Nintendo Switch January 12 Event Roundup

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And so the event comes to a close. You can see the live updates HERE. I'm going to be covering the most important announcements in this thread and keeping it a bit more organized.

Release Date: March 3 2017 Worldwide
Cost: 299.99 USD
When LOZ? LAUNCH TITLE
Online Services: Will Cost Money like PSN and XBL
Region Lock? NOPE
Battery Life: 2-6 hours
Smaller details: Capacative Touch, USB C Charger, amiibo support, screenshot button
Joycons: They come in 3 colors and have "HD rumble", along with an IR camera. Gimmicky but also interesting tech. Cost $80. Pro Controller Costs 70.
Games in order of announcement:
1 2 Switch:
A game that uses motion and not a screen. Party game. Launch game.
ARMS: It's like Wii Sports Boxing. Has online multiplayer. Spring 2017
Splatoon 2: Local and online multi. Summer 2017. Will have updates for items and maps like the original.
Mario Odyssey: Open World Mario game. Looks amazing, lots of detail. Interesting levels. Holiday 2017
Xenoblade 2: Xenoblade X go home.
Fire Emblem Warriors: Dynasty WarriorsxFire Emblem
Dragon Quest X and XI: No immidiate footage
Octopath Traveler: Square 2D Classic RPG
Shin Megami Tensei: Early in development
Skyrim: Are you honestly surprised?
FIFA: Coming to the Switch


Ports
Disgaea 5
Binding of Issac
Rayman Legends
Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2
Sonic Project 2017
Sonic Mania
Blazblue
Story of Seasons
Taiko
Dragon Quest Heroes 1+2
Nobunaga
Just Dance
Minecraft
Skylanders Imaginators
Street fighter 2 Ultra
Tetris
Bomberman??? By...Konami?
Steep
Fast Racing Neo 2
Mario Kart 8 with a Battle Mode
I Am Setsuna
Redout

Press Release
13th January, 2016 – Nintendo announced today that the new Nintendo Switch console will launch worldwide* on Friday 3rd March.

The package will include the main console, Joy-Con (L) and Joy-Con (R) controllers, a Joy-Con grip (to which two Joy-Con are attached and used as one controller), a set of Joy-Con wrist straps, a Nintendo Switch dock (which holds the main console and connects it to a TV), a HDMI cable and an AC adapter. Two stylish versions of the console will be released: a version with a set of grey Joy-Con, and a version with one neon blue and one neon red Joy-Con. The package will be priced at £279.99 on the Nintendo Official UK Store.

Nintendo Switch is a brand-new kind of home gaming system that offers a wide variety of play modes,” said Nintendo President Tatsumi Kimishima. “We will introduce the world to new experiences made possible by the unique characteristics of the Nintendo Switch hardware and the Joy-Con.”

Nintendo Switch is a breakthrough home video game console. It not only connects to a TV at home, but it also instantly transforms into an on-the-go handheld using its 6.2-inch screen. For the first time, players can enjoy a full home-console experience anytime, anywhere. The screen includes capacitive multi-touch capabilities for compatible games. Battery life can last for more than six hours, but will vary depending on the software and usage conditions.. For example, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild can be played for roughly three hours on a single charge. While away from home, Nintendo Switch can be charged by plugging the AC adapter into the console’s USB Type-C connector.

The versatile Joy-Con offer multiple surprising new ways for players to have fun. Two Joy-Con can be used independently in each hand, or together as one game controller when attached to the Joy-Con grip. They can also attach to the main console for use in handheld mode, or be shared with friends to enjoy two-player action in supported games. Each Joy-Con has a full set of buttons and can act as a standalone controller, and each includes an accelerometer and gyroscope motion sensor, making independent left and right motion control possible.

Nintendo Switch also contains a number of built-in features that make it more interactive. The left Joy-Con has a Capture Button that players can press to take instant screenshots of gameplay to share with friends on social media. The right Joy-Con includes an NFC touchpoint for interaction with amiibo figures, as well as an IR Motion Camera that can detect the distance, shape and motion of nearby objects in specially designed games. For example, it can tell how far away a player’s hand is, and even if the hand is forming a rock, paper or scissors shape. Both Joy-Con include advanced HD rumble, which can provide compatible games with subtle vibrations that are much more realistic than before. The effect is so detailed that a player could, for example, feel the vibration of individual ice cubes colliding inside a glass when shaking a Joy-Con. With HD rumble you can experience a level of realism not possible through sights and sounds alone.

