I went to the store and explained my problem. The guy went out the back to speak to his manager. When he returned he said that they can't accept a return and advised me to contact Nintendo. Haven't done this yet.
Probably because Nintendo rushed to push the Switch out since they fucked up so badly with the Wii U. The price of rushing it is a number of defects in the early hardware (joycons disconnecting, the battery going down to 1% after a few mintues, an insanely huge security flaw and shit left under the screen). And Nintendo being the cheap bastards they are refuse to cover defects under warranty if they are not legally obliged to.
And when they are legally obliged to they take their fucking time.