and third section were supposed to be individual points) but I am happy enough with that, equally I had intended some of them more as discussion points than statements of my opinion.
1) Thankyou for the clarification, I was aware my rewording would have problems but now it is all sorted.
2) I did see it was a facetious remark but the scientific distinction between HIV and AIDS was what I was aiming for.
3) No real response other than to note elite, bomberman and tetris in various incarnations have been around for me far longer than the vast majority of relationships I have ever encountered.
You also seem to assume an absolute in a relationship, does "we will still be friends" not exist?
In furtherance I will have to ask is marriage necessary, something to be recognised or the "conclusion" as it were to a relationship?
1) Not a problem.
2) There is indeed a distinction, and I recognize that fully. At the time I was trying to respond on the same level as the comment I was responding too.
3) Friendship after romance is a tricky subject, it's really not something that can be determined by any absolute.
I feel most post-relationship friendships likely don't succeed as there are most commonly two ways to end a relationship: with one or both sides feeling bitter towards the other, or with one or both sides continuing to pine for the relationship. There are rare instances where neither is applicable, but I do feel they are indeed quite rare.
Keeping that in mind I would have to conclude that most friendships after intimacy likely would not last. In my personal experience I've never seen a successful post-relationship friendship in the long term. I don't presume to say that's how it would be for everyone, but I think there's a fair amount of evidence out there to back my statements up as being largely common.
---
In regards to marriage you're likely asking the wrong person. I don't believe in marriage myself (no offense intended to those who do). My feeling is that if you really love each other you don't need a legal form to prove it.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you don't really love each other and the marriage fails, you leave yourself open to pointless and what I feel are personally infuriating legal repercussions. With the woman (as a heterosexual male I assume I would be married to a woman
I would never leave myself open to such a weakness. If the love is true we'll be together regardless and in spite of marriage. If it's not when we part neither one of us can hurt the other through a vicious and pointless legal battle.
The purest love I've ever heard of came from a selfless act between the engaged. The wife-to-be volunteered to sign a prenuptial agreement. The matter had never been brought up between them before, and the husband-to-be had never hinted or requested that she do so.
He was wealthy, she knew he was wealthy while she was not, and she still said that she wanted to sign the form so that for the rest of their lives he'd know it wasn't about the money. That really spoke to me in these modern times of greed.
Talking about marriage, I have to make a clarification ^^ I don't believe in marriage either, even though it may have been unclear in m previous post. What I do believe in is "eternal" love (eternal as in lasting for a lot of time, for the whole duration of a person's life). Marriage is just a way like another to celebrate it with friends and people and make everyone recognize it as an "official love". I'm not Christian and I don't have a real religion (not Atheist either) so it wouldn't count as a Christian matrimony, though I have to say that I would enjoy being officially married for all to see. I can understand however that in case the relationship turns out bad, it'll be a lot of more troubles for everyone else; though it gives more stability and certainty.Ace Gunman said:layzieyez said:I game with my wife whenever possible, and I help my daughter whenever she needs help on her DS. I play my 360 when my wife and kids are gone since it's usually something gory or inappropriate for kids that I'm playing. I have a wife and 2 kids. I still find time to skateboard and play video games without being selfish. My wife thankfully understands the concept of "me" time.
Now that seems like a mature and well-rounded relationship.
QUOTE(FAST6191 @ Feb 25 2009, 03:35 PM) Interesting. I had not especially intended those points to be clarified quite like that (the second and third section were supposed to be individual points) but I am happy enough with that, equally I had intended some of them more as discussion points than statements of my opinion.
1) Thankyou for the clarification, I was aware my rewording would have problems but now it is all sorted.
2) I did see it was a facetious remark but the scientific distinction between HIV and AIDS was what I was aiming for.
3) No real response other than to note elite, bomberman and tetris in various incarnations have been around for me far longer than the vast majority of relationships I have ever encountered.
You also seem to assume an absolute in a relationship, does "we will still be friends" not exist?
In furtherance I will have to ask is marriage necessary, something to be recognised or the "conclusion" as it were to a relationship?
1) Not a problem.
2) There is indeed a distinction, and I recognize that fully. At the time I was trying to respond on the same level as the comment I was responding too.
3) Friendship after romance is a tricky subject, it's really not something that can be determined by any absolute.
I feel most post-relationship friendships likely don't succeed as there are most commonly two ways to end a relationship: with one or both sides feeling bitter towards the other, or with one or both sides continuing to pine for the relationship. There are rare instances where neither is applicable, but I do feel they are indeed quite rare.
Keeping that in mind I would have to conclude that most friendships after intimacy likely would not last. In my personal experience I've never seen a successful post-relationship friendship in the long term. I don't presume to say that's how it would be for everyone, but I think there's a fair amount of evidence out there to back my statements up as being largely common.
---
In regards to marriage you're likely asking the wrong person. I don't believe in marriage myself (no offense intended to those who do). My feeling is that if you really love each other you don't need a legal form to prove it.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you don't really love each other and the marriage fails, you leave yourself open to pointless and what I feel are personally infuriating legal repercussions. With the woman (as a heterosexual male I assume I would be married to a woman) typically ending up with the better bargain and most of your possessions.
I would never leave myself open to such a weakness. If the love is true we'll be together regardless and in spite of marriage. If it's not when we part neither one of us can hurt the other through a vicious and pointless legal battle.
The purest love I've ever heard of came from a selfless act between the engaged. The wife-to-be volunteered to sign a prenuptial agreement. The matter had never been brought up between them before, and the husband-to-be had never hinted or requested that she do so.
He was wealthy, she knew he was wealthy while she was not, and she still said that she wanted to sign the form so that for the rest of their lives he'd know it wasn't about the money. That really spoke to me in these modern times of greed.
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Just to pick up on that one line. I think that once upon a time it may have given that sort of stability, but with divorce rates what they are and people told not to stay married for the children if they want to split... That sense of certainty really no longer exists from marriage. These days it tends to be as easy to cast away as any unmarried relationship, just with the added downfall of a legal battle. Which is unfortunate.Morgawr said:
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Thanks Ace Gunman, we do have a mature relationship (much better than my first marriage where my ex was so petty). As an aside, my daughter's DS is used as a reward/motivator amongst other things. She only plays until 7:30pm on school nights and she can't play if she doesn't practice reading or listen to her parents. She's very smart and mature compared to some of her fellow 4 year old peers (whenever she misbehaves, I ask her if she is being a big girl or a big baby since only big girls get to play DS).
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