i made this post on a 3ds

Nobody_Important4u

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I made this post with my stupid text-mode web browser.
I used to be severely depressed. Used Linux, blocked Javascript/ads/etc, used a VPN, my web experience was basically plain text. Emailed Stallman regularly to talk about how great it was nobody could spy on us viewing the web in plain text. But then one day I ordered my breakfast Pizza and the delivery guy was a girl. She pulls out her iPhone and says "Double Extra Large Pizza for Anon?" I nearly shit myself. An iPhone?? This close to my privacy sanctuary. This fucking bitch ignored all the signs leading to my door saying to leave your electronics in the neighbor's mailbox across the street (maximum distance to guarantee the botnet stays off my property). I fucking slapped her. Literally. Full open hand slap. She starts crying. "Why'd you bring a fucking iPhone to my door you dumb BITCH!" I screamed, more tears running down my face than hers at this point. I shoved her as hard as I could, she falls back and hits her head on the concrete. I start kicking her womb making sure she can't reproduce any more retard babies. She looks pretty gruesome. Suddenly I realize what I've done. I try to email Stallman but he already knows an iPhone has been near me and has blocked all incoming messages from me. I'm fucked. I can hear the sirens in the distance. Dumb cunt used her fucking iPhone to call the cops on me. Typical. Anyway, the cops manage to arrest me and I've been in prison ever since. My cellmate Juan forces me to smuggle cocaine into the prison up my ass and I have to use an iPhone he smuggled in to coordinate drop offs. It's actually not so bad and the apps are pretty neat.
 

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I used to be severely depressed. Used Linux, blocked Javascript/ads/etc, used a VPN, my web experience was basically plain text. Emailed Stallman regularly to talk about how great it was nobody could spy on us viewing the web in plain text. But then one day I ordered my breakfast Pizza and the delivery guy was a girl. She pulls out her iPhone and says "Double Extra Large Pizza for Anon?" I nearly shit myself. An iPhone?? This close to my privacy sanctuary. This fucking bitch ignored all the signs leading to my door saying to leave your electronics in the neighbor's mailbox across the street (maximum distance to guarantee the botnet stays off my property). I fucking slapped her. Literally. Full open hand slap. She starts crying. "Why'd you bring a fucking iPhone to my door you dumb BITCH!" I screamed, more tears running down my face than hers at this point. I shoved her as hard as I could, she falls back and hits her head on the concrete. I start kicking her womb making sure she can't reproduce any more retard babies. She looks pretty gruesome. Suddenly I realize what I've done. I try to email Stallman but he already knows an iPhone has been near me and has blocked all incoming messages from me. I'm fucked. I can hear the sirens in the distance. Dumb cunt used her fucking iPhone to call the cops on me. Typical. Anyway, the cops manage to arrest me and I've been in prison ever since. My cellmate Juan forces me to smuggle cocaine into the prison up my ass and I have to use an iPhone he smuggled in to coordinate drop offs. It's actually not so bad and the apps are pretty neat.
Screenshot.png

This is not depressing at all, I can just live like this...
For a few weeks earlier this year this was my only web browser because the stupid Nvidia graphics card in my desktop computer died and the only other thing I could use at that time was a very old netbook. I used it in graphics mode though, it can display images and some basic HTML styles.
 

Nobody_Important4u

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View attachment 233967
This is not depressing at all, I can just live like this...
For a few weeks earlier this year this was my only web browser because the stupid Nvidia graphics card in my desktop computer died and the only other thing I could use at that time was a very old netbook. I used it in graphics mode though, it can display images and some basic HTML styles.
Oh god this copypasta is actually accurate...
 
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