Nintendo Switch makes it easy for players to stay connected. Up to 8 consoles can be connected for local wireless play. The player can place the console upright anywhere by using the built-in stand, then easily share Joy-Con for multiplayer fun away from the TV. The console will support online Wi-Fi multiplayer gaming. Nintendo also unveiled a new online subscription service that will begin with a free trial at launch. The service includes a smart-device application available in summer 2017 that will let users invite friends to play online, set play appointments, and chat with one another as the play compatible games. The fully featured paid service will be available in autumn.

Nintendo Switch will be supported by world-class third-party publishers including Activision Publishing Inc., Electronic Arts, Take-Two Interactive, Ubisoft, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment and major Japanese publishers. Some publishers, such as Bethesda Softworks, are joining Nintendo for the first time. Players can look forward to major franchises on Nintendo Switch such as EA Sports FIFA, The Elder Scrolls, NBA 2K,Minecraft and more. Nintendo Switch software will not be region locked.

The unique capabilities of the console and Joy-Con have combined with innovations from past systems to create Nintendo’s most flexible, feature-packed video game console ever. This is demonstrated by the wide variety of unique games that were announced for launch day, the summer, and into the 2017 holiday season, from both Nintendo and its third-party partners. From the engrossing open-air experience of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild to the party fun of 1-2-Switch, Nintendo Switch offers something for everyone.



Select First-Party Games

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Prepare for the biggest The Legend of Zelda adventure yet, with an open-air style that breaks new boundaries while honouring the origins of the acclaimed series. Explore a world of unprecedented size and discover more than 100 puzzle-filled shrines, plus a wide variety of weapons, outfits, and gear. Players won’t want to stop playing, and they won’t have to, since Nintendo Switch allows them to continue the adventure anywhere, anytime.

The game is compatible with the series of The Legend of Zelda 30th Anniversary-themed amiibo, the Wolf Link amiibo, and the new The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wildamiibo. In addition to the previously announced Link (Rider), Link (Archer), and Guardian amiibo, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild range of amiibo will also include new Zelda and Bokoblin amiibo. The amiibo in this series are larger and more detailed, particularly the Guardian amiibo with its extra articulation.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild will provide players with a landmark Nintendo Switch experience on the console’s launch day on 3rd March, and will be available as both a standard solus game for £59.99 on the Nintendo Official UK Store and as a Limited Edition, which contains the game, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Sound SelectionCD and a Master Sword of Resurrection figure, for £89.99 on the Nintendo Official UK Store.

1-2-Switch: This is the first Nintendo video game in which players compete in fun activities while staring into each other’s eyes instead of at the TV screen. From Wild West gunslinging to copying each other’s dance moves, the games in 1-2-Switch make creative use of a broad variety of Nintendo Switch features to liven up parties with anyone, anywhere, at any time. 1-2-Switch will be available for £39.99 on the Nintendo Official UK Store alongside the Nintendo Switch console on its launch day on 3rd March.

ARMS: Featuring a unique multiplayer fighting sport that lets you trade blows using extendable arms, this game includes elements of both boxing and shooting games, plus an all-new cast of characters. After customising a character with a variety of arms, the player holds one Joy-Con in each hand and throws left and right punches at the opponent. Characters can jump and dash, and players can bend their punches by twisting their hands as they swing. As players learn the game and improve their skills, they will discover a deeper level of advanced tactics. Players can compete against the computer, against a friend on a split screen using a second set of Joy-Con (sold separately), against worldwide rivals online, or with two Nintendo Switch consoles over a local wireless connection. ARMS will be available this spring.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe: With Nintendo Switch, fans can enjoy the definitive version of Mario Kart 8 anywhere, anytime, even with up to 8 friends in local wireless multiplayer. All your favourite tracks and characters return from the Wii U version, plus all DLC tracks and characters, and new characters join the roster, too: Inkling Boy and Inkling Girl fromSplatoon, King Boo, Dry Bones, and Bowser Jr.! Plus, battle Mode has been revamped and includes Balloon Battle and Bob-omb Blast, with all-new courses such as Urchin Underpass and Battle Stadium, and returning ones like (GCN) Luigi’s Mansion and (SNES) Battle Course 1. Players can now carry two items at a time, including new items returning from previous Mario Kart games such as Boo, the item-stealing ghost, and the Feather, which gives you a high jump in battle mode. Players can even choose to use a new Smart Steering feature which makes driving and staying on the track easy for novice players and kids, even at 200cc. Play in TV mode in up to 1080p. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe launches on 28th April and will be available for £49.99 on the Nintendo Official UK Store.

Splatoon 2: Traditional 4-on-4 turf battles return in this full sequel to the original breakout hit game, along with new stages, new fashions and new weapons such as the two-handed Splat Dualies. Players can compete on the TV or on the go. Whether they use the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller (sold separately) or Joy-Con, players can aim their ink using gyro controls.Splatoon 2 supports both local and online multiplayer matches. The game will also support voice chat using the new Nintendo Switch smart device app (a free, limited version of the app will be available this summer), and will add new stages, fashions and weapons after launch, as the original game did. Splatoon 2 is scheduled to launch this summer.

Super Mario Odyssey: This is the first sandbox game that allows Mario to fully explore his world since Super Mario 64 on Nintendo 64 and Super Mario Sunshine on Nintendo GameCube. Mario jumps out of the Mushroom Kingdom and embarks on a journey through mysterious new places and new experiences, such as sailing between worlds aboard an airship and the ability to throw Mario’s cap. Super Mario Odyssey is scheduled to launch during the 2017 holiday season.

Snipperclips – Cut it out, together!: In this creative new kind of action-puzzle game, players communicate, cooperate, and use their imagination to solve basic and advanced puzzles by cutting paper characters into new shapes. Play by yourself or with a friend in the main game, then bring in a bigger group to solve up to four-player dynamic puzzles or compete in other activities. Snipperclips – Cut it out, together! will release in March in Nintendo eShop.
Launch Titles
1 2 Switch
Disgaea 5 Complete
Has Been Heroes
I am Setsuna
Steep
Rayman Legends
Puyo Puyo
Snipperclips
Just Dance 2017
BOTW
Skylanders

Images
Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 81827 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 82511 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 82944 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 83239 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 83403 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 83827 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 83901 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 84044 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 84239 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 85323 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 85534 PM.jpg Screen Shot 2017-01-12 at 90415 PM.jpg
Trailers












Extra Reveals:

Online SNES and NES games
Voice chat online
Monthly free games with Nintendo sub
C2BwC2IUsAYS6bx.jpg C2Byhx_UcAAbow4.jpg


 
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xxNathanxx

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1) Paid online made the PS4 flop.
3) The PS4 launch price was $399, that's the reason it flop.
Holy shit what the PS4 sold over 50 million units, I thought it was some niche product and nobody really played console games anymore. Is everyone okay with constantly paying just so they can play with their friends? Paying extra all the time for a fundamental part of the console is pretty crazy to me!
 

Sketchy1

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Expect it to be cheap, not the same price as PSN and Xbox live gold. im thinking between £10-17.
See, now it makes sense. Idk why, but I expected them to be charging the same amount as Xbox/PS, which would totally be a blow. But I saw it pointless to charge $30-40 just for multiplayer if its sold for cheaper then the Xbox/PS and meant to catch the eye of someone on a budget
 
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I can see where you're coming from but you can just go into that one Switch piracy thread and see a lot of people (like me) don't intend to pirate
I don't even wanna mod my Switch until the end of it's lifetime out of fear of getting banned.

The Switch and Android tablets are completely unrelated. I mean, for starters, it doesn't run Android. Furthermore, it specifically designed to be a gaming device with thoughtful integration of detachable controls and seemless transition between playing on the couch and on-the-go. And most importantly, it gets the full support of Nintendo behind it.

The only thing it seems to really have in common with an Android tablet is the fact that it has a touch screen. Of course, the 3DS also features a touch screen. Is that just a miniature Android tablet?
Wait was the Switch confirmed not to run Android? Not getting mad at you for saying that w/o giving proof, I'm genuinely curious.
 

stl25

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PS4 outsold the Wii U 4 to 1 even with Wii U having been out a full year before the PS4.

By comparision the Wii only outsold PS3 by a margin of 1.2 to 1 over its life cycle.

The Wii fad passed and doomed the Wii U.

What will become of the switch? Will it sell as many units as the PS4 or Xbox One over it's life cycle? Will it be the most popular online platform for multiplayer games?
 
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Sketchy1

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I don't even wanna mod my Switch until the end of it's lifetime out of fear of getting banned.


Wait was the Switch confirmed not to run Android? Not getting mad at you for saying that w/o giving proof, I'm genuinely curious.
1) most hacks aren't detectable for that reason
2) if it did, it would be that much easier to hack IMO
 
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0:02 Soo, is this the Splatoon world before getting flooded? Also "New Donk City". Expect many expand dong memes.
0:30 Humans? This just feels... wrong.
0:34 How come the wanted level din't rise? Hax.
0:42 Mario is dead. I don't care "He can buttfuckstomp to prevent damage". He's dead.
0:50 Now what, he ripoffs Sonic's spindash and the Samba de Amigo world too?
1:09 That looks like Grow up/Home world.
1:39 Dapper Bowser. Nice.
1:43 Well, Mario's learned how to throw his hat. Ok. Feels like I've already seen this move somewhere else...
1:52 Is that... The first boss from Super Mario Land?!
1:55 ...Splatoon?
2:33 Now the hat's alive. M'kay.

Seems like the theme for this game will be hats, especially top hats. Also, that hat will 99% be an alien or something that will give Mario the ability to throw his hat, so, it's a Luma ripoff. I can't wait for the power up that will make Mario's clothes alive to attack his enemies. Also, it was said this is an open world Mario, right? Wrong. These are just some really big levels. It's not a single, giant open world. Gotta be specific. As for these levels, you ripoff Samba the Amigo, Sonic/GTA and Grow Home/Up. Ok.
Dunno, when watching this trailer, I was like "This would be much better if it was Sonic instead of Mario". I mean, the world with the humans feels straight out of a Sonic game, and that robot at 2:15 feels like something Eggman would make. Also, imagine being able to do all the stunts that Mario did as Sonic, along being able to go fast, and maybe also run up walls and shit. That'd be fucking cool.


Hey, I din't knew that Top Hunter: Roddy & Cathy was getting a sequel!


...wait what? This is something else? It's not made by SNK? Oh...
Anyway, this game's interesting. It's kinda like... and TPS beat 'em up? Dunno. It kinda looks like a minigame from Mario Party... Also, it kinda gives me Power Stone vibes. Has to be the character designs.

Everything else, I don't care much. Splatoon 2 is Splatoon 2, I think I know what to expect from the game even if I don't see the trailer. BOTW, ok. Bomberman will be fucked up, because FucKonami, Super Street Fighter 2 Ultra with Knuckles feels like's capcom excuse for not porting SFV to Switch: "Because we can't port SFV to Nintendo's new shitty console, here's a game we re-released so many time even we don't know, with just some minor extra things". Unless they'll do that in the future, in that case, fuck you too Capcom.
And last, but not least, now to play online we gotta lick Nintendo's butthole pay a fee too.
I will only not mind if, one, Nintendo's online will get better, and two, if we get stuff to play online apart from Splatoon/Smash/Kart. And also, if it would be cheap.
Tho, I believe I undestand why many people are mad at this, it's because $ony and Micro$ost did it as soon as their console had online capabilities, while Nintendo waited TWO fucking console generations before jumping in the bandwagon.
I'm out.
 

Obveron

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Online is paid? Sorry no way am I interest unless switch can attract every single cross platform title. I only have the stomach for 1 gaming subscription. I'd give up sony/ms exclusives for nintendo exclusives but I can't live without 3rd party crossplatforms. Sounds like nintendo really screwed up, sell your stock now!
 
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TheDarkGreninja

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I don't even wanna mod my Switch until the end of it's lifetime out of fear of getting banned.


Wait was the Switch confirmed not to run Android? Not getting mad at you for saying that w/o giving proof, I'm genuinely curious.
Yeah we see a hint of the OS which looks nothing like android.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

no metroid...
Not in 2017, maybe next year.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Online is paid? Sorry no way am I interest unless switch can attract every single cross platform title. I only have the stomach for 1 gaming subscription. I'd give up sony/ms exclusives for nintendo exclusives but I can't live without 3rd party crossplatforms. Sounds like nintendo really screwed up, sell your stock now!
Once again, after thinking about this itll be pretty cheap at like £10-£17. Subscriptions for MS and Sony create $3 billion in revenue, actually stock holders were very happpy about a paid service as nintendo can make a lot of money off of that. What really pissed off stockists was the fact that it was $299 and not $249, I still expect a price drop to around $269/279 which'll put it right in contention with the other two, also, this machine has to have pretty new hardware for it to be so expensive.
 

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So what I expect will happen is the console will sellout (limited stock ) resultibg in scalpers (large portion of purchasers ) reselling through the usual outlets .

Restricting stock faking popularity won't make long term sales and the price will fall similar to 3DS.

Prior to Xbox Scorpio launch Nintendo will use it's daving grace and switch the marketing of this to more like tha of a gameboy / 3DS to dostance it from comoarisons (it it can stay relevant that long, it should )

Let me explain though . I'm Very annoyed . not because I can't buy one, but simply because I won't.

Not because Nintendo are tryjng something (people fail to see that they are not doing this out if choice )

Nintendo are trying to paint this as them being ahead if the curve and taking risks . They are actually taking the minimal risk available.

They are VERY aware they can't go head to head with the other 2. This is the reason the market gimmicks . It could be beneficial (although the Wii dived off a cliff it brought motion controls to mainstream ) they marketed it and supported it well.

The cost of the additional hardware in accesories, took resources from actual console (plus Ninties usual profit)

Console showed it's age quick. devs couldn't port games to such inferior hardware without prohibitive costs. most gave up in risking building an actual original game using Wiis . Microsoft and Sony copied controls, these things contributed hugely to it's demise.

With the switch . The Only thing it has is it's portability. but the cost for a modern gameboy is way too much. the gameboy launched at $179.99.

I grew up on Nintendo , I WANT them to modernise . I WANT them to understand the needs and demands of their user base. Ultimately I want them to succeed. I just won't blindly follow them through another Wii U (N64 -I got burned bad, but it brought me some of the best memories I've ever had in gaming, so don't regret it for a second)
 
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TheDarkGreninja

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So what I expect will happen is the console will sellout (limited stock ) resultibg in scalpers (large portion of purchasers ) reselling through the usual outlets .

Restricting stock faking popularity won't make long term sales and the price will fall similar to 3DS.

Prior to Xbox Scorpio launch Nintendo will use it's saving grace and switch the marketing of this to more like that of a gameboy / 3DS to dostance it from comoarisons (it it can stay relevant that long, it should )

Let me explain though . I'm Very annoyed . not because I can't buy one, but simply because I won't.

Not because Nintendo are tryjng something (people fail to see that they are not doing this out if choice )

Nintendo are trying to paint this as them being ahead if the curve and taking risks . They are actually taking the minimal risk available.

They are VERY aware they can't go head to head with the other 2. This is the reason the market gimmicks . It could be beneficial (although the Wii dived off a cliff it brought motion controls to mainstream ) they marketed it and supported it well.

The cost of the additional hardware in accesories, took resources from actual console (plus Ninties usual profit)

Console showed it's age quick. devs couldn't port games to such inferior hardware without prohibitive costs. most gave up in risking building an actual original game using Wiis . Microsoft and Sony copied controls, these things contributed hugely to it's demise.

With the switch . The Only thing it has is it's portability. but the cost for a modern gameboy is way too much. the gameboy launched at $179.99.

I grew up on Nintendo , I WANT them to modernise . I WANT them to understand the needs and demands of their user base. Ultimately I want them to succeed. I just won't blindly follow them through another Wii U (N64 -I got burned bad, but it brought me some if the best moments I've ever had in gaming, so don't regret it for a second)
Quick thing is that it can compete with the PS4 and XBONE, or at least it can run UE4 at similar presets as them. (2 vs 2.7) Just look at DQ11.
Based on the systems architecture, it can and will get ports, a switch running at 1TFLOP FP32 can compare to an XBONE running at 1.3TFLOPS FP32. The only key difference being the amount of cores in the Switch vs XBONE (CPU-wise it should be totally fine.) Maybe im just too optimistic, but the Switch is in a much better place than the WIIU as it is following the times, there are very few things in this console that make it feel outdated (the 720p screen as well as its storage, or lack of it Although ill be buying a 200GB SD so it shouldnt be too bad.) and one of them being 720p us minor as its smaller screen increases pixel density, for example, the wii u gamepad is 480p but looks very good at such a low resolution, this is double the resolution and a similar size screen. As ive said earlier the pessimism of this console seems to come from lack of knowledge on it, this is nintendo's fault not the consumers.
 

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Oh yeah, I forgot to talk about this, the most likely biggest reason switch has so few launch titles is the fact its releasing in March seeing as how most consoles release in the holidays where most big games are released, In my opinion i think its launch date is one of its biggest issues, if they had released it in November we wouldve seen a lot more games, so, I think this console will have rough sales through Q1 and Q2 and will begin to pick up speed as we reach Q3 as more and more big games come out (Skyrim special edition, the next COD and FIFA which while i dont like other than skyrim, are big sellers) Im expecting a price drop through autumn to accompany this, this would in my eyes maximise sales as people WILL want to play games like FIFA and COD on the go. as we reach Q4 and mario odyssey arrives I expect another big jump in sales, (This is just based on the games announced excluding e3 which will be a big time to announce more games for the Switch this year and Q1/Q2 next year so as to have no droughts) This in my opinion is the best business plan going forward.
 
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hippy dave

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A new Bomberman has got me itching for this system more than any of the other games tbh, I hope they don't fuck it up.

I still want someone to leak the unreleased 3DS Bomberman.
 

LinkBlaBla

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Did you even read my post? I paid under $400 for my XBOX One, with Quantum Break, Alan Wake and GTA V included, brand new. The switch is essentilly a powerful android tablet with some neat bluetooth controllers, if it had been $250 to $300 I could have got considered it, but at this price Nintendo are signing their own death warrant (IMHO). maybe they'll do a drastic 6-months in price cut like they did with N64.


Android is an os....it is not because hardware is similar to the android base phone cpu architecture that it is android...is written from scratch please xbone is weaker than ps4 you could have check before buying it and xbone is don't even selling good.....the Nintendo switch is not a powerful android tablet ,stop crying for the price of 450$ when we know it is more powerful than a the weaker cpu clock and old ram of the xbone , my bet is close to ps4 pro like 2-3.5 tflop maybe less or more who know a solid 60 fps over a crappy 45-60 fps on xbone or ps4 a 720p crispy 6.2 screen (don't complain and look at your iphone 7 gracious 720p screen and price too 1200$ for a iphone) a Good hybrid console for only 450$ bucks in canada seems cheap since i paid non less 575 bucks for a ps4 pro.... i mean stop dreaming about a price cut sell your shitty xbone and buy a switch or at least get a ps4...
 

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Android is an os....it is not because hardware is similar to the android base phone cpu architecture that it is android...is written from scratch please xbone is weaker than ps4 you could have check before buying it and xbone is don't even selling good.....the Nintendo switch is not a powerful android tablet ,stop crying for the price of 450$ when we know it is more powerful than a the weaker cpu clock and old ram of the xbone , my bet is close to ps4 pro like 2-3.5 tflop maybe less or more who know a solid 60 fps over a crappy 45-60 fps on xbone or ps4 a 720p crispy 6.2 screen (don't complain and look at your iphone 7 gracious 720p screen and price too 1200$ for a iphone) a Good hybrid console for only 450$ bucks in canada seems cheap since i paid non less 575 bucks for a ps4 pro.... i mean stop dreaming about a price cut sell your shitty xbone and buy a switch or at least get a ps4...
2-3.5 TFLOPS in a tablet...:rofl2:. Expect 1-.1.3.
 
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    What do you call a slow car? Retired
    +1
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Did you hear about the police car that someone stole the wheels off of? The police are working tirelessly to find the thieves.
    +2
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    A firefighter got arrested for assault his main claim was what I was told he was on fire
    +2
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full
    +2
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already told her twice!
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Diddy also works
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    A scientist heard the word batman so he put a naked lady in a cage with a bat
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Chuck Norris won a staring contest, with the sun.
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    A vampires favorite thing to do is moon you
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    What's the difference between an airplane, and Ken's mom? Not everyone has been in an airplane.
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    What's the difference between @BigOnYa and his wife? Nothing both want to bone me
    +3
  • RedColoredStars @ RedColoredStars:
    How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris
    +1
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    how do i know? you're a guy, and he wants to bone every guy on this site (maybe, idk)
    +1
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    He wants to bone anything with a dick
    +1
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    Good night
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Nighty night, big day tomorrow. Congrats.
    K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7iLZ35NrQt/?igsh=MWd2Z3U0dmNlMmNxcw